A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client who lost his house
in Hurricane Katrina and wanted to rebuild. He was told the loan would be
granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being
offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which
took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information
to the FHA, he received the following reply:
(Actual letter):
''Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we
note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we
compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented
the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the
proposed collateral property back to 1803.
Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the
title back to its origin.''
Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual Letter):
Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note
that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by
the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this
country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know
that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in 1803, the year
of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA
Bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from
France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land
came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the Year
1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted
the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella.
The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about
titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope
before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope,
as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God,
and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.
Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of
the world called Louisiana . God, therefore, would be the owner of origin
and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we
know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be
satisfactory.
Now, may we have our damn loan?''
