Hello To Everyone

[NeedAdvice2013]

I am new here, just found this forum!

I have battled hair loss, seems like forever! (I am now in mid-40's). I have tried Propecia, all the various shampoos and conditioners, and Rogaine....none of which worked. I will not consider tansplants--heard too many horror stories about it.

I have attempted suicide because of my hair loss.....been struggling with this again : Anyone else here felt suicidal or attempted it over their hair loss? ( I have been to numerous "therapists"--who charge me $175.00 an hour, just to sit there with their full heads of hair and tell me to "focus on other positive qualities I have".  I have been on all kinds of psychotropic meds too....which again, only served to empty my wallet.

I hate this! I feel so bad and insecure! I see men with "perfect" hair in public and I feel so inferior! They have a beautiful woman on their arms---meanwhile, I have no one. I habitually, constantly, and always compare myself to other men and i do NOT measure up at all!!!! To top it off, I am an "ectomorph"....tried weights, proteins, etc..for years...never could attain "bulk and size"...everything is so frustrating!!!!

I decided early in life to NOT ever have kids!!! Do not want to pass along such poor genetics!!!

Advice...help...suggestions PLEASE??? Has anyone else here felt the same things? What do you do?

[TheSlyBear]

First, congrats on knowing enough to avoid mutilating your head with transplants.

And as far as "focusing on positive qualities", a nicely gleaming shaved head is one of the most positive qualities I can think of.

There are lots of bald guys here who loved their shaved domes and love to show them off. Thinking about it as a negative is just a point of view that's holding you back.

There are also lots of bald guys here who have full heads of hair, but shave it gleamingly bald because it looks and feels great! Hardly a negative.

And, there are also lots of bald guys here with gorgeous wives and girlfriends hanging on their arms. It has nothing to do with what's on, or not on, their heads. It has everything to do with their level of confidence and self image.

What's holding you back is that you think that losing your hair is a problem, and one that somehow reflects poorly on you as a man and human being. And that's hogwash.

Bad genetics? Please! Male pattern baldness affects over 70% of all men. It's much more normal than it is a supposed "defect".

I think you've found the right place  to help you put things into perspective and realize that losing your hair is just not that big of a deal. Crop it down, or shave it off, and get on with your life.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome, NA2013! I was about 26 when I started having a receding hairline, at about 28, I tried to grow a flattop but I still had the "punchbowl" in the middle of it. By the time I reached 30, I realized that I was going bald and nothing could be done about it. Getting back to your situation, you say that you have trouble dating, a hard time looking at other men's heads, etc.
Here are some things to remember:

1. The best way to be happier with yourself is to not to compare yourself to others.

2. Most women are attracted to confident men, regardless of how much hair they have on their heads. I had a shaved head for both of my weddings, and everyone says it looked better than it would have been with the receding hairline or the horseshoe. There is someone out there for you, but you have to love yourself first before someone else can love you.

3. There are people with far worse issues than hair loss...and they are still living life and enjoying it like it was their last day. Are you going to continue to let life pass you by because of hair loss?

4. I will say that at least you didn't waste money on any of those "hair loss solution" traps.

5. Good people come in all shapes and sizes....It takes hard work to get to our "desired size" if there is such a thing.

6. If you don't want to have kids, there's nothing wrong with that....but don't let "bad genetics" be your reason. I have a friend who just became a first time father at 46....and he says he can't envision life without his son even after being headstrong about remaining childless. In time, if you find the right woman, you may change your mind, who knows?

7. You are among friends here, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask, we will give the best answer we can. Just remember, we don't do "pity parties" here, but we will lend you our ears to listen

Good luck to you, and you are in my prayers. Post a pic if/when you can!

[Cave Dweller]

Welcome to the board, sir.

No one is going to discount your feelings.  You are not the first (and sadly, will not be the last) man to let his confidence and self-esteem get tied up in his hair. The hair "restoration" businesses are banking on it. I am sorry you fell into their trap.

Most of us who started balding felt some sadness and anxiety over losing our hair. A lot of guys relate those feeling in their first post on this board. You are not alone.

So you are not a George Clooney or Hugh Jackman. Few men are. I certainly am not, so welcome to the club, sir.

What you are going to find on this board are men who have found the confidence to let go of the hair and discovered the freedom of being bald. It really is an amazing feeling.

Losing your hair is not and should not be the end of your world or your happiness. Hair is just one aspect of the physical appearance like the shape of your eyes and the size of your feet. Your inner confidence is what people really see.

If you want to try the shaved look, there are many guys here who will endorse and encourage you.

[nuts]

Hi Need Advice 2013.  The previous posts have said it all.  Going bald either natuarally or by shaving it all off is the most therapeutic feeling and great for your confidence.  Forget all the advertising blurbs by hair transplant companies etc and shave it off and become free.  Your confidence will soar and I can guarantee you will feel liberated.  This forum will help you achieve your desired goal - a shaved head   Start the rest of your life!

Post a pic after the scalp is bare.

[Oracle]

NeedAdvice, it's not what's on your head but what is in your head that is important!  I hated losing my hair too, I felt cheated at times, especially when I saw some deadbeat on welfare with a full head of hair.  Though I have a great job, a Government loan underwriter, I just felt that if I had that high-school dropout welfare bum's great hair, I'd probably be running this Country by now!  Thankfully, I found this board, and real life sly friends, and was (still am) treated for depression. 

I'm the same person whether I shave or have hair except that when shaved, I don't worry about people commenting about my hair loss and obvious shortcomings because I'm losing my hair.  I don't give a damn what others think because I took control and am no longer a poor unfortunate balding geek, I'm a member of the sly community.

You need to see a good endocrinologist in addition to your other doctors.  I think the right combination of c along with your other medications should go a long way in,making you feel better!

Good luck!

Jim

[Tyler]

Hey bud, welcome to Sly Bald Guys.  I'm glad you made it here as I think we can help you out.  You've told us that you've taken some pretty dramatic measures in life regarding your hair loss, mostly for the negative.   Can I ask you to take one more "dramatic" measure, but in the positive?  My ask is that you just shave your hair off.  Do it and keep doing it for 30 days.