Need some encouragement

[Slim]

I went to Sport Clips a couple of weeks ago and had my hair cut as short as possible. The stylist tried to talk me out of it. She was the second stylist that told me not to do it. I was told I had a great look. And I do, or did.

About 10 years ago I ditched the ball cap (a huge step and hugely freeing) and got a buzz cut, a no. 4 styled by a professional. I looked good. Got lots of compliments. Had a magnificent rising forehead. But ten years later the monks spot is starting to meet the rising forehead. I still didn't look bad, but the receding area no longer looked like a natural part of my haircut. So I figured I'll try taking it all off.

Immediately after the cut I was sick about it, went to bed early, depressed, and with a head ache. I thought I would grow it out again as soon as I could. But than I got to thinking, since I'm in this deep why not experiment with it before growing it back. Tried a couple days of facial growth while keeping my head as short as I could with clippers without a guard. Not a good look for me. Makes me look old and haggard. Bread is gray. I'm not a beard person. Facial hair is uncomfortable and not clean looking and I think goatees look douchy on me. No offense. Some guys look great that way.

I really don't know what to do about this. I tried a smooth shave. I've been to a tanning salon and been spray painted twice. My head where I had hair just doesn't seem to take a tan. And I don't have a monument to cranial architecture like Yule Brynner had. I have more of a Michael Stipe look, that kind of skull and face shape. Or maybe Kelly Slater. So I think there may still be some hope.

I've noticed that most men who go this route do not have the smooth shiny look. Yule Brynner did. But almost all the rest of the bald celebs only appear to take it down as far as clippers with no guard. My problem is my rim grows in thick and dark except just above my ears which grows in gray, giving me a Forrest Gump look. I want to look like an urbane sophisticate, not some redneck moron just back from a rally.

I need encouragement. I've been mostly hiding it under a ball cap. I did take the cap off to show some of the guys at work, and I went out to the Mall and a Target to pick up a few things without a hat on to see if I scared anyone or if girls would come running. Neither one happened.

I do like the idea of low maintenance and not having to worry about bed head, hat head, etc. However, I don't consider a smooth shave low maintenance. That is more time consuming than my old routine. Only the unguarded clippers really qualify as manly quick grooming IMO.

And I do think I may look younger, or at least more ageless, by that I mean hard to guess my age. But I don't relish looking like a VW Beetle with the doors open. I am amongst friends here so I can talk openly. I'm thinking some smoothly shaved men would look better with hair, even if it wasn't full coverage. Steve Wilkos or Paul Schaffer for example. Letterman himself looks good with thinning hair, shaving clean would not improve his look. And some of the celebs who really look good don't shave smooth and shiny, Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, for example.

I don't know. I'm confused. And going wobbly. I know I shouldn't care this much about how I look and should go with what ever is comfortable. Not caring is what looks good on a man. Balding is not what makes balding men appear weak and pathetic, it is the too obvious caring about it that dooms them. But putting theory into action ain't easy for many people. But I'm rambling.

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[djones]

 Well posting some pics would help..as far as the tan goes just gotta wait it out...when I see guys rocking the horseshoe I imagine what they would look like shaved..most it would be better a few it wouldn't, there's a guy at my church that has horseshoe and a very nice beard that he keeps the same length and it fits him well but he is an exception more than the rule in my opinion...I'm receding so I look my age when shaved and much older when I have hair..without pics there's not much anyone can say for your exact situation but I wish you happiness in what ever you decide to do..

[DanO]

First of all, welcome aboard!

Don't worry about feeling a bit "off" at first.  I certainly felt a bit exposed for the first couple of days, however it does get easier.

You could try following the 30 day rule - which is to keep it shaved down for 30 days before making a decision about whether to keep it that way.  By the end of the 30 days you'll have had a chance to get used to your new look and can make a more informed decision about what to do next.

[Razorhead]

Welcome!

I agree try the 30 day rule to get used to the look and then decide what works best for you. But I think if you want to try a smooth shaved look then do the 30 day rule so that you can get use to the look and others will get use to it as well. I can't imagine being inconsistent in shaving the first 30 days .... It would be too hard to get used to the look. Plus the smoothness only lasts a day. You just might be too hard on yourself on your new look. We all are when we make a big change. The board is a good place for encouragement 

[Cave Dweller]

Glad you joined us Slim.

Seriously, give yourself time to adjust to this new look. That is the purpose of the thirty days.  You have to commit to shaving daily and not make any decision during that period. Your skin is going to be pale where the hair once was. Tanning salons rarely produce a full tan after one or two sessions, and your beard is not going to look anything but unshaven and scraggly with only two days worth of growth.

You have to be a little patient. You are your own worst critic for how you look. Not many men are blessed with perfectly shaped heads. (I certainly am not!) But, as you already discovered, few people notice or care about whatever you see as imperfections.

Take your time, sir.

[Mike E. P.]

 Don't let your initial reaction influence your decision. You need to give this a chance and get used to seeing yourself sly. Committing to thirty days will help you make a good decision. You may find you like the look and the process of shaving. And the worry about what others will think of your bald head will more than likely go away. You've already found out that you haven't scared anyone with your appearance! Many of us have felt as you do and what we discovered is that people are really not thinking about us, noticing us, or giving much of a hoot about our heads as we are.

I do think most guys look better bald than growing out a bushy horseshoe, although I do think a horseshoe can look okay if it is kept really short and tight. I also think that all of us normal guys can't expect to look like Jason Statham just because we shaved our heads. And we don't have to look like him to look good. I think Michael Stipe looks good bald.

Get through the thirty days. With some confidence and good grooming and dressing well, you can have the sophisticated look you want.

[baldjoeg]

Well said djones, razorhead, cave dweller and Mike.

I would give yourself a 30 day trial and see if you like the shaved dome. It will always grow back if you don't like the look. It takes time  to adjust to the new look. I would like to see a picture.

[Slim]

Thanks for the advice and encouragement. I was hoping that taking this step would be as great an experience as killing the comb over and taking the ball cap off was ten years ago. That was the most freeing and self-actualizing thing I had ever done up to that point. I immediately felt more confident.

So I had myself psyched when I went to get the shave. But my confidence crumbled like a deck of cards when I saw the results. The only way I looked good was when wearing aviators. But I can't wear aviators all the time.

One of the things that is nagging at me is: two stylists told me not to do it. And they know hair. But they could be basing that on their experience of creating freshly shorn men, which I would think is always a bit dicey from their point of view. But after the skin has smoothed out and the guys have got some tan, the story may change.

I have some reddish birth marks on the back of my head just above my hair line. But a tan will help that I think. And a shirt collar covers most of it.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome, Slim! There are two ways to look at the two stylists that told you to not shave: Either they are thinking you could hold it off a little longer by getting short haircuts, or they're too worried about losing a customer (could be both). To be honest, it's only natural to seek others' approval when making such a big step as shaving your head....but for most people, it will probably be a non-issue. A shaved head is just simply another haircut, and as far as marks, trust me 95% or more of the guys here have some kind of "mark of distingushment" on their head that they wish wasn't there, but after going sly, that too becomes a non-issue. Good luck to you, and post some pictures if you can!

[Slim]

[Images deleted]

The bald pictures are taken in a mirror which distorts the image. Tends to flatten the image and make faces look less flattering. But with pics you can either take a really good one or a really bad one depending on your agenda. I have some bald pics that make me look like a James Bond villain. I apologize for the popped collar.

[Cave Dweller]

THAT is what you see as a problem shape? Put that fear to rest, sir

You look fine. You can stop being self-conscious.

Enjoy the thirty days.

[DanO]

Looking at the pictures I'd say you look better shaved (certainly younger).  The first week or so can be pretty daunting - but it does get better.  I'm eight months in now (more or less) and much happier with my "look" then I'd been in years.  Stick with it Slim, you might grow to love it!

[Mike E. P.]

Wow. Not sure what I was expecting after your posts, but you look great with the shaved head. So much better than with hair and so much younger. I wouldn't put any credence in the words of those stylists. And you definitely don't need those aviators.

[Papa Don]

Hello and welcome Slim.  You said two stylist told you not to do it.  Did you ever think that they were thinking about the money they would lose if you shaved it all off?  Think about that.  Personally, you don't look bad clippered.  Try the shave!

[reddog]

Not sure why you have doubts, you look damn good bald. Definitely younger. I had so many compliments when I shaved, guess it boosted my confidence. I had several friends that are balding tell me they wish they had the balls to try it, so I think us sly guys are pretty special. Give it some time, you might get hooked!

Mike