Thinking About Shaving My Head - need advice

[BrianFromCalifornia]

Hi Everyone,

Haven't posted in a while as my wife has been struggling through chemo for her breast cancer and it's been a long road.  We're just about done with the chemo now and her hair is starting to grow back in.  I'm still thinking about whether to take off the "system" and shave off what's left as this is a good time as I could tell people that I shave it off to support my wife and make it a little less awkward.  My hair stylist is being very supportive and gave me some interesting ideas that could make the transition easier.  One idea was a spray of some sort that would "simulate" hairs growing and look like I have a buzz cut rather than being completely bald. Are there sprays like this? I don't have much real hair left so I find it hard to believe I could spray something on my head and have it look like a real buzz cut. Just wondering what others think ... 

[Frontier Guy]

I think anything fake (sprays, systems, etc.) will be detectable.

Seize the opportunity and simply go Sly all the way.

I think you will be incredibly surprised how much better you feel once you are being honest about your hair, and no longer worry about all the effort required to maintain the facade.

If you haven't, read the 30 Day Rule topics (there are lots of them) for some great personal stories which provide a lot of encouragement and support. And post back here as well for anything you need.

[BrianFromCalifornia]

I've looked into the scalp tattoo option to try to simulate hair after I shave and I have concerns about it. It is somewhat permanent and doesn't look as good on pale skin folks like me. And not sure it will look natural close up. I'm moving back to the idea of just shaving it. But considering a transplant to at least give me the appearance of having some hair.  Have others done a transplant before starting to shave? Is that crazy? I guess I'd prefer it to look like I still have some reasonable amount of hair after I start shaving.

[BrianFromCalifornia]

Went to have my "system" done today and thought about just shaving it off.  My hair girl was even agreeable ... but couldn't do it.  We did do a temporary tape on the system so I can take it on and off easier. She thought that might help me ease into it.  I looked in the mirror at the salon and pictured myself with no hair and just couldn't do it.  I looked so different. So much older. Sorry guys.

[BrianFromCalifornia]

Today was a step for me.  The lady who I see for my systems convinced me that I should take off the system every few days and that might help get me used to the idea of not wearing it. So tonight for the first time, I took off the system and walked around the house with a hat on ... didn't want to shock our little kids who have no idea that I'm bald.  I'm glad I took it off for several reasons. First, it did feel more normal than I thought it would.  I took a shower and stood in front of the mirror and pictured shaving what I have left off and it didn't feel foreign. Second, I noticed that my scalp was really red where the tape was and it looks like some sort of allergic reaction to the tape. I applied some cortisone cream that I had in the house and plan to keep the system off for a day or two this weekend. My wife got a good look as well and she's wanting me to "pull the plug" and shave the rest off.  She finally has a little hair now that we're a few months out of her chemotherapy and she wants me to tell everyone that I simply shaved my head to support her. Food for thought .. as I'm getting closer. Step by step.

[nuts]

You have your wife's support (pleased her hair is growing back) to shave so why not just take the plunge.  It seems clear that is what you now want to do and once the itch is there then you won't rest until it is done.  Then you will say to all of us 'why didn't I do this sooner'.

[Mike E. P.]

Good for you, Brian. Taking those small steps seems like the right way to do it for you. You have a lot of support from the lady at the system place to your wife, to the guys here. That's great.

The first time I buzzed my head my son ran away from me!

[Goatee]

Go for it. Shave it off and do it in support of your wife. Remember, it will grow back rapidly! Now is the best time to do it.

Transplants and tattoo are just not right as far as i am concerned.

You have the support of everyone on hear. I hope your wife is well and continues to get better.

[AJ Q-Ball]

Speaking about the transplants and tattoos Goatee mentioned, you don't want to do something to your scalp that will be completely irreversible. I've been shaved for a solid week now and feel the best I've ever felt about my appearance.  Transplants and tattoos were never an option for me even if I could have afforded those procedures.

[Papa Don]

Brian, to be sort of blunt--You are who you are, with or without hair.  Those that are your friends and loved-ones accept you for what you are on in inside.  Evidentually, and I understand, this is more of a personal matter.   Good luck on whatever you decide.  Also, welcome to the site. 

[BrianFromCalifornia]

Thanks guys. I'm getting closer. Seeing how red my scalp was under the system was really an eye opener. Also seeing how my wife is behind me helps a lot.

I've grown out my beard and thinking about keeping it. I've never had a beard so constructing a good looking beard will take some effort. Also have some new glasses. Wondering if that would be good to try.

Also reading online about how to shave my remaining hair and the rest of my scalp fuzz. Not sure if I can do it myself or if I need to go to my hair place for her to do it.

Also it was a bit shocking to see how pale my scalp was under the system. Guess it is good sunscreen huh? If I do shave my scalp it might look odd how tan my face is and how pale my scalp is but I assume that will fix itself over time.

[danosully]

   On May 20, 2004, my first wife gave me a buzz cut.  Since then, I either have had a buzz cut or a shaved head.
 
   Since then, I would go to the barber shop every month or two to have my head shaved.  Now, I use a good razor, such as a Schick Fusion Proglide razor, and shave my head down to the skin every few days.
 
   Now, every morning after I take a shower, my head dries on the spot without the need to use a blow drier to dry my hair.  This means less time is needed to prepare for the day.  In my house, there is no electrical outlet in the bathroom and only one in my bedroom, which is already taken up by a lamp and a clock radio.  Both items need to be plugged into this outlet all the time.
 
   To protect my shaved head, except on formal occasions, I always wear a baseball cap.  My wife, Angie, likes me with a shaved head.  Finally, I feel that life is much easier for me with a shaved head, therefore, I am bald by choice.

[Frontier Guy]

Simple logic with a comfortable result.

[BrianFromCalifornia]

Getting closer to pulling the trigger. Been taking off the system and going a few hours without it just to see how it feels.  My wife continues to support me going sly.  She actually wants me to do it.  Her hair has been slow to grow back since her breast cancer chemo (which is just about over) so my shaving would probably cheer her up a bit. I've grown out my beard and started wearing some nifty glasses. The beard looks pretty good ... got some complements on it.  It's pretty itchy but I'm getting used to it.  Looking for a beard trimmer this weekend and also looking at various shavers to see what might work for the beard and for the scalp. I haven't pulled the trigger on the shave quite yet but I'm inching closer.  Just worried how it will go over at work (where I have a lot of VIP-type clients) and whether I'll like the look.  Very scary ...

[warhawk]

Hi Brian:  First of all, prayers to your wife in her battle with breast cancer.  I noticed that this original post was back in August 2013.  I hope that you can pull the trigger soon.  You seem to have a great wife in that she supports your decision.  Please don't get offended but JUST DO IT!!!!  The sooner the better and once you "do the deed", "take the plunge", or in simpler terms "shave your dome", you will feel a very heavy burden off your shoulder and you will be saying to yourself:  "Why did I do this sooner".

Brian, do it soon and don't postpone it.  You got a great wife that supports you.  Any time one thinks about shaving their dome.  Your thoughts will never ever be satisfied until the deed is done.    Kindly keep us posted to your road to slyness.   

WARHAWK