Black people and women

• Black people and women by mike1982 on 18 Dec, 2014 22:02
• What a neutral topic for my first post 
  
  Small intro, 32 year old male, horseshoe balding pattern. Did the Propecia thing for years. Shaved with normal clippers starting last year, got the razor out for the first time last month...Here are my observations.
  
  I know when anybody says I'm not a racist but......9 out of 10 times something racist follows. So I'm just going to lay this out because I'm curious what both white and black men have to say on the topic. I'm a ridiculously polite person, always have been. Please, thank you, excuse me, and hold the door for anybody that is near me, man or woman. Before I shaved my head, I could not think of more then a couple of times a black person, man or woman, responded with thank you when I held the door for them. Obviously skin color doesn't play a role at all, it's all social/economic/upbringing etc. Since I have shaved my head that is clearly the thing I have noticed the most. Just about every black person will say thank you when I hold the door. Without fail, every time. Which is just bewildering to me. How just the shaving of the head could create such a dramatic shift in manners. Very curious if anybody besides myself has experienced this and if so any clue as the psychology behind it? I have read shaved heads give a more dominant appearance, but that doesn't feel like whats happening. Perhaps I look less stuffy then I did with hair so my friendly gesture is returned appropriately? Again just curious as I've noticed this in such an obvious way and I have no clue why or if I'm the only one. 
  
  Second observation I have noticed. At 32, I don't attract anyone my age. I haven't been with anybody in the 30-36 age bracket since I started buzzing it. That said, I attract a lot of 22-27 year olds (I will take it) and a lot of 37-45 year old's (I will take it). My general take, it seems like the young chicks want to bang an older dude. They like the mature dominant look. This is clearly the largest demographic that seems interested in me. The older women just don't seem to care as much. I think as we all age we become less shallow and that's what I attribute to the older lady attraction angle. As far as women my age, they want little to do with me. I'm not complaining as both the demographics that seem to like my look are just fine by me, I just find these little subtle things interesting and again, ask the community if they have noticed anything similar.
   
• #1 by DOC_OSMC on 19 Dec, 2014 08:42
• What's your race, nationality?  Curious that you are singling out black men as the ones saying thank you.  Are you not getting the same courtesy from other races, white, Asian, Hispanic, etc.  Or is it that you've always gotten the courtesy from others and so that hasn't changed since you've shaved your head.  Just curious what you are getting at here.
  
  As far as women goes, I have noticed that I've attracted younger women as well.  However I'm 43, so younger to me is anyone below that, haha.  Not really seen too many looks from women my age or older.  But I'm not complaining.
• #2 by TheSlyBear on 19 Dec, 2014 09:40
• I've noticed no differences across demographics of how I am treated. Some are polite, some are not. Doesn't seem to have much to do with either race or gender.
  
  As a sly gay man, I've noticed that I attract guys of all ages.
• #3 by slybeard on 19 Dec, 2014 10:16
• I have noticed a similar reaction with a different twist.  I have noticed since shaving my head and growing my beard that I frequently get beard complements from black ladies.  It is almost guaranteed anytime I am out in public, if I have any interaction with a black lady I will get a compliment on the beard or mustache.  From guys, its mainly the young guys who are trying to grow a beard or from other bearded guys, equally from any race.  I can count on one hand the compliments from white ladies.
  
  As far as manors, I am in the deep south of the US and good manors are common.  I have observed no differences in that.
• #4 by mike1982 on 19 Dec, 2014 10:57
• DOC: I'm a white male, half Greek and half Irish. I basically look 100% Greek or Italian, I get that a lot. The city I live in is about a perfect 50/50 split in demographics as far as black and white people. I don't encounter large enough samples of Hispanic/Asian people to form any opinion. I don't live in an area that has a very high Hispanic population and Asians do not make up a large % of the gen pop. I'm not singling out just black males, my statement applies to black females as well. So for clarification....
  
  Previously, when I had the thinning hair, it was very rare to hear thank you if I held the door for a black person. Obviously some white people did the same, I just didn't notice it at as high a percentage, perhaps that's my own shaded glasses. I don't know. I'm smart enough to recognize that we can all have skewed minds, even if it is very deep down. I don't view myself as bias though, I'm in management, my first three people I hired was a black man, a gay man, and a woman. One of my closest friends is gay. I really could care less what a persons "profile" is.  But again, I recognize we can unconscious bias. Which is partly why I'm asking this in the first place. If multiple people experienced this in the states I would be more likely to conclude my observations were accurate compared to if nobody else has ever noticed this.
  
  Since I shaved my head, I would say black people say thank you when I hold the door for them at least 3 to 4 times more frequently, male and female.  As far as white people, it seems to be about the same since I shaved my head. I love psychology, so I'm just trying to understand my observations. I have read a lot of studies about how bald people are perceived by the total population, but never subsets of the population. It seems very obvious to me that this particular subset of the population has provided the most noticeable reaction. I mean I hold the door for everybody, doesn't matter, so I get several trials of this a day. I haven't read a spec of anything that says this subset of the population would be prone to show any changes in behavior.  I can understand why I'm more appealing to younger women for example, as some younger/women in general, have a very high attraction to a dominant appearance.  Which I have read in multiple studies now to be part of the perception of bald men. So for the women that really like a dominant look I can understand on a psychological level why I would be more attractive to them. As far as this thing regarding the black community and me holding doors, I have no clue whatsoever.
• #5 by mike1982 on 19 Dec, 2014 11:14
• Quote from: slybeard on 19 Dec, 2014 10:16

  I have noticed a similar reaction with a different twist.  I have noticed since shaving my head and growing my beard that I frequently get beard complements from black ladies.  It is almost guaranteed anytime I am out in public, if I have any interaction with a black lady I will get a compliment on the beard or mustache.  From guys, its mainly the young guys who are trying to grow a beard or from other bearded guys, equally from any race.  I can count on one hand the compliments from white ladies.
  
  As far as manors, I am in the deep south of the US and good manors are common.  I have observed no differences in that.
  

  Dude you have an epic beard. Love it. I noticed a little more attention from black women, not a ton, I can't grow facial hair worth a crap, sort of look like Mr. Clean. I did notice a lot of attention from black women when I started wearing a specific hat I had. My bald hat I called it, it was sort of a newsboy style hat that had a twist on it. Previous to me wearing that hat I had received zero attention my entire life from black women, but I got several compliments with the eye flutter from black women with that hat on.  I don't know, I know my post sounds very sweeping in it's judgement of an entire race and how they have responded but it's what I've noticed. No different then black women digging your beard look or my hat look. It's just what I've noticed with/without hair. As a side note, manners are not as common where I live. 
• #6 by Sir Harry on 19 Dec, 2014 11:43
• Welcome, Mike!
  
  In a way, I kind of see some of your points to an extent. I was in the military for 22 years and I would clippershave my head if I were on long-term maneuvers or something like that....but this was during the era where many African-American male celebrities were shaving their heads in the 1990's
  
  Fast forward to the late 2000's to present....Many men, regardless of race, started shaving their heads at the first sign of balding (in my case I started razor shaving in 2008 when my hairline was pretty much shot). From the women's standpoint, every woman I have dated or married never had an issue with my shaved head, in fact a couple have shaved my head for me (but that's for another thread) As far as the Black/Non-black thing, at my job if a black man shaves his head, no one makes a big deal....but if a non-black man shaves his head, some people will talk....especially if he grows it back out and some hairloss is discovered. Me personally, I've made plenty of friends with or without hair, but for some reason, I've had more confidence since shaving and that leads to people being more friendly. I think manners need to be shown regardless of how much hair a person has, but it seems like that guys with shaved heads get and/or command more respect for whatever reason....this is just my observation. However, as time goes on people are treating a shaved head as just another haircut that looks good on almost anyone regardless of race, etc. Hopefully we can keep making strides and start looking at the person and not the hairstyle.
• #7 by Cave Dweller on 19 Dec, 2014 20:35
• Interesting observation regarding women, sir.
  
  I did not go smooth until I was fifty - meaning I dated and married while I still sported the horseshoe. I never had any rejections due to my bald dome.
  
  Welcome to the board!
• #8 by dlab on 03 Mar, 2015 09:44
• I don't think it has anything to do with skin color. I think they just have more respect for you because of your shaven head. I noticed that when I shaved my head I was getting more respect from other guys.
  
  As for girls.. I don't have a problem with chics because of my shaven head..  a few even said they liked it.