Scared of going bald...

[tofur99]

online dating is NOT REALITY.  Okay?  It's a buffet of pictures, it allows you to be as picky as you can possibly be.  You also aren't meeting the person IN PERSON, where actual relationships and hook ups happen.  Its just a picture, and some words that usually don't get read.  There is no vibe there, no body language, conversation, nothing.  It's just a small piece of the puzzle.

Why wouldnt it be reality? I think it's actually even more realistic since in this context women are anonymous and truely speak their mind.

Also, I know the club scene pretty well, and it's even more brutal.

Vibe, body language, all that stuff is dependant on the halo effect, a hot shy guy is mysterious, his less attractive version lacks confidence, and so on. Those are the tests you can pass once you have passed the first test: LOOKS.

I just mentioned why it wouldn't be reality.  Its just a picture, you aren't just a picture right?  Your a dynamic human being that has to be appreciated in the flesh, in person.

Here's the truth man:  the inner affects the outer.  Your beliefs, opinions and stories, both about yourself and the world, come out in what people call your "vibe", and in your body language.  When your inner world is one of freedom and empowering/very un-limited beliefs, you automatically change externally to fit it, and the world starts relating to you differently as a result.  You can't fake the inner state it takes to authentically come across externally as confident, masculine, powerful, charismatic, relaxed, carefree, and so on.


This is where letting go of all this stuff is so powerful, and why being bald isn't the deal breaker most people choose to believe it is.  A bald guy who has a inner world filled with negative, defeatist, self loathing, extremely limited beliefs, isn't getting anywhere with anyone.  Neither is a massively attractive guy with a magnificent mane of hair.  I have heard this from women more than once, that they went from being potentially interested in a really attractive guy to downright repulsed in a matter of about a minute, the first minute they interacted.  The guys' vibe was awful, usually its because he was dull, he wasn't alive, engaged, he was bland, had nothing to offer besides his appearance.  Most likely from relying on his looks his whole life.  Lots of beautiful women fall in the same trap.  Hair and extreme good looks are no guarantee of anything besides a slightly raised default level of interest from women, and few men have both of those things so why worry about it anyway.

Walking into a club over flowing with authentic confidence, a rock solid belief that your perfect the way you are and you don't need anyones approval to allow you to feel that way and your ready to get this party started and help people have fun, is attractive.  Women take notice.  When your that kind of powerful guy, every trait of yours starts to turn into a positive.  All of a sudden being bald just add's to the effect, it makes you stand out even more, it makes you more interesting.  Girls will come up to you just to rub your head, it becomes an excuse to approach you. 

You can live an extraordinary life with a bald head, make no mistake.  It starts and ends with the inner world your living in.

[tofur99]

man.  You guys have really invested in being totally and completely miserable.  You do realize that, right?

scarecrow:  yeah dude, you didn't choose to go bald.  Obviously.  I didn't choose it either, also didn't choose the horrible acne.  Guess what?  It happened.  You can, from right now in this moment:

A: bitch and moan and play your little violin while wailing "woe is me", until you literally drop dead and cease to exist (or go to heaven if it exists, where God will promptly kick you in the shin and go "you idiot!" then give you a big hug or something, lol).  Thats option A.  Not particularly fun.  Not to mention the fun-sucking effect you will have on everyone you interact with, and you will inspire exactly 0 people in the process.

B: Let go of all the negative, suffering causing, un necessary beliefs that aren't even actually yours (you've just collected them from other people), and choose to respond in a freeing and empowering and inspiring way to the undeniable and unavoidable fact that your hair has decided to vacate your head.

Given those two options, which one you gunna choose?  Notice rugs and hair transplants and drugs that make you impotent are absent, they aren't viable options.  The day a legit cure comes out, I'll be first in line to get my hair back.  I might not even like it anymore, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.  Until then, I'm gunna rock what I've got and not let it slow me down from living my life the way I want to live it.

Raison: I didn't know the style guy exaggerated his stories.  That has nothing to do with his bald head and everything to do with what kind of human being he is, I was just making a point that a prominent pua is bald.

All PUA's are a joke. This industry is a scam, I can expose any of the top gurus for being a fraud who scams virgins but cant get laid with legit hotties when you want.

Your attitude makes a lot of sense and you are making the most of what you've got . I just can't let go though. At least you admit you'd love to see a cure on the market, even though this is not gonna happen any time soon.

I agree about the PUA's.  They're focused on the wrong things and in the wrong directions.

Yeah of course man, hair is nice to have.  You don't fully appreciate it until its gone.

You can let go, your just not.  If you sit quietly with yourself and really pose the question "could I just let go of all of this?" and sit with it, open yourself to the possibility of it.  If you could let it go, would you?  If you'd be willing to, when?  why not now, why wait?

[EarlBald]

Mike (E.P.), I completely agree with you (SlyMyke also).  I was depressed many years ago about losing my hair, but I got over it.  I know lots of men with shaved heads who are partnered--in fact, men with horsehoes!  I can't advise you how find a lover/partner, since I don't have one myself, but the first step is like and respect yourself.  If you don't do that, the only person you'll attract will be someone either very superficial or into dumping on you (after all, you're doing it to yourself!).  Stop reading the negative websites and look around this one.  It's a good group of people.  I know that you don't want to be bald (very few people do, altho some post messages here), but there are some things I'd like to change about myself.  I hope that I focus on the things I can control.  I'll never be swimmer like (or look like) Michael Phelps, but I'll play the cards I was dealt.