Would you share a joint Facebook page with your spouse/partner/mate?

[Sir Harry]

I was just going through my friends list on Facebook (no, not to delete anyone, just wanted to check something out) I had two pages but I deleted one, and just added friends (the ones I wanted to keep) from the now deleted page to my other page. Anyway, I just noticed that about five or six of my friends are joint married couples with listings such as "JohnandMary Smith" or "Paul-Sue Jones" or something like that....Just curious (for those who have Facebook pages)....would you share a joint Facebook page with your mate, or do you feel that's one thing that you need to keep for yourself....Thoughts?

[Mike E. P.]

There's nothing hidden in my Facebook page nor is there anything private there, but I wouldn't share a page with my wife. We do have some common friends, but most of our friends are different. We also have different interests and our Facebook pages reflect that.  We are friends on Facebook so we can read what each of us posts.

I don't think that when you're married everything needs to be a joint affair. For me personally, it's important to have things that are your own and separate.

[Cave Dweller]

Like Mike, my wife and I have our own Facebook pages. Her posts involve interests we do not share, and mine tend to reflect my twisted sense of humor that she does not always get nor appreciate.

She also friends just about everyone with whom she ever may have come into contact. I am not so easily friended.

[Blitzed]

Anyone sufficiently off kilter to have and be deeply involved in (I shudder) Facebook deserves not what may happen to them but will happen to them. You say you would NOT share your page with your spouse, partner, lover etc, have no fear, someone else will. Protecting yourself from the predatory people, your friends and family in specific, is about as easy as disguising a cactus as a Christmas tree. You might just as well acquire one of those electronic billboards, and some place where it can be easily seen by all, and use that-it's just as private and confined to the "few people with whom you want to 'share' things." Telephones are just as easy and a lot more private. This doesn't stop your conversationalist from "sharing" what you told them not to "share" but it will take longer to get back to you. It's kind of like that old game of "Pass It On", you know I whisper something to you and you repeat to the next person etc and the person at the end says what he was told. Not only will it be amusing but have no reality to what you said. The myriad joys of "sharing".

[Sir Harry]

Me and my ex have separate pages....We defriended each other for a while but after a while we let go of our anger and we are now friends again even though we both are now in new relationships. We have some mutual friends but it's no big deal.I just don't get it when a person has to request everybody that their mate becomes friends with. @Blitzed.. If you don't want something to come back to you, just don't post it on Facebook.....but of course, most of you knew that.

[Hingatao]

My bf isn't even interested in looking at Facebook let alone having or sharing a page. Same story with flipboard and twitter.

[warhawk]

Hi Harry:  Nice topic you started and I am liking the responses.  I am one of the few people who does not do FB.  However, if I did have a FB account, as much as I love my beautiful wifey, I would have a separate account.

WARHAWK

[wutwutman]

I have always believed that when you get married you join with your spouse to become a new entity.  That being said, you individuality shouldn't disappear.  That's part of what attracted your spouse in the first place right?  So no, I wouldn't share a FB page, for many of the same reasons you guys have given.  But if she really wanted to, I wouldn't be opposed to creating a 3rd page (assuming I have a page, and she has a page already) that we could use for family stuff.  But it would really primarily be her thing

[Mike E. P.]

I have a friend who shares a Facebook page with his wife. I never communicate with him through Facebook because usually what I would want to say to him, I would not want to say to his wife!

[Bolohead]

No, those that do have security issues in their relationship.  I asked a friend of mine who does share his FB with his wife.. I asked him if he wore her panties as well, or used the same toothbrush with her etc.

He looked at me funny and said no way, I asked then why do you share your facebook page with you wife then.. do you realize that when she is responding to someone, they can not tell if its you or her or vise versa answering them....

I told him "Grow some will ya and be a man."

[Mike E. P.]

No, those that do have security issues in their relationship.  I asked a friend of mine who does share his FB with his wife.. I asked him if he wore her panties as well, or used the same toothbrush with her etc.

He looked at me funny and said no way, I asked then why do you share your facebook page with you wife then.. do you realize that when she is responding to someone, they can not tell if its you or her or vise versa answering them....

I told him "Grow some will ya and be a man."

 

[-Doug-]

This is a very good topic Harry. Thanks for starting it. My wife and I do both have separate accounts even though we have a lot of friends in common. Nothing is private and we can each see what the other posts.

I am probably in the minority here but I can certainly see why some couples choose to share accounts. I don't think it is a matter of one spouse controlling the other, one being weaker and cowering to other, or one necessarily wanting keep an eye on every aspect of the other's life.

I think it can comes down to marital commitment and accountability. The internet is an easy way to get in trouble as far as looking at stuff you shouldn't or connecting with old flames. Sharing an account is a way for the couple to openly say we are a couple and committed to each other. It hopefully deters the desire to for old flames to seek someone out online.

I will caveat this by saying that just because someone shares an account doesn't mean that what I mentioned won't or can't happen. However, it does serve as a good buffer for that type of activity. Also, I base this on the fact that the few couples that I am friends with on FB are, from all that I can see and know about them, in very happy and healthy relationships.

[Semi-Sly]

Well you asked for my opinion about Farcebook - so here it is:

1.  I won't post any personal information on FB at all, much less share it with another?!?

2.  I believe that it is hard enough to exist in the real world - why start up an existence in an alternate "reality"?

3.  I am not sufficiently vain enough to think that anyone else in the work either does or should be concerned with what I did today!

4.  No one truly "communicates" on FB.  If someone really wants to communicate with me they should have the decency to either telephone or write.

5.  FB is the biggest hoax on record!.  FB is trolling through all of your personal email and contact lists; is collecting and SELLING information about what you like, what you have purchased on your credit and bank accounts, what you THINK, what your personal beliefs and opinions are, etc. 

6.  I work for the US Govt.  I know what a gold mine of information FB is and the various nefarious uses it is being put to without your knowledge and consent.

Bottom line:  You have to be crazy to use FB or Tweeter, or NumbSkull, etc.

[TheSlyBear]

No. That would be weird.

[Sir Harry]

Doug, I agree with mostly what you said regarding the married couples that do have a joint FB page....However, on the flip side of that, towards the end of my last marriage, some of my ex-wife's friends requested me as a friend and I accepted. She got upset, saying that her friends wanted to post some stuff but were scared to because of me (e.g unsavory pictures) I told her that any friend that had an issue with me could unfriend me at any time no questions asked. Turns out she didn't want me to be friends with them because she was afraid her shenanigans would get exposed. It's kind of funny since I got in a new relationship all of a sudden she likes my statuses and pictures, something she hardly did when we were married. Anyway, though I just don't think that you have to request every friend that your mate befriends on Facebook (and vice versa).