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How do I get out of this hole? by NK84 on 15 Apr, 2015 07:17
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Hi everyone,
I'm a bit of a newbie on this site. I have been reading a lot of posts and have seen some great advice. I feel like I am in a bit of a low point at the moment and would like to ask all you wise and strong people on advice to get out of it.
As most others on this site I have been suffering from male pattern baldness for a few years. It all started off in conjunction with alopecia areata 4-5 years ago following two extremely stressful personal incidents. At the time that was a big blow. I was depressed for a good 6 months. I had let my hair grow in an attempt to cover things up but ended up looking ridiculous. I was convinced to cut it short. The few alopecia areata bald patches where still visible but after 1.5 yr filled back up apart from 1-2 which I could cover. Things started looking good again after 2 years and although my hair was thinning it was not visible. I got my confidence back and started going back out with friends, talking to girls and dating. Fast forward 2-3 weeks ago and again following a stressful incident I have felt like somehow I have been shedding my hair non stop. To the point where my hairline has receded quite a bit, my crown area is visible and hair is thin overall. Although I knew this would happen one day the thought of it happening so fast has made me ill. I'm constantly stressed, struggling to sleep and terrified of talking to people because I constantly feel that their eyes are targeting my receding hairline. As for girls this has been a complete punch in the gut. Overnight I've lost it all. I feel totally unattractive and at times feel as if I am doomed for the rest of my days. I know this is not the way I should think but I'm really struggling here. On one hand I'm thinking that I just need to buzz it all off (it would have to be a very short buzz because I still have two little alopecia patches at the back of the head) and on the other I am terrified of the prospect of what I might look like. What if I don't like it? What if I look really strange and everyone else hates it? And in this case there is really no turning back. How do I get myself out of this hole? I feel like I am my worst enemy. Any advice would be much appreciated. I have also attached a couple of pictures
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#1 by YoungSlyBaldGuy on 15 Apr, 2015 07:58
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I dealt with similar struggles, though my stress caused me to rub my fine hair right out of my head. I was afraid of what I'd look like and what people would think when I shaved my head, but I took a deep breath one night and put a disposable razor to it.
Self-image has always been a battle, but since I started shaving, I haven't had half the problems I used to. Shaving your head gives you confidence. You say this is who you are, and if people don't accept you, then they're not worth your time. It feels like there's nothing left to hide.
I used to worry about people looking at my thinning spot. I was always concerned when someone was behind me at the office. Now, my girlfriend caresses my head all the time.
Nothing's easy, and a big change in the person looking in the mirror can be weird, but it really give you a chance to grow personally and to realize life is about a lot more than some hair on your head.
Hope that helps.
Best of luck,
YSBG -
#2 by Sir Harry on 15 Apr, 2015 11:14
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Welcome, NK84!
I think it's worth a shot to go for the shorter buzz, for if no other reason, you have the beard to compliment a shorter style. If you don't like it, it won't be too long before you're back to what you have now. Good luck!
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#3 by warhawk on 15 Apr, 2015 13:28
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Hi NK: Welcome to the sly fraternity. Glad that you joined us. As far as advice . . . I would just completely "do the deed" and go 100%. I can almost guarantee that you will enjoy the look. Keep us posted to your road to slyness.
WARHAWK
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#4 by NK84 on 15 Apr, 2015 16:47
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Thank you very much for the support all three of you. It means a lot coming from people that have already gone through this.
YoungSlyBaldGuy hit the nail on the head. It's the change that is scary.
Your support has really helped me today. I feel like it's been a bit of a breakthrough. I haven't been able to discuss this with any of my friends or family so having someone listen has been great. I have decided that I will take the plunge for my 31st birthday in 4 weeks time. That's the target I've set for myself. I will post an update with a picture at that point.
Thank you
Nik
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#5 by JustColorado on 18 Apr, 2015 14:36
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You won't regret it. The sooner you do it, the better. My biggest regret
in life was not doing it in my 20's and suffering as I watched it recede for
10 years before I did something.
Make sure you stick to the 30 day rule. Keep shaving/buzzing every day for 30 days.
Hit the gym, upgrade the wardrobe. It is the right thing to do. -
#6 by YoungSlyBaldGuy on 18 Apr, 2015 14:44
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Thank you very much for the support all three of you. It means a lot coming from people that have already gone through this.
YoungSlyBaldGuy hit the nail on the head. It's the change that is scary.
Your support has really helped me today. I feel like it's been a bit of a breakthrough. I haven't been able to discuss this with any of my friends or family so having someone listen has been great. I have decided that I will take the plunge for my 31st birthday in 4 weeks time. That's the target I've set for myself. I will post an update with a picture at that point.
Thank you
Nik
Glad to be of help, Nik. That sounds like an excellent date for some life changing stuff. I hope all goes well and you feel the same freedom the rest of us are enjoying =]