The requirement to shave your head

[leighmundo40]

Oooh! little bit contraversial!

No, I personally don't think that it should be a requirement. I work with a lot of Muslim families and traditionaly when preparing for "Haj" (I think!) the male members of the family are required to shave their heads.
Ive spoken with a lot of kids who have HATED this, felt that it was forced on them rather than a choice. Made them feel massively self aware in school.

So..it's choice isnt it? If you want to, go for it! f you don't.cool! But dont make anyone!

[calbito]

I just read the blog post, and it reminds me of the old saying,  "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".  This general philosophy was popular when I was growing up in the 1960's.  "Use force to coerce outward behavior or appearance, and it will in turn change inward attitudes."  It might have worked for some people, but for me, my friends, and many of the adults in our community, and people across America, more often it created resentment, and in due time, a social backlash that undid most of the progress made. 

You say this proposal is based on observations from this forum; that once people shaved, they essentially realized that hair was no big deal.  However, it must also be considered that 1: Those who shaved were adults, or nearly so, and 2:  They did it of their own free will, and thus were already in an inward mindset to accept the style if all turned out well.  A child who is shaved against his will may not be in such a mindset.

Also, we hear on this forum from those who like the shaved look.  But how many hated it once they tried it, and simply grew their hair out and never posted back to this forum, and thus we never heard of their "failure".

Lastly, any time someone says "Everybody should...", it raises a red flag to me.  We are not "all one".  We are each unique individuals, with our own personalities and characteristics, and "one size fits all" philosophies rarely do.

How did this post get so long? 

[Cave Dweller]

I think more men would be helped in getting through the loss of their hair if they had good male role models in their lives to show them that balding really is not such a big deal.  Frankly, Tyler, I think you hit a proverbial home run when you created this board as it allows men to speak with each other about this issue.

I was blessed with a father who was losing his hair at the time I was born.  I saw a man who never showed ANY anxiety over it, and went about his life exuding the confidence to which we so often refer on this board.  When my hair started thinning at seventeen, I just took it as a part of my growing up because of him.  Sure, when I was confronted with the first true bald spot at my hairline when I was twenty one, I felt that panic, but it was very short lived because by that time I had not only a father but two uncles and a few professors who were balding and never displayed any anxiety or problem with it. Their nonchalance rubbed off on me.

I think that we as fathers and men to whom others may look up have to set the example for our sons and other young men in our lives to show them that their hair is not the epitome of who they are nor the measure of their attractiveness and charisma.  To me, that has a much stronger value and will yield a much greater benefit than forcing those young men to be bald against their will.

As I said, Tyler, this site is a GREAT thing you did.

[Razor X]

I think more men would be helped in getting through the loss of their hair if they had good male role models in their lives to show them that balding really is not such a big deal.

I could not agree more.  That is something that I did not have and I frequently wished that I did.  It would have made things a lot easier when it was time to shave.

[Laser Man]

speaking only for Americans, we live in a society obsessed with appearance.  Unfortunately, baldness was seen as a shortcoming and portrayed negatively in movies and on TV.  Pharmaceutical companies have spent and made millions on drugs to help men retain or regrow hair, not lose it.  It's only recently that a bald head has been seen as cool, stylish, strongly masculine, virile, etc. 

While I'm opposed to mandating or forcing anyone to shave, I think if more people experienced it, the stigma of baldness would be greatly reduced.  It would also help a lot of young guys who fear MPB since being bald would be "normal".  Alas, we are a long way from this state of affairs.

[chgobuzzbald]

Just to add that with so many guys head shaving these last 10 or 15 years their sons will grow up with a Dad they have never seen with hair. So I think this next generation over the next 10 years plus will see baldness differently and be more open about shaving their heads earlier and see it as a part of maturing. I know a young  guy who has no hair loss but started shaving his because his uncle has had a shaved head and he wanted to try it. So his uncle shaved it the first time for him. Then later he started shaving himself and enjoys the look and feel. So that tells me younger guys having shaved relatives will try it and not see it as anything negative. It wont have to be a requirement, they will just want to try it.

[kalbo]

Im one of those that say it should not be a requirement enforced by parents but instead, parents should express support when their child decides to give head shaving a try.

[Razor X]

I don't think anyone is suggesting that parents should forcibly shave their sons' heads against their will -- only that it would be beneficial it became the norm for kids to experiment with a shaved head once they reach 15-16 years old. Most kids would want to do it if their friends were doing it too. It would take away the fears about shaving later in life if they had the experience of having a shaved head while they were growing up.

[Mr Jules]

Ultimately I'd like to see hair become optional the way facial hair is.  Most guys who can't grow decent beards shave their faces and don't spend a lot of time obsessing over it.  It would be good if we could get to a point where hair on the scalp is viewed the same way.

Agreed, Razor X

Been thinking about this one, too. I shave my head, like I used to shave my face - all part of the daily routine and think of nothing of it. And the beard is the feature to experiment with in terms of length and style - just like the hair on my head was some years ago.

Of course, for the first 15-20 odd years of our lives, we have hair on our head and none on our face. Which is why we may be conditioned to that appearance.

Agree with your later post - every man should shave their head at least one. Just to see if they like it.

[Ihor]

I agree that every male should try a shaved look at least once but it should be done of their free will.
I think more and more young people will want to give it a go because of a tendency towards minimalism that we've observed in the last decade and it's here to stay. A bald look is practical, minimalistic and is promoted by modern mass culture (though rather slowly:-)) So, if the tendency goes this way in the next 10-15 years, young males won't be required by their parents to shave their heads because they'll be willing to do it themselves.

[buddha]

The only people that should be forced to shave their heads are Motley Crue.

[jarheadj]

Thinking about it, feel it's important to let out kids develop their own individuality (within reason) and while I think it would be cool for my son to have his head shaved as a rite of passage, feel it would be detrimental to "require" him to do so. Two years ago, my son said he wanted a buzz for the summer and just like last week, we went to the barber, he got his burr and I got my head shave. The moment he looked in the mirror after his cut, you could see the life fall out of his face and in fact, was so self conscious over his (lack of) hair that he was reluctant to hang out with friends. Over the last two years, he grew his "Emo" hair out and fought me over even getting it trimmed. I was in shock a few weeks ago when he said he wanted a High n Tight. I reminded him how he felt after the last short cut and he said; "I think I'll like it this time." Sure enough, He loves it. I think he's a little young to go sly (unless he's Avatar:-) however if he wanted to do so in high school or grow it down his back, I'd be supportive as my parents always fought me when I wanted to buzz my hair down growing up so I refuse to make that an issue in my house. I want him to find and be comfortable with the look he wants and feel if I forced something like a headshave, then he'd resent it/me and rebel in the opposite direction. That's human nature...

[greatnessinc]

I think it works best as a decision made by the individual. The desire to go sly plus the commitment to follow through are IMO the only true requirements.

[Who Knows]

I wouldn't say every male should be required to shave their head. But they definitely try it at least once In their life. If every male was required to do it then they would be no diversity thus making people who do shave their heads as distinguished not as they normally would be.

[g_bald]

I'd chime in as well, that the requirement should only be a that you are offered a personal choice to take the clippers and razor out, and go smooth. It's optional to decide to do so... but I see MANY more people shaved today and it's less unusual than it was even a few years back. I feel like it's a great idea as a 'rite-of-passage' but not being forced into it. Maybe dad and son(s) can go to the barber together, or just sit out on the deck on a nice day and have a head-shaving party.

A friend of mine's son had to have his head shaved due to head lice. He was extremely self-conscious about it and very uncomfortable. Then one older kid told him he thought it "looked cool" and all the sudden the smile broke out and he wasn't fearful of it any more. Just one compliment like that makes anyone stand taller and prouder.