Hi guys, I'm Jay. Just want to start by saying you've done a great job with the forum. I think if I'd found this a couple of years ago it would have made life a lot easier!
A little about me.. I started receding when I was about 16. At first, it was a very slow process and I didn't really have to do too much to hide it- but by the time I was 20/21 it had gotten to the point where I was getting very depressed about the situation. As most have probably done at some point, I went through the phase of trying to cover up my hairline, thinking I'd never suit being bald, thinking my head wouldn't be the right 'shape', and spent an awful lot of time and money on hair products.
I would not leave the house until every strand of hair was meticulously positioned and I felt comfortable (if that was even possible), but it was very costly - and not just financially. I used so much hairspray to keep my hair in place that if you touched any part of my hair, the whole lot would move. It was like concrete. If anybody touched my hair, I would completely flip, and going out in rain/snow/wind without either a hood or umbrella was a no-no. It took over my life so much, that I was late for work many times due to my hair not setting right - even after an hour of trying. It got so bad that I lost my job because of it.
I had the same issue when it came to women, and though it didn't stop me from meeting them and getting into relationships, how I managed to hide my insecurity baffled me. They couldn't touch my hair, unless it was at the back where they couldn't mess up my fringe. I wouldn't let them see me fresh out of the shower, and always avoided situations involving getting my head wet like swimming etc. I started wearing hats quite a lot, and would only take it off if I could sneak away to a mirror first to make sure I sorted out my hair. It literally invaded every part of my life, my self esteem all but disappeared and I would actually end relationships out of fear that they'd find out, think I was going to turn into some disgusting bald monster, and leave me first.
When I met this particular girlfriend in 2010, it was the same story - I hid it. After about 5 months, I got to the point where I felt comfortable enough with her to let her in on my dark secret. I wasn't too surprised to find that she didn't care, even though I did. She was very supportive, and I managed to relax the procedure of hiding it quite a bit. Finally after a long talk, I decided that if she wasn't bothered about it then I shouldn't be either - as her opinion mattered and others didn't (which looking back on, I know I shouldn't have depended on). We went to a barber, and I had it taken down to about 1/4 inch. It looked completely horrendous, as it made the recession even more obvious, and just didn't look right at all. So I went further, down to 1/8. At that point I was quite happy so I kept it for a while, but it gradually began to get on my nerves as the recession progressed more.
Ultimately, I went out and bought some clippers, and went for a zero. I haven't looked back since (I'm 24 now). The relief of finally finding out that I could be at peace with myself was like the world being lifted off my shoulders. I felt fresh, and free. We didn't stay together, and I'll admit I did wonder if I'd find someone else who would appreciate me as I was. I tried not to let it take over my mind, and by keeping positive about it I have found that it has made little difference when it comes to attracting women. Some have loved it, some have ridiculed me for it, some couldn't care less.
My longer than expected story aside, the reason why I ended up on here is because a few nights ago while out with my friend, who happens to be bald also (though he is black), we met a couple of women and had a great night, however at the end of the night something baffled me - when we all parted ways, one of the girls gave my friend a hug and said 'Bye Dee', but when she hugged me she said (in a playful way mind) 'Bye baldy'. This begged the question, why is it that a white male who is bald is cause for a comment like that, yet a black male who is bald is just.. well.. a black male?
Anyway sorry if this is too long for a first post! Hope I can offer help to anyone, particularly young chaps who are going through anything I have described, and look forward to getting some tips myself!
Welcome, Jay!
A lot of us went through MPB starting in our teens. We can empathize. Glad you got past it.
I would take the "Baldy" comment as a good thing. Sounds to me like she was flirting with you.
Welcome, Jay.
Good story. I agree with Cave Dweller...she was probably flirting with you. It sounds like she knew your friend pretty well, and called you baldy because she may have already forgotten your name, but wanted to say something "cute".
Welcome to the bald show !