Balding at 18

[DRW]

Hi, i am new to this site but have been reading posts for a couple hours now and thought i'd share my story...

Last year (last year of highschool) in april i think, i really noticed how much my hair had been falling out and thinning so i decided to buzz it to a 2 so that i could shave everything off a little bit after. I thought it was an okay idea at the time but i didnt know how bad i was, when i went to school the next day people were'nt very into it to say the least. It was way more noticeable than i expected. I must've been thinning since grade 10ish i just didnt think anything of it. So basically the problem i had was that all of highschool i was super shy and quiet, especially around girls. In grade 12 i finally started being myself more and being more social but then that happened. Even with the noticeably bald hair i kept my head high and acted like i didnt care. But now its starting to catch up with me. I was planning on taking rogaine after i buzzed but i read that not only does it rarely work, but the first month or so you shed like crazy- and i had prom coming up. After that i kept having excuses, i started talking to a really cute girl and now we've been going out for almost 2 months and i still havent used it. I'm afraid of her seeing me with a horseshoe- i know she wouldnt just leave me right there and then, but shes just so pretty im afraid she'll have thoughts about it and i dont want that. Not only that, but now because i procrastinated so much and its gotten pretty bad i dont even think theres a point to using rogaine.

I've read your posts and i know you'll say to shave.. but the problem is i dont really want to. Not just because of what other people think of me ().. but more so the fact that i actually LIKE my hair, i feel/felt more comfortable with my hair. I wouldnt mind shaving it if i was older, but im only in first year university.

So please, i have been struggling with self-esteem issues all throughout highschool but am slowly getting better. I feel if i lose all my hair ill be more self-conscious than ever. I posted some photos, they"re a lil blurry cuz i took it on my blackberry so keep that in mind. What i ask is if someone can please recommend what i should do. I know a lot of people are going to say shave it, but the truth is bald doesnt suit every person. and im afraid i might be that guy. I would like to keep my hair so if someone knows how much treatments costs or some magical pill that solves all my problems let me know lol. Or if someone can tell that its too late to do anything, please give me some advice on how i should go about shaving everything. Thank you so much for reading 

[DRW]

sorry my pics were to big to attach apparently, so i just put the picture as my display pic

[Razor X]

I'm not really sure what you want us to tell you. You don't want to shave, so the only other alternative is to closely buzz whatever hair doesn't fall out. There is no magic solution to halt or reverse the MPB process. Sorry!

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome, DRW.

Razor X is correct. There is no "magic pill" to solve your problems or to cure baldness. I would not expect to get many endorsements of stuff like Rogaine on this board.

You have a pretty full head of hair right now, so as I see it, you have three options:

     1) Do nothing and let nature take whatever its course may be with your hair, enjoying it while you have it.

     2) Start on the Rogaine and hope for the best, keeping in mind that the most it might provide is a temporary fix.

     3) Jump ahead and shave or buzz everything off now so there is nothing left to worry about falling out.

My personal choice would be the first option. (Surprise!)

From what little I know of those topical medications, they will cause the shedding you mentioned. Although I do not believe they are worth the trouble, if you really are serious about using the Rogaine or whatever, then you probably should start as soon as possible for it to have a better effect - if it works at all for you. My opinion is that you should be honest with your young lady and explain to her what you intend to do. You might be surprised how she feels about it. She probably already knows you have thinning hair and a balding area, but doesn't see it as a problem for her or for you.

In any case, YOU are the one who has to stay in control of who you are and how you see yourself. In other words, you need to see your hair for the superficial thing it is. Sure, it is not fun to lose your hair (mine started at seventeen, so I know a little of how you feel) but it really will not be an issue in your life unless you allow it to be.

[LOKI1978]

One might say that your options (from what I can perceive your point of view) are bad and worse.  It is difficult to lose your hair when you are young. Like many of the posters here, I too started loosing my hair in high school and it was a painful process.  You still have a lot of hair compared to most men, more than most who shave their head due to MPB.  In college, or the work force, your hair loss may not seem as bad in comparison with the older people that you will inevitably be surrounded by. 

On the other hand, you may find that you look good with a shaved head and you can rid yourself of the insecurity and constant worry about losing your hair by simply accepting being bald (shaving your head). The social stigma for shaving your head has all but disappeared. Women will still find you attractive.  You will likely gain confidence.   

Rogain, Propecia, and other hair prevention products may help, at least for a while. But there is a very high likelihood that you will continue to lose your hair, though perhaps more gradually. 

In summary, you still have hair and don't "have" to shave your head. Nonetheless, shaving your head may liberate you from some of the insecurity and low self-esteem that often accompanies premature hair loss.  Being bald in your 20s is much better than being bald in your teens. Being bald in your 30s is even better.  Hang in there.

[Mike E. P.]

You said it yourself.  You don't really want to shave it right now. And you like your hair. Your self esteem is getting better.  You've got this girlfriend who doesn't seem to care about your hair.  I'd keep smiling - keep working on keeping the girlfriend happy.  Focus on what's good.

You can always shave your head later on and you will most likely look good and feel liberated.  But right now, it doesn't seem like that's a step your ready to take - or need to take.

[Marshal S.]

If I understand you correctly, you want someone to tell you it's going to be all right.  It is.  Losing your hair is not the worst thing to happen to you, and it won't be the only problem you'll encounter as you enter adulthood.  
Now, there is no magic bullet.  If there were, people would use it.  You will have to accept that in this case biology is destiny.  But, you have years to go, not months or weeks so it will be OK to take some time to deal with the real issue here which is self esteem.  Without that, nothing you do will make you feel any better.  You have to "accept the things you cannot change" and be all right with them--you have years to do this.
You don't want to shave your head?  Don't do it.  There is no requirement that people with MPB shave their heads.  If you're curious about how you will look, then shave your head sometime and see.  It is important that you do want you want to do.  Hair grows and it will be back if you do not like what you see.  
People who really care about you may rib you at first, but it won't change how they feel about you.  Those that let your outward appearance influence the relationship with you are not your friends.  Pay them no mind.

[Cris]

Rogaine does absolutely nothing.
The only approved treatment is Finasteride and I can swear to you: it does not do miracles, ok?
I know it because my father is taking it for prostatic Hyperplasia.
The dose reccomended for balding people is 1mg/day
The dose recomended for P.I. is 5mg/day.
So my father takes five times the dose used to cure balding.
in spite of this: minimal improvements.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome and good luck.

[g_bald]

I generally offer the advice to shave it and try it. It's just a style. However...

In your case you have thick hair almost everywhere, and you like it so my advice is to keep it in whatever style you like. Enjoy life and time with your girlfriend. You don't need to take this on now, you're young and you should enjoy life.

I would stay away from products to 'cure' MPB, they often can produce unintended side-effects.

If you like the buzz look, go for it. If you like it longer, go for it. If you want to go smooth, go for it. The choice is up to you and you should be happy. My advice is to keep it in a way that makes you happy.

I got advice to shave it long before I did. You'll get great advice here no matter what you decide. The # 1 goal here is to support each other and provide the best advice we can!

And...before I forget... Welcome !!!

[andrewswenson]

There are bald men EVERYWHERE nowadays. If you pay attention the next time you're in public, odds are you'll see at least a few. It's a very accepted norm in our society and it's true that men are losing their hair at younger ages and in higher numbers. But it's alright, really. It's only hair man. Women don't care as much as we think. People in general don't care about the way we look as much as we think they do. People are in their own heads, in their own worlds, living their own life and thinking of a lot more important things than inspecting every aspect of you when they pass you in the grocery store, class, whatever. It's no big deal man so try not to let it eat away at you.

I would say if you've already tried going down to a #2 with the buzzer, go for the #1 and see how it looks and feels. If you like it better, then leave it. If not, just take off the guard and go as close as you can go with the buzzer. You definitely won't notice it as much as a #2 length and it will prepare you for when you do decide to shave it with a razor.