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#165 by PORKY on 15 Dec, 2007 03:47
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ORANGE COUNTY TO GET THE PINK BIKE WITH THE CHROME HANDEL BARS A COMPLETE MAKE OVER! maybe even get a icecream box attached to it so that
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#166 by marshd1000 on 17 Dec, 2007 03:39
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I can start a new line of work as a Good Humor Ice Cream man. As I turn on my bells, Janet, the fat perfume chick starts turning her head around like Linda Blair in the Exorcist and growls......"FEED ME". I am scared for my life so I feel obliged to do that. Meanwhile, the guy, who I held hostage and had escaped is stationed at a neighboring overpass with a firehose of Rogaine solution pointed at my vehicle. While he had hoped that dousing me with Rogaine would make my head hairy, he missed my head and made my beard grow really long and my body get hairier. He instead doused Janet, the Fat perfume chick with the majority of the solution. At this point, Janet started to get chest and other body hair. At that point, I said to her, "I am going to give you some revenge and wax you more than your bikini line". I then shouted "This is for all the hairy bodied men everywhere who waxed their body for their wife, girlfriend or life partner." Meanwhile, Helga, the overweight Swedish therapist, started waxing Janet's body (or was that really James?). As Janet was screaming in pain because of getting waxed, Porky and myself started to play ZZ Top songs on guitars that were in Janet's car. We commented that we looked like sly versions of ZZ Top. We then enlisted Robmeister (former drummer for Lechen Grey ) to be our drummer. As we left the carnage of Janet's waxing, Robbie, Porky and myself went to Morehead City, NC to attend the annual conference of the Bald Headed Men of America. While there, we provided the entertainment. At this point someone said to us.....
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#167 by froze on 17 Dec, 2007 10:24
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...you guys are good! Why don't you form a band and call yourself ZZ Topless! Since you are very sly! So after we enterntained that thought we formed a the band! and now we..........
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#168 by marshd1000 on 17 Dec, 2007 18:52
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Are getting airplay on all major media outlets as we have now become ambassadors for the sly movement. But before we embark on a major tour, we decide to go home for Christmas to be with our families. But before we do that, we head up to North Pole, Alaska, outside of Fairbanks and go to Santa Claus House and visit Santa. While there we convince him to definately keep the white beard, but to cut off that fringe. As a result, Santa decides to visit all the good bald men's homes and put a HeadBlade in their stockings. But with people like Donald Trump, he puts a lump of coal in his stockings and magically makes the value of his stock deflated. At this point, Donald then screams.........
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#169 by PORKY on 18 Dec, 2007 04:20
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"ALL THE WOMEN ARE GETTING A CHEAP PEARL NECKLACE and all you lazy apprentice's get a pair of CHEAP SUNGLASSES so just maybe you can all be SHARP DRESSED MEN !" SO... Porky, SANTA, Robmiester, all jumped into the famous ZZ TOPLESS COUPE and headed back out of fairbanks. BEFORE getting on the turnpike the decided to stop ath the local ALLGREENS to pick up some extra BALD GUY products for the trip , and blades for the few HEADBLADE razors they have left. well upon entering ALLGREENS , who should they run into in the headblade Isle , SINEAD OCONNER ! Well "SIN" as she asked to be called asked where we were headed , and could she grab a lift? we discussed it and said sure , BUT YA HAVE TO
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#170 by Robmeister on 18 Dec, 2007 07:43
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....leave the Pope out of it. Sinead sheepishly agreed under one condition....
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#171 by PORKY on 19 Dec, 2007 23:58
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that he remove his yamika, and lift his robeand PROVE TO THE WORLD that
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#172 by Timmay on 20 Dec, 2007 07:29
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that even though I am celibate....I still love women.....in which he exposes his inner thighs with a tattoo of the likeness of the Fat Perfume Lady. The crowd that had gathered around to catch a glimpse of the Pope run off in a massive stampede. The gate that leads out of the Holy city has been barricaded. The villagers are climbing the walls trying to get out, screaming and fighting at one another. NO FEAR TIMMJ is here on his pink scooter and his "Flaming Red and Whites" ( lol i pissin myself here) backs his scooter down about three blocks. Puts it in first gear...lays on the gas and burns rubber heading for the 8 ft tall iron gate. Timmj is flying at super sonic speed when suddenly........................................
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#173 by PBurke on 20 Dec, 2007 08:54
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YALL ARE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR PICKING ON THE POPE. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
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#174 by Timmay on 20 Dec, 2007 09:01
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SEE YA THERE BURKIE! LOL
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#175 by Robmeister on 20 Dec, 2007 09:51
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Timmj is flying at super sonic speed when suddenly........................................
He is struck by lightening. Yep, Divine retribution for pickin' on the pope. He crumbles in a smoldering heap right at the gates and the huge crowd erupts in raucous applause, moving as one towards TimmJ's lifeless corpse. -
#176 by Timmay on 20 Dec, 2007 10:17
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Guess this is the ending of the Never Ending Story???
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#177 by marshd1000 on 20 Dec, 2007 17:47
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Now our story is starting to make sense. Earlier it had been written in a "first person" stance. But yes, it was TimmJ who first put the sly guy in his basement and made him a hostage. As for Porky and Robmeister, the other members of ZZ Topless, they performed with Sinead O'Conner at the funeral of TimmJ while Santa and the Pope officiated. As for Janet, the Fat Perfume Chick, she had to have laser hair removal for all the hair on her body and became a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers after losing 300 lbs on it. She now lives in Seattle and is now the buyer for perfumes for Nordstrom.
Porky became a trucker and Robbie became a cop and did financial counseling on the side. Both of them became leading spokesmen for the Sly Movement.
All of our cast of characters went home and had a nice Christmas with their families.
But the moral of this story is: sly or not, be content and happy with yourself. Yes, try to improve but realize that while someone else may supposedly look better or be richer, etc, all of us have our issues and weaknesses and struggles. So you don't really know what is going on inside of someone's brain.
With this, I wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy New Years, and all the other Winter Holidays!
BYE BYE!
To be continued?
??
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#178 by Robmeister on 20 Dec, 2007 18:51
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Robbie became a cop and did financial counseling on the side.
Someone's been paying attention.....someone cares
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#179 by Timmay on 20 Dec, 2007 20:56
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WOW Marsh! That was awesome....we will just have to start a sequal....anyone game?...some one else start it out first....