Newbie looking for advice....

[Young'N]

Gentlemen,

First of all, let me say how great it is to have found a forum like this. I think its true for all of us that, at first, it is difficult to talk about the loss of locks to anyone. For me this is mainly because I don't want people to think it bothers me that I'm losing my hair...but in reality it does. So, thanks for giving me a way to get all of this out. Now lets get down to it...

I'm 25 years old and have been thinning since my senior year of college, when I was about 22. At the time I had long, thick hair up top that would grow in very nicely. Then one morning I woke up, rubbed my head and it felt like my hair was much shorter than just a day before. This puzzled me and when my girlfriend at the time asked if I had gotten a hair cut, my heart sank a little bit. I was starting to go bald, as my father and his father had done before me.

Up until this point, Male Pattern Baldness didn't mean much of anything to me. I was in a unique position too: as I said before my father and ALL the men on my dads side of my family are bald. However, NONE of the men on my moms side of the family lost any significant hair whatsoever, even into their 80's. At first, I just tried to ignore the fact that my hair was coming out of my scalp and it wasn't that difficult initially because it wasn't that noticeable. However, by the summer of 2011 a year later, I began using rogaine foam to try and bring my hair back to life at least somewhat. For me, this worked more on slowing the progression than getting back what I had already lost. But this past August I went on vacation with my girlfriend and her family to North Carolina and purposely didn't bring it because I would have been totally embarrassed had someone found it. Long story short, I didn't use the rogaine from August-December (back on it now) and while my hair grew in rather nicely for a bit, that old bastard MPB has progressed significantly in the past 2 months or so.

Most times I look in the mirror I fantasize about shaving my head, not necessarily razor clean but taking a buzzer with nothing attached and just going to town. But, then I worry about what others might say (ESPECIALLY my girlfriend, she is a gorgeous and incredible woman who I want to marry some day...and I don't want to turn her off). The lowest I've gone up top is a 1 and, while it was definitely a shock at first, I didn't really HATE it. So, I guess the short and skinny of all this is...what is your guys advice? Any input is appreciated...I've posted pictures so u guys get a good idea of what I'm working with up top and whether or not its worth getting rid of...in your opinion.

Thanks fellas 

[Frontier Guy]

Welcome.

"Bald" is just another hairstyle. Albeit, one that is carefree, timeless, and incredibly easy to maintain. And I've not met a guy yet who can't wear it well.

From the little you mentioned in your post, I suspect your girlfriend (future wife) is great and cares more about YOU than your hair. Besides, if it's the hair that she's in love with ... what will you do when MPB continues to the point of her dissatisfaction? I think an honest discussion will alleviate your concerns.

Talk it over. Read the section on the "30 Day Challenge" and then figure out how to move forward.

There are SO many better things to think about than hairloss.

[Mike E. P.]

Hello Young,

It's been quite some time since I experienced what you are feeling, but I remember it well. I, too, didn't discuss my anxiety and my rapidly receding hair loss with anyone. Just kept it all inside, which is bad, as we all know. In fact, I didn't even talk to my wife about it until I was pretty much bald. I don't know why I didn't talk to her about it, but I should have because she would have reassured me that she didn't marry me for my hair. I'm pretty sure she knew I was balding when she dated me! Talking to her would have taken a lot of the anxiety away. So Frontier Guy gives good advice. You should talk to her.

And your comment about you not wanting people to think the hair loss bothers you rings true for me too. In fact, as a fifty year old bald man, I still, for some strange reason, have this concern about not wanting people to think I am bothered by my baldness. It is not a deficit and I want people to know that. I know that is odd but probably comes from years of feeling the way you do now.

You've buzzed down to a 1 and "didn't hate it." I bet if you kept doing that, you'd realize that you looked good. And if you look good and feel good shaving down to 1, you'll look good and feel good shaving with no guard and then completely bald with a razor.

When I finally took control over the situation, it was a fantastic feeling. A weight was lifted and this anxiety went away. The same will happen for you when you are ready.

So talk to your girl, make that fantasy of shaving it all off a reality and use this forum as a means of support. Oh, and I couldn't see your photos!

Good luck!

[Young'N]

Hey Guys,

Thanks for the quick replies and great advice, I definitely appreciate it. As I said before, having a forum to get this stuff out is definitely helpful (especially to others who have gone through similar experiences). I think I will talk to my girlfriend about this stuff because, honestly, I feel like taking my hair off (or at least down significantly) would alleviate much of the stress. At any rate, I'll be sure to check back in browse around the site for some tips. Again, your help is very appreciated.

Best   

[nuts]

Assuming she is supportive (a winner) then go for it.  It will be amazing how liberated you feel.

Check out the 30 day rule on the forum.

Roger

[Sir Harry]

Welcome aboard! Your pictures didn't upload, but good luck!

[djones]

She should be attracted to you and not your hair, and if it is your hair she loves then it's not going to last anyways, I'm 25 with receding hairline..shaving looks much better than anything you can do to try and hide it....and I can't imagine how much money you would save not buying rogaine, hopefully she is a good girl that truly loves you no matter what hair or lack of ,you choose but if not ,alot of women love the sly look...good luck with whatever decision you make, as for me I shaved did the 30 days and out grew on me then i grew it back a few months and shaved it all back off....the only part I regret is when I grew it back

[DOC_OSMC]

Take the 30 day challenge.  You have nothing to loose and I guarantee that shaving your head will give you a liberating feeling.  If your lady love you, she should be supportive.  If you don't like it, which I bet will be doubtful, you can always grow it back.

We only have one life.  Live life, don't let life live you!

Peace!

[geddyflea]

Hey man - luckily, there has never been a better  time to try out the look.   It has become so mainstream now, versus 20 or 30 years ago when it was an anomaly for a younger person.  It is truly another hairstyle (if you will!).  

I couldn't see you pics, but try buzzing it down gradually shorter and shorter over time.  I finally got to stubble length and tried going sly over a long weekend figuring it would grow back to stubble in a week if I didn't like it.   I like the feeling and now, six months later, friends and co workers tell me I'm a natural for the look.  

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

[bennett11]

keep it buzzed short. then go for the shave.  all will accept  you.

[Slim]

I can't see the pics, but if you're down to a #1 going to a zero may not be all that noticeable to others. I'm currently a newbie doing a zero and going shiny smooth is making me pause, so i know where you're coming from.

As others have pointed out shaved heads are everywhere now days. I didn't realize it till I went guardless, but now I notice bald heads everywhere.

I'm not in a relationship, but I'm thinking your fiancee will love it when she sees how confident it makes you look. Confidence is attractive in anyone. Shave it and step up the rest if your grooming game and any initial reservations she has will evaporate.