"Follow Forum Protocol & Rules"? Why?

[buddha]

The title of this thread is a question I have been asking myself almost since my first day on SBG. I regarded it as a conspiracy to rob me of my 1st amendment rights run by Tyler and the Mods. Some days I bore resentments about mods getting involved in a thread to keep us all on track. I could not figure out the why of this. Why do I have to be told that I can't discuss religion or politics on this forum? Why can't I use profanity on this forum? I mean we're all adults, right? WTF?

Not long ago I became a member of another forum that is not related to the topic of headshaving (I won't say which forum just because I don't want to poison the water). On that forum there are no such control mechanisms. I remember thinking to myself that this new forum is going to be way better than SBG with the nosy mods always getting involved in the threads. Not having been involved in many forums in the time I have been using the internet I had no way of knowing what I was about to experience.

I gotta tell ya, bald bros, that I never in my life experienced this level of bitterness and negativity and this includes 20 years of police work. As a member of this "other" forum I was personally attacked for certain opinions that I wrote in threads, I saw other people attacked, I saw what basically amounted to hate speech directed at particular groups by members of the forum and after a while it got so damn depressing that I simply withdrew. I don't mind a little verbal jousting with another writer but this was way over the line. I mean some of the stuff that was written in threads from one member to another was pretty innocuous until I wondered what my reaction would be if my phone rang at 3am and the person on the other end of the line said some of the things that were contained in threads in that other forum. I mean a threat in a forum or social network is pretty lame in terms of the actual threat posed. Probably 100% of the people writing that crap wouldn't know where to find their target to begin with, PLUS, it's easy to talk big when you're hiding behind your keyboard. Regardless, reading this same mean-spirited crap day after day just got to be overload for me and I left it alone.

So, to Tyler and all the mods; you guys were right all along. I guess the "why" of following the rules is the reason that I've stuck with SBG as long as I have and will continue for as long as I can. You guys have my absolute permission to censor me any time I get out of line. It will bother me until I remember my experience with the other forum. You guys do a great job and thanks to all the mods for keeping an eye on @$$holes like me. Tyler, thanks for setting up a safe environment for all of us to converse in friendly terms about this topic.

I'm glad I came here. 

[geeman]

Great post Buddha, and you've summed up what helps make this forum great, its full of like minded people

[Marshal S.]

Like Buddha, I too think healthy discussion and disagreement is a good thing.  Bad ideas, poor logic, etc, does not mean stupid, ignorant, BAD people. 
I have had the opposite experiences on some fora wherein they were so tightly controlled, moderated, and policed that one scarcely said anything for fear of being chastened for it.  I stopped going to those too; because, the discussion wasn't interesting and "none but one" opinion can be heard.  Most threads contained more about how offensive posts were than about the topic at hand.

It's about balancing discussion with dialogue.  I think there is an amenable balance here.  Nothing is perfect, but for the most part we act like we like each other.  That's probably the best we can do.

[buddha]

I have had the opposite experiences on some fora wherein they were so tightly controlled, moderated, and policed that one scarcely said anything for fear of being chastened for it.  I stopped going to those too;

I can see the need to leave a forum like that. I haven't done so many yet that I've run into one of those but I'm sure it would be a major pain.

[Cave Dweller]

Excellent post, Buddha.

I also have been on boards that had every discussion degrade into a political snipe fest no matter what the original topic might have been. I didn't stay long.

I like it here.

[schro]

Good post, Buddha.
I've always enjoyed reading your posts.

The Mods try and wear their Mod hats as little as possible because, like everyone else, we're SBG members too! It really takes a lot more than members think to necessitate any action taken by a Mod. I'm not a member of any other forum, but have seen some of the vicious things people say to & about each other on these other forums. No thanks.

[tomgallagher]

Well said Buddha. I have always been of the attitude that it's "his house, his rules" and that has always worked out in the end.

[wpruitt]

Great post.  It's nice to have some positive recognition

[Magoo]

Buddha , right on !   Freedom is a great thing but some rules must be established . Complete freedom will eventually only cause chaos .  

[Mikekoz13]

Nice post Buddha.

As Mods we try to let discussions have some life, even if there is disagreement. We're humans, sometimes we disagree. Also, I always say that the written words on a Forum can be easily misconstrued because you aren't face to face with the other person to see body language or hear nuances in a voice.

There is very often off the main Forum discussion by the Mods about topics that might be on the edge of the rules, or a member that might be a bit too aggressive, or even a member that is just a general problem. I've said this in the Forum in the past but I will repeat it here....No member is EVER banned without discussion by the Mods AND multiple discussions and/or warnings to that member.

We usually let topics that skirt the rules proceed as long as they do NOT become a problem.

When I first became a Mod I was surprised at the amount of things being talked about by the Mods behind the scenes. It's not every day or all the time but it's probably more than most would think.

Some days being a Mod is just no fun. Some guys can just be difficult to deal with and no matter how gently a Mod tries to handle a situation there is just no way for that Mod to make peace with that guy. I've seen this happen more than a few times over the years and it usually leaves a bad taste with the Mod. Those members usually wind up gone at some point... sometimes on their own and some times with some help from a Mod.

I've also seen several Mods personally attacked over the years. Even then we try to make things work out but again, that can be difficult.

Anyway....  if you're having a tough day with a Mod, contact him by PM and talk about. The Mods are all great, very reasonable guys. You know..... we're Mods but we are humans so even one of us can have a bad day.

I had a spat with a fairly long time member a while back and if I remember correctly he even left the Forum for a short time. I felt bad about this because I was pretty sure he left because of our spat. He came back and he usually gives nice advice to guys... I was glad to see him back and giving good advice again. I PM'd him and told him I was glad he came back.

He recently gently called me out on something and I realized he was correct and I thanked him. I'm sure he'll know I'm talking about him when he reads this. My point? About anything can be fixed with some decent civil discussion.

So....... carry on Gentlemen! And thanks again Buddha.

[Laser Man]

This is a good thread with great posts.  I've noted several times that SBG is like a neighborhood bar (unfortunately minus the beer! ) where people of all backgrounds and views can mingle without any hassles.  I think that's due in large part to the great job the mods do to keep things on track.

[Sir Harry]

Buddha, thanks for reminding us why this forum, IMO, is head and shoulders above many others.

[Tyler]

Buddha, thank you for your post.  When I started this forum in 2006 I spent 3 days reading various websites on how to run a forum and the number one rule they all said was that if the forum is not a political or religious forum, then don't allow politics or religion on the forum.  For the most part we have done that and have fostered a very positive environment here. 

As we can see, there's always people that will disagree, but I'm happy to say that has been in the majority over the years.  If anyone ever has an issue with any of the mods, they can always PM me directly.  None of us are perfect and we don't get it right 100% of the time, but we do our best to make things right when we can. 

[-Doug-]

Great post Buddha! This is one of the only site that I've joined and stay with for so long. It's because of what you said that I've stayed around.