Wary of dramatic change

[Kaidik]

Hey guys,
I'm a 22yo male and for a few years now I've been in and out of a state of denial regarding my MPB. I've been to these forums a few times to lurk but I figured I would post to ask for specific advice.
I've had long hair since 7th grade, at times reaching below my nipple line. I've gone through all of my defining teenage years with long hair and it has become a large part of my identity for myself and for my friends and family. I started to notice thinning of my hairline some time during highschool but have sought comfort in denial.

Now I think I'm ready to face reality. My hair is currently about shoulder-length and I wear it tied back, but my ever-growing forehead probably doesn't make this a very good look. The easiest solution, I think, would be to go all out with a clean shave. This can be a big change for any guy, as I'm sure you all know, but for me its a complete switch from one extreme to the other.
I've been reluctant to cut my hair at all, even to a more "normal" shorter style because I just don't know how I look without long hair anymore.

So, my question is: should I bite the bullet and go all the way or should I try for an intermediate and see how I look with a normal short style?

[Hingatao]

After having long hair for so long, it might be easier for you to make the change in stages. Go for something collar length first. It'll be less traumatic and less of a shock for your family and friends. If anyone asks questions you'll have two options: say that it was time for a change or man up and admit the truth. There's no shame in either answer.

Personally I had shoulder length hair all through high school and for several years afterward. I loved it. Even after my hair started going grey I always felt I'd rather have a full head of grey hair than no hair at all. Problem was, I also suffered from severe chronic dandruff. That was a big factor in my decision to go sly. I've been sly for 15 months now and I'm convinced I'll be staying this way. Now that I look back on things I can't understand how I or any other guy could ever be so emotionally attached to hair.

Here's another point to consider: whether you go for shorter hair or the sly look, if you don't like it your hair will grow back.

[TheSlyBear]

Personally, I think you should go whole hog, and here's why: If something as superficial as your hair is the defining part of your identity, then it's time to get rid of it so you can concentrate on establishing your identity using something less superficial and fleeting.

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, but do you want to be "that guy with the long hair" or "that guy who's great because _________" (fill in the blank with the character trait that you want to be known for).

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome, Kaidik!

The element missing from your post/question is what you want to do.

If you came here wondering how you would look or what it would be like to be smooth, then I am not one to advocate an "easing into it" period. I say you only will really know if you just go ahead and do it.

You already are sporting a hairstyle that is somewhat outside the norm for most men, so going to another extreme (long hair to no hair) will fit right in with that. It also will be a great cover for your intention to disguise your thinning locks, if you don't want to say anything about it.

In any case, do whatever you want to do. It's only hair, and people will adapt to your new look very quickly.

[Mike]

I say razor it. You have long hair now which some consider an 'extreme' hairstyle. If you keep your hair in a tight ponytail. you can already see your headshape. Looking at yourself face-on, it won't be too much of a difference. People will ask and you can tell them you were tired of the maintenance and having a different hairstyle than the other 'normal' guys is your thing.

 Just my thoughts...

[Timmer]

Your head, your choice.  Make a decision.  Act on that decision.  Accept whatever the outcome is.  If you do shave it, try it for 30 days.  If you don't like it, you can always let it grow again. 

[Sir Harry]

Welcome! We actually have had members with long hair shave it out of the blue, and most enjoyed it. Give it a try; unlike, say, tattoos, a shaved head doesn't have to be permanent. As the others said, you can grow it back if you don't like it. Good luck!

[stasiu]

welcome to sbg ! change is good !  go sly smooth and donate your hair to locks of love ...
http://www.locksoflove.org/donate.html

[mrzed]

If you go in stages, you'll go through the adjustment and comments phase multiple times.  Going straight to a bald head is pretty drastic change, and it will take you and others a little time to adjust!  But that's OK.  You would be bound to get comments from most people, so be prepare with a <1 minute answer (elevator speech), about why you shaved your head.  It will take less than the 30 day rule for most people to adjust to your new look.  Might take you a bit longer to realize that the good looking bald guys is really you. 

Bald is so easy to take care of. No need for shampoos.  Once you get going, the head shave will get down to about 5 minutes of self pamper time each morning. Find some nice fragrance you like to top it off.  Pinaud Clubman or Calvin Klein Eternity.  Or scented oils/sugar scrubs to sooth the skin and give a shiny look.

[g_bald]

When I was in school years and years ago, I had longish shaggy hair and one day during the summer I went down to the barber and asked for a crew cut. It was great, even though rather shocking.

I let it grow in and out for a while but always went back to the short buzz cut. It was like an old friend. When I moved out on my own I took the clippers to my head again and buzzed my hair off.

I never regretted buzzing it, until the day I went sly. Then I was like 'I shoulda manned up years ago...' and I love it smooth.

If you are really concerned, I agree with stasiu, shave it for Locks of Love. That is an awesome charity. Then you have something to make people pat you on the back and smile knowing you helped out people in need.

Good luck !!!

[isleepinthebuff]

I would suggest you do it slowly, it will help you to adjust to the change, plus the different styles will help you to see what works for you and what doesn't. It'll help your confidence to grow, or it will show you to go the whole way if you want.

If you have long hair, a charity will still benefit from you having a short back and sides.

Good luck

[jarheadj]

I'm gonna say to just go for the shave. There's a huge rush that goes with sitting in the barber's chair with a long head of hair and having it taken to the skin and if you do donate it to Locks of Love, then you're doing a great thing for others. Again, I know there is a HUGE trepidation to make such a drastic change but in the end, you'll learn a lot about yourself as a person and that your hair doesn't define you. As previously stated, if you don't like it, it'll grow back out. I've shaved and grown my hair back out dozens of times in my life..it's nothing but a thing...

[mrzed]

Been giving your post some thought.  If you LOOK like you are loosing your hear, I'd suggest going bald in a single swipe. Who wants to look balding for an extended period of time.

If you don't look like you're going balding, then A more gradual approach world work. That's the route I took.  Not balding at all, I just went for shorter and shorter haircuts over about 5 years.  Switching to an IT job, most of the guys around me had pretty short hair, and many of them buzzed their heads. So I move to the norm for my work group.  The shorter it got, the better I liked it.  Now I'm bald. They all still have short hair, but I really like the bald look. 

Post back and let us know what you're thinking today.

[Blitzed]

As everyone else has said, slow the pace of the change to allow you, and those around you, to adjust. However, I'm concerned that you write that as a child in the eighth grade your hair defined you and that it still does. My concern is that even recognizing that removing it will be a shock, you may yearn for it and what it was for a long time. I'm serious when I say that if this is as deeply seated (I almost made a faux pas and said "rooted".) as you suggest, you may wish to find professional counseling.

I was one of those who had a full head of hair and, in my late fifties, shaved it. People around me were shocked, horrified but I was unmoved, unaffected. That was more than fifteen years ago and I do not regret my decision. What I learned and you will as well is that over not too long  a time, others, particularly those you've yet to meet, will accept the lack of hair as your "normal" and would be surprised if you grew back less than you once had.

[isleepinthebuff]

I do think it's very different for someone shaving with MPB to a full head of hair. if you have a full head of hair, it's a hair cut - your hair is going to grow back if it doesn't work and it's not an issue. Chossing to be bald and losing your hair are two different sides of the same coin.

With MPB  you shave it off but even to a 0, your hair loss in some ways becomes more apparant because you can see the hairline more (which is why razoring is often a better option) so unless you're fully confident then the extreme change can be daunting . But the growing back part is never easyfor someone with MPB  - it doesn't grow how you wanted to. I shaved my head to see if it would look better, grew it but it then showed the MPB more, the sides grew faster than the top so it acceentuated my MPB. Therefore it's worth taking time to consider, unless you're at a stage where you hair looks so bad, then I'd say shave it