hi

[caliwrestla]

hey andy yeah i would go see a therapist they can help out a whole lot. im also 23 and going bald cause it runs in my family but i learned to accept it. i think u look awesome wit ur head shaved in your pic u still look young and everything

[Stu]

Andy,

Dealing with hair loss shouldn't be this difficult.  It's fairly normal for someone to have problems when facing hair loss, but your problems are way beyond normal.  You need to get some serious help.  Just think of how ridiculous (not funny) it would sound that someone took such serious action to one's self over hair loss.  Is that how you would want to be remembered?  You are a good looking guy, and in our opinion, very sharp with the sly side going for you.  Get some help and fast... seriously!

[Andy007]

i maybe have a solution now for my problem.

i always thought people wouldnt like me and wouldnt respect me coz of my hairloss. in fact i thought they would disrespect me. i thought so much about that , that it drove me crazy. you saw that.

now i want to stop these thougths and believe that i can make people to like me and to respect me. i need to just believe in that. and not think!!!!!!

actually thinking about things is the biggest problem in my life. i even think so much about my studies that i dont study. sounds stupid but it was like that in past.

i need to change this now. not think anymore but believe that i will be successfull.  with my studies and with people.

i thought so much about if people wouldnt like me with my bald head that i didnt even try if they would like me. i didnt go much out of the house the last week. 

now i need to change. believe that people will like me. and try it. find out if they actually do so.

thx for listening.

[Tyler]

Andy, believe it!  They will like you just the way you are; hair or no hair.

[warhawk]

andy.... remember 2 luv yourself 1st and foremost b4 even thinking 'bout other people liking u.  because if u don't luv yourself..... how can u expect 4 others 2 luv or like u. because if u luv yourself.... U WILL NEVER EVER TRY OR THINK ABOUT HURTING YOURSELF.... anyways... good 2 hear from u.  and keep us posted with everything.

WARHAWK

[Andy007]

its not that others dont like me. the problem is that i think that now where i show my thinning head that they now dont like me anymore. i think this. i just think it.

i think you only like yourself if others like you. you cant like yourself if EVERYbody else doesnt like you. then you automaticly start to hate yourself.

i got many problems in school and then in soccer club. i think this is where this fear comes from.

if i think about it i got the most fear in showing my new balding head to the guys in the soccer club and the people from my old school.

ya, that s the problem . i now need to start believing that they will like me. just for who i am.  like everyone says ....people like you for who you are and not for your hair.

i just need to stop thinking they already dont like me. maybe they wont like me .....thats possible. but i at least got to try it. and well, if they dont like me , i wont have something to do anymore with them. there are enough people who do like me and to who i can go and have fun with.

i just now need to stop these thoughts and go out on street and have fun and live life.

its simple now where i realize it.

i will post a new photo maybe today or tomorow. i dont smile at this photo i have in here and i look so bad...not ugly or this kind of bad, but BAD. like a bad boy.

i already made a new photo and i look much friendlier and even better on this one. anyway my hair has already grown a bit and you can call it buzz cut now .

good luck for all of you!

[Andy007]

there is my new photo!

i made an appointment. i will switch to another soccer club and leave the old shitty one. the people there just sucked.

i dont know if i wont have problems there in the new club but its worth a try.

anyway...i even maybe wont go to the school meeting . because the people from my old school didnt like me very much.

so i dont know yet, but maybe i wont even go there. i need to start a new life.

a life without this worrying about people laughing about me or making fun.  i need people in my life who like me and are friendy to me.

i already  feel much better now.

good luck to all of you!

[Andy007]

ok.....i fall back. sad to say, but it is like that.

i now know excaclty where these problems come from. did i tell you that i got problems in school?

well after it, i got problems too. it didnt stop. it just went better. but this of getting made fun of didnt stop. and sometimes people fun of me again. mostly not in a that bad way, but it hurts nonetheless.

i now have fear of everyone who ever made fun of me in my whole life.

i really got fear that now if i meet just one of such people they will laugh their ass off of me. they would make so nasty jokes about me. huh.

that are the thoughts i think.

remind that i...if you take a few exepctions out...always hided my balding. it started probably at 18. first i didnt really realize it coz i wear a long hair cut which i mostly did always before. it wasnt to hide the baldness. but it made me not realize that i was balding.

i just realized when i was 20. well it was bad already there ..now its better ....probably like it was with 19 1/2.

if i think back until 19 i had only temples and just then it started really bad.

whatever.

the problem is I ALWAYS hided it. there were like i said a few exeptions when i didnt hide it. mostly i didnt want this....i didnt want to show it.

i remember when i was 19 1/2. there a girl said to me "you are balding, how sweet". i was drunk there and i forgot about it.

that was the only , really the only time when anyone ever said anything about balding to me. never ever in anytime again anyone said anything (nice sentence lol).

ok, if i showed it to someone he/she said "ok yes, you are balding". but that were mostly only my parents.

because when i got my only balding comment i didnt realize it.......so i dont know the feeling getting told "you are going bald!".

i got so much fear of getting this told. i really think my life will be over by then.

stupid or weird or ill......whatever you want to call it.

well, the most fear i got from the people from my old school and from people from soccers club.

but  i even got fear of other people that they say something about my balding or that they make fun of me coz of it or that they react weird and unfriendly to me coz im balding.

so well.....the problem is I ALWAYS hided it. so you couldnt see it (ok i know if you woulda know about balding and things you maybe could *think* "oh he s balding and he is trying to hide it") . now where i write this, i wonder how many people in my life who have seen me have thought exactly this. haha. this may be. that some people already know that im balding.

hm.

well....to go on....this is the problem. for the most people it maybe now comes out of nothing that im balding.

so i got fear that they react negative on me. very negative. or that the people who already know im balding laugh their ass off or something like this.


thankfully i already got a plan. its this one.....

i will meet someone, a friend from university and i will ask him what he thinks about my new looks.

then tomorow i will go in soccer training again. i got probably the most fear of the people from my soccer club. any person once said something like "if you fear something, then do it and the fear will die a sure dead". is this speaking right???

actually i hope that in two days its over.

i mean the meeting with my friend will be nice and give me some confidence.....but what really counts is how the people in my soccer club will react. if that goes positive .....i hope im cured.

but only god knows......

any suggestions?

[Andy007]

well sad, this is getting a one wayer.  i write, noone writes back. 

well though maybe someone reads and answers to me. ?

i need to write this off my chest.....

maybe my mom didnt it make better when she told me i looked so bad when i hided my balding. i always thougth then.....if i look so ridiculous if i hide it ....how do i have to look if i show it? (in my mind i woulda looked so ridicoulus that i couldnt go on street anymore.......which i now dont do nearly)

even what didnt make it better was when on my school meeting the last year and the year before poeple made fun of another guy who is balding and who shaved it.

even what didnt make it better was when in my soccer club people made fun of the balding guys who were there.

yes...tough times.


this what im writing here all goes in my mind ......now i just realize it that it goes in my mind. before all was in my subsconcious mind. which didnt make it better coz well it was there. everything what is in your subsconcious mind plays a role.

so maybe you want to answer me??? or i need to call me little friend here.....  hehe

[Tyler]

If you really want to know what I think you should do, then here it goes.

I think you should get out the razor and shave ALL of your hair off your head.  Then, call up as many friends or people that you know and ask them to meet you tomorrow for coffee, or drinks, or something and tell them that you've been struggling with going bald and you think shaving your head is the solution.  Then ask them if they can support you with a shaved head.  Don't ask what they think of it, because they may not like it, but ask them to support you in having that style.

The reason that I say to shave all of your hair off is that it's HARDER to tell if you're balding or not with a shaved head, so that way all of the new people you meet won't know if you're balding or not.  They'll think because you're young you decided to shave your head on your own.

I really don't think you're going to get past all of this without having to confront the people you're so fearful of and learn that they are more fearful of what you think of them that worrying about what your hair looks like.

[Andy007]

come on my little friend.( )..beat them...they dont answer to me....

maybe my little friend needs to ask his little other friends .........here they come ....
 


oh oh....dont you get fear?  

answer to me!!!  

hehe

little joke ....  

ok....back to the toppic...

i think i have even so much fear of this coz my mom always told me when hided my balding "you see it, my son" "you can see it and you look so ugly when you hide it"

now i think "oh everyone knows im balding anyway" . "this will be a huge laugh off for them when they actually see me with my thinning head".

that s what i think. and that s why i got so many problems with my balding.

one side note: it has really absolutley nothing to do with women.....while some of you thought that.

in fact i even think or heard so often that women find balding or bald men attractive . so i actually think now i look better for women.

ya well i think women find me now more attractive than before.

but that doesnt count for me. a beautiful women in life would be like a consolation.
i think in my age women come and go. its nothing what you can count anything on.

im more worried about my future in terms of money and socially. that are very important things to get the women of your dreams at the right time. but im just too young for this.

im at the beginning. im not thinking about marriage yet. and what i do have if i now f**k 10 women a week? nothing . it comes and goes.

and then 10 years later i ask myself ....what did i do all the time??? fucked all those women and now im poor and bald and dont have anything.

ok that was off-topic.

i pretty much wrote everything.

now please answer me!!!  

[Andy007]

If you really want to know what I think you should do, then here it goes.

I think you should get out the razor and shave ALL of your hair off your head.  Then, call up as many friends or people that you know and ask them to meet you tomorrow for coffee, or drinks, or something and tell them that you've been struggling with going bald and you think shaving your head is the solution.  Then ask them if they can support you with a shaved head.  Don't ask what they think of it, because they may not like it, but ask them to support you in having that style.

The reason that I say to shave all of your hair off is that it's HARDER to tell if you're balding or not with a shaved head, so that way all of the new people you meet won't know if you're balding or not.  They'll think because you're young you decided to shave your head on your own.

I really don't think you're going to get past all of this without having to confront the people you're so fearful of and learn that they are more fearful of what you think of them that worrying about what your hair looks like.

good!

didnt i write that? i try to get some meetings today. and tomorow i will go to soccer club.

maybe i could ask people in the soccer club what they think of my buzzed head.

[Stu]

I agree with Tyler.  You need to just shave that head, talk honestly with your friends about what they think, and get on with your life.  You are not the only person in the world who has ever faced balding.  It's not a death sentence.  I think you have this feeling that everyone in the world has doomed your existence because you're losing some hair.  The truth is, the people you see in everyday life could not give a flying flip about your hair.  Everyone has problems, and most people don't have enough time to worry about someone else's issues.  The reason no one is is responding to you is that it is getting late here in the states (I should already be in bed), and you have been going on and on saying the same incoherent things for many days now.  Do what Tyler said, shave the head, confront your friends, and move on.  We're here to encourage you, but you have to do your part by taking a stand and making a decision.  Good luck!

[frank_m]

let me make sure I am understanding this correctly:

the issue is not the ladies,
but
the issue is more if people will discover that your hair is thinning and because of that you are worried they will not like you any more?

Are you concerned about being made fun of by members of your soccer club, and family?

[YOSP]

i think this is a horse that has been slaughtered, no offense Andy, but obviously we are trying to help and at the same time be objective...I don't think any response given is the answer you are going to be looking for.

I was in your shoes, honestly, I was thinning really bad at 23 and shaved my head, then decided to try ever medicine, or quick fix under the sun. I was in the military and couldn't wear a hat indoors when I was in uniform. I then joined the Hair Club and wore a wig for 7yrs, at first it was great, but then it got to be a hassle and very costly. Now I have been "sly" for 4 mos. and maybe because I am 31 I have matured and accepted my delt hand, but I do love my look and myself. I am marrying a beautiful woman in less than 40 days and I don't even concern myself about what my head/hair does, or doesn't look like...I was worrying so much that I started to be depressed and didn't know what to do, know, I may wear a hat once a month and only because I didn't have a chance to shave my head...talk about irony.

My point is, everything happens for a reason, this is easier said then done, but believe me buddy...YOU WILL BE FINE!!!!! Besides, in the long run, you don't want to be with a woman that judges you on your looks. You don't want to have to worry about if she is cheating or not because of YOU being insecure.

Life is tough bro, go to the gym, get your body and mind in shape, and the rest will follow, please don't do what I did and allow something as stupid as hair control your life.

I am here for you if you have more questions Andy.