To tell your significant other or surprise

[Nickd]

So as I draw closer to going from a buzz cut to bald, the decision to either tell my wife or surprise her will have to be made. I did tell her that I was going to start buzzing my own hair before making that change.

My question to everyone is did you tell your significant other before you started shaving or did you go for the surprise effect? Either way what was the reaction that you received?

[Cave Dweller]

I surprised her. For about two months or so, I had been telling my wife that I was thinking of shaving. She had been supportive and had said I should do it if it was what I wanted.

On the afternoon of January 1, 2013, while she was napping, I decided that it was time to do it, so I went into the bathroom, buzzed off the horseshoe and shaved down to smooth.

She was very surprised when I woke her up, but she liked it.

[nick2401]

When I went sly the first time I was single. I was on a camping trip with my dad, so I go him to do the honours of buzzing and shaving my head. We didn't tell my mother and I made sure to be wearing a hat when I came home and only took it off after it had been a good 20 minutes to surprise her. She was a little shocked but said it was my hair. Now more then 7 months into being sly she mentioned the other day that it felt like I had alway been like this... and that is the best compliment I have heard yet.

[kalva76]

When I finally decided to go sly, I chose a day when I had the house to myself so I could concentrate and not be bothered. I was pretty anxious, as I guess most are the first time they shave. So I buzzed my hair as low as I could, and then nervously went in with the razor. After the completion of the world's longest shave, thankfully blood free, I saw that it was a definite improvement, and a significant change. I then thought about the reaction I was going to get from my wife later that day. Ironically, when my wife and son came home, no one noticed for over an hour! Then after seeing it, she was fine with it. I say surprise them. Sometimes its harder for a significant other to visualize how good it will more than likely look.

[mrzed]

I think my wife ad a suspicion that it was coming.  She did not complain too much about buzzing shorter and shorter, but would add, "You're not going to shave your head, are you".  Usually would respond, "Well, not for now". 

After a conversation which, to me, sounded like she was OK with it, I shaved my head in the shower the next morning.  Agreed. It was the longest head shave. Agreed. It was a pretty anxious moment.  Showing up at work was pretty anxious, too. 

Right after shaving my head, my wife had a trip to visit her sisters in Minneapolis.  The sisters RAVED about my shaved head for the whole 10 days that wife was there.  (Sent pictures daily).

She's been OK with it since.

Man, all this talk about shaving ... makes me want to go do it again.

[baldbob]

I had been buzzing my hair shorter and shorter and finally just shaved it one August day in 2006. My wife was not at all happy. So I went through a couple years of growing it out and shaving. That only made it worse. When I decided once and for all to keep it sly, I noticed my wife stopped saying anything. Now she keeps my shaving gear stocked up. It was the going back and forth that really bothered her.

[slybeard]

It was a surprise for my wife.  I have been cutting my own hair for years (short buy not normally a buzz cut).  So it was a little shock, but I think she knew it was coming.  I had always told her that when I started noticeably thinning or balding, I would choose to shave over the comb-over.  She though I still had enough hair, but I was ready.

[clipped]

Either way...mentioning it or surprising her... my bet is that she's expecting it.  For a haircut, it's better to ask for forgiveness (or acceptance) than permission.

My wife suggested that I get a buzz cut once.  Had she mentioned it more frequently, I probably would have gotten the message. My longtime Barber (before he retired) had mentioned a high & tight once, but I didn't get the message, if he was sending one. He was too subtle.  The new barber was younger, and I liked him a lot. After a few years, as he was cutting my short businessman cut with the clippers (back & sides), I happened to mention that a friend had told me his brother had gotten a 2-3-2, and I asked what that was.  As the barber was using the clipper, he explained how the interchangeable blades worked, and that I might look good with a clipper cut. When he finished my haircut, he said, "Well, I just gave you a 2-3-2, except for the very front" which he left so I could comb (like a semi-crew cut).  So, both my wife & I were surprised.  She liked it and said next time tell him to cut it as short as possible. So, when we went on vacation, I got a #1, and one day at Disney, I just shaved it all off.  She was surprised, but not shocked, and accepting.  I didn't stay razor shaved, but went through a long period of shorter & shorter clipper cuts and occasional razor shaves.  For the past 2+ years, I have cut my own hair in the #0s, and razor shave occasionally, lasting 30 days last summer. Even though I am mostly clipper shaved, most people consider that I "shave" my head.   When I do razor shave, no one really notices the difference.  Being clipper or razor shaved is not really as big a deal as most of us think it is. 

[reddog]

W/o and I were sitting in a coffee shop one day, I had a full head of silver hair, and there was a guy with a clipped shaved head there. I said how about me doing that, she was totally against it. I said oh come on, just one time. She said ok. Several months later, we were at a festival, and there were 20 or 30 guys with shaved heads, including my neighbor. I mentioned that maybe it was time to buzz my head. So I got up very early the next morning and took the clippers with a 0 blade to my head. Got in the shower with a razor and I was bald! When she got up she was shocked. She said she thought I was kidding about shaving my head. A few hours later she looked at me and said maybe I shouldn't grow it back right away. I asked if she really liked it, and she said she loved it. So did I! So I kept it shaved, although over time she wanted me to grow my hair back, I loved the shaved head.

[Bilko1]

I think your wife/significant other may be kind of expecting you to shave your head if you have been clippering it for a while. I would maybe surprise her & just do the deed, bro.

Although I had been getting short haircuts & buzzes for a good while even before we were married, my wife never expected me to have my head shaved voluntarily. It happened one warm summer a number of years ago. I had went to my regular barber for my haircut, and because it was really warm I asked for a shorter cut. He gave me a #2 all over & then asked if I had ever thought of having my head shaved. I said no initially, but he said that he thought I would really suit it. So at his suggestion I said ok & he then shaved me bald. I was a little apprehensive at first but loved the experience of becoming bald by choice. When I went home, my wife almost collapsed in shock as did a few of my friends when they first saw my shaved head, but I also got a lot of compliments. Eventually my wife got used to seeing me bald & now she wouldn't have me any other way except bald. Go for it bro & give your significant other a nice surprise.

All the best,

Bilko

[K5mow]

I definitely told her about it first.

Roger