"Why did you shave your head?"

[Methadone]

Hi all,

I'm really glad I found this forum - I've discovered it at just the time in my life where I've decided to give up the fight against hair loss.  It's nice that there's a place where that is embraced.

Anyhow I've been pouring a great deal of time and effort over the past few years into maintaining my hair.  I'm 27 years old and my hair loss follows a pattern of gradual recession combined with diffuse thinning. 

I've been using Finasteride and Minoxidil, plus a regime of Toppik and various thickening potions every morning.  As with all men who chose to hide hair loss, I lived in ever increasing fear of windy days, sudden rainfall, wearing hats, to say nothing of swimming or sweating or anything else that might disrupt the delicate ecosystem of pseudo-hair atop my skull.

It all becomes a bit absurd, if you think about.  To have the range of one's freedoms so severely curtailed for such a ridiculous aesthetic purpose.  Why must I plan my day around avoiding weather.  Why should a day at the beach inspire dread instead of revelry?  Why should I spend hundreds of dollars squirreling away hair products and applying them in carefully arranged rituals every morning?  The secrecy, the rituals, irrational fears, the money being wasted, it's rather like an addiction if you think about it; life's too short.

Well like the others on this site, I've had enough of this and three days ago I broke down and shaved it all off.  I went down to a #1 guard on my clippers, and this is precisely the same guard I use on my beard, so there's a nice transition.   I'm pretty happy with how it looks: certainly my skull is a nice shape, and I certainly appreciate the dignity of this approach.  The time I've saved in my routine is substantial, the fear of rain and hats is gone (just in time for winter!), and soon I'll also appreciate the money savings.  The peach fuzz-like hair on the top of my head makes for a notable transition where it meets the thicker hair on the back and sides of my head.  I don't necessarily want to go fully sly, as I like a bit of texture and having something to connect my beard to.  I may go #0 on my next shave, however.

What sucks though? Well I guess I must have been doing a good job hiding my hair loss, because many people in my day to day life are utterly baffled by my choice to cut my hair.  Since they don't know the enormous hassle I've subjected myself to in order to maintain that illusion for so many years (and I don't care to admit it to anyone), all they see is a self-destructive act on the part of a reasonably hirsute young guy.  The alternative would be for everyone to tell me something to the effect of "finally", as though my attempts at concealing my dilemma had been making everyone uncomfortable for many years.  I suppose that's not a great option either.

I guess I'm just frustrated that I cannot simply cut off my hair scraps, begin the process of getting comfortable with "the new me", and enjoy all the benefits without people asking me why I did it, or outright telling me that it's a mistake/downgrade. 

I think that people don't really understand where bald people come from - they assume that anyone who is bald was born that way, and that there's no such thing as a guy who loses his hair relatively quickly and has to make a sharp transition between the two life stages.  But letting my hair fade away naturally was not an option, because the diffuse thinning was already well on its way to reducing my remaining hair to little more than peach fuzz. 

Anyhow it's only day 3, and I know my situation will improve day to day.  But it's just not been a fun transition, especially in late autumn when there's not too many good 'excuses' for shaving.

Thanks for reading this whole thing.  I've found this forum to be very supportive even though this is my first time posting anything.

[slymyke]

Welcome, Methadone!   (First question:  Are you a Breaking Bad fan?)   lol

Congratulations on being free from the hair issues and chemicals.  Now, it seems that you are faced with the peanut gallery.  Funny thing is, they were the ones you may have been trying to avoid all this time by covering up the balding.  They just don't go away.  The good thing is you can just tell them that you shaved your head because you like the look.  Why did each of them chose their hair styles?..... they liked the look.   So it is believable--especially if you really do like the look.  Just be confident, don't waiver or give them any reason to doubt you.  Own the look and be proud.  If you feel it, they will see it.  They won't need to ask you again.

[TheSlyBear]

"Because I wanted to. How about them Red Sox?"

Congrats on achieving your freedom.

[Mike E. P.]

"Because I wanted to" is exactly what I thought ,too. Don't let them convince you that buzzing your head was a downgrade! And those knucklehead comments will stop quickly.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome aboard! You must be doing something right if so many people want to comment on your hairstyle...

[waine]

Hello there

Why do men have crew cut hairstyles? LOL

(To think, I used to...years ago!

[Laser Man]

The change in your appearance may have come as a surprise to them and it's natural to ask why you did it.  You will get the same question when you run into someone you haven't seen in a while.  A simple answer is, "I wanted a change."  You really don't have to apologize or justify why you did it. 

If you like how you look, that's all that matters.  Don't let the questions worry you.  After a fairly short periodof time, the questions stop and people adjust to your changed appearance.

 

[Methadone]

Welcome, Methadone!   (First question:  Are you a Breaking Bad fan?)   lol

Congratulations on being free from the hair issues and chemicals.  Now, it seems that you are faced with the peanut gallery.  Funny thing is, they were the ones you may have been trying to avoid all this time by covering up the balding.  They just don't go away.  The good thing is you can just tell them that you shaved your head because you like the look.  Why did each of them chose their hair styles?..... they liked the look.   So it is believable--especially if you really do like the look.  Just be confident, don't waiver or give them any reason to doubt you.  Own the look and be proud.  If you feel it, they will see it.  They won't need to ask you again.

Thanks for the advice.  It really is helpful getting these issues off my chest, even though they're hardly unique to my situation.

Incidentally, I chose my nickname partly because I work in the addictions field, and I couldn't help but draw some parallels with my own hair-related rituals and the behavior I see in people with addictions.  There's obviously a major difference between the real problems caused by addiction that I would never want to downplay, and the mostly imaginary problems caused by hiding hair loss.  Still, there are some similarities. 

People nursing an addiction develop all sorts of odd, secret behaviors.  They spend excessive cash on their habit, they go to great lengths to conceal it and give the appearance of normality, and they risk their own health in the pursuit of the habit.  By all accounts, giving up hair potions and powders is a great deal easier than giving up drugs, gambling or alcohol, but the process is nevertheless a bit traumatic (and people hardly give you as much credit).  Anyhow, just some idle reflections on the matter. 

[slymyke]

You have an interesting perspective there.  I hadn't really thought of it that way too much.  I never really did anything about my hair loss earlier, but I do understand how that could seem parallel to a drug addiction in the sense of behaviors exhibited in the compulsive effort to get a "fix" or in the case of hair... a "fix", meaning fix your hair to look normal. 

I can, however, still identify with how the psychological tolls of hair loss can mess with your brain in the way that drugs can.  Maybe not in an addictive way, but in a way that damages you.  The good news is that it can be turned around with the freedom of buzzing or shaving ones hair to feel the sense of control. 

I'm glad you shared your story, and hope that your transition period gets better so you can enjoy your new look.  Keep us informed of your journey.  I think you will be able to help others realize the freedom is great. 

[ScribeGuy]

"Because I wanted to. How about them Red Sox?"

Congrats on achieving your freedom.

"Because I wanted to" seems like a pretty damn fine answer to me!

Congrats on taking the plunge! Don't worry what others think. If you're happy with going "sly," then that's what's important.

[Methadone]

It's actually been a very quick road from people pointing out the change to nobody really caring, which is exactly how I like it.  By Friday it'll have been a full week, and I'll have seen probably 90% of the people I see on a regular basis.  After the one week mark I think it'll feel pretty natural (though it may take me a while to get used to how I look).

Some things I've enjoyed since shaving:
- Rode my bike to work in the rain.  I stopped doing this ages ago for what I now see were silly reasons.
- Showering and leaving the house much quicker than usual.

Ok that's not too many things, but I live a pretty boring life..

[Laser Man]

People are busy with their lives, so while they may comment at first, they move on pretty quickly.  Taking time to adjust to you new appearance is natural, too. 

[Methadone]

The one week mark slid by this Friday.  So far so good!  I'm actually down to using my clippers with no guard (and the blade advanced as far as possible).  A fully smooth dome may well be in my future, but one step at a time.  I'm still trying to get the beard/head length ratio where I like it.  Thank goodness for beards.

Anyhow, everyone except me seems completely used to it.  I am getting there, but it depends on my mood, lighting, and whatnot.  I really wish I had started shaving in the summer so I could have enjoyed swimming and sitting in the sun..

[Blitzed]

The television station I then worked for encouraged all of the anchors to think of something we could do to up our ratings during "Sweeps Week". That was the order on Friday....no problem...I went home, waited until 'Sunday night, shaved my head and snuck into the station JUST before air time early Monday morning. We got the ratings and I caught hell from the manager. Calmly, I explained that it had been her idea to "do something to get attention during Sweeps....and I had. I just kept it shaved and that was over 16 years ago.

[Timmer]

I've been buzzed down to no guard many times in my USAF Career.  As my hair thinned more and my forehead got bigger, I decided I'd rather be bald than balding.