How can you be sure if you are attractive or not?

[ShavenHaven]

Is it all just subjective?

Im never known for sure, and since going down the shaved route its took some time to adjust.

Im meeting up with a girl whos pretty hot, and she likes me obviously.

Should I go ask a bunch of people if they think im attractive and gather the results? ha

[Sir Harry]

As long as you are confident and be yourself, the rest shouldn't matter....especially if a girl really cares about you.

[Mikekoz13]

I'm one of the ugliest men on Earth but my wife is beautiful. Don't sweat this nonsense.

[TheSlyBear]

Don't sweat this nonsense.

Koz shoots! He scores!

'nuff said.  

[Mike]

I don't know if there is a real way to know. Some days, I feel like I'm the most hideous person to walk the earth but other days I feel like I look amazing. I have had people tell me I am attractive/hot/sexy/cute/etc. but I never really beleive them. It has to come from within. I have a female friend that used to be plain looking. Not ugly but not hot, just plain and boring. When she left her boyfriend that always put her down for her looks and everything, she started to care about herself more. Pretty soon she was over flowing with self confidence and it was then that I found her to be very attractive. When you have the confidence to back it up, it can make you desirable.

 On the days that I feel ugly, I just have to remind myself that there is someone out there for everyone. One person might say you are gross looking while another might think it is hard to keep their hands off of you

[Vash]

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"-Margaret Wolfe Hungerford; from her 1878 book Molly Bawn.

I know it sounds trite, cliched or just plain cheesy. But it is absolutely true.

"Attractive" isn't a state of being, it isn't a thing you are or aren't. It's a word we use to describe the feeling of being drawn to someone or something. Like by a magnetic force, you are drawn to, pulled toward or "Attracted" to them.

Since what is "attractive" to each person on earth is unique and specific only to them, based on their unique experiences in life, 3 girls can look at the same guy and find him attractive to differing degrees, or may only find certain things about him attractive, or may even find him or things about him repellent (or vice versa, 3 guys / 1 girl). There are as many descriptions of "Attractive" as there are people on earth. Some folks are only to attracted to a certain type of person (tall, short, fat, skinny, bald, long haired, etc...). It's all subjective case by case.

"Beauty" really "is in the eye of the beholder".

The only thing you, or any of us, can do is make yourself happy. Find the things that work for you and make you feel good about yourself. Make yourself happy with the way you look, feel and behave. Find the things that make you feel like the best version of yourself, because then you will radiate happiness and confidence... comfort in your own skin.

Then the qualities that are attracting people will be the things that you are happy about in yourself. People will be attracted to the best version of you.

The unique, one-of-a-kind you.

Self Confidence, Happiness and Relaxation are qualities that radiate out from you and attract others. While low self esteem,  unhappiness and anxiety are all qualities that people perceive and generally are repelled by.

When you feel good, you can't HELP but attract people. It just happens naturally as a buy product of happiness.

"You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself" -Rick Nelson; from his 1972 song Garden Party

[bella]

Basically what Vash said.

Everyone finds different things attractive, and confidence is a huge factor in how attractive we're perceived.

My experience has certainly been that as I get to know a guy's personality, he becomes more or less attractive to me physically based on what kind of character traits he exhibits.  A rude, condescending supermodel would appear ugly to me.

[Tyler]

Vash and Koz hit the nail on the head. 

I'm another case of you don't have to be great looking to have a beautiful woman be attracted to you.  You just have to be confident in yourself.

[Focus]

I think there are 2 main ingredients to attractiveness at first sight :

1/ As mentionned earlier, radiate self confidence by a kind of mental programming.

2/ Smile. Especially if you are a bald, bearded guy, the fact of not smiling gives the impression of a rough body-guard. A smile creates an instant good impression and is very powerful. There is a sentence which goes something like : "A smile enriches the receiver without empoverishing the giver".
Do not underestimate its power.

[Plano]

You just know...

[BaldBro]

Great topic...one I have always grappled with.  I concur with the self-confidence piece, and unfortunately it is not something I have a lot of.

[Crowbar]

Tyler! what a beautiful photo 

This is all great stuff, mentally I have my good days and bad days but I would like to think things are becoming clearer and I am now striving in the right direction overall. I'm feeling more at peace than I used to and being here has helped greatly, everything above is so true

[Daven]

Yeah, I am not at all attractive either the only person that thinks I am is my wife, and that's only person needs to think that way. She was really not happy when I shaved my head but has since become one of my biggest fans. She loves when I shave in the morning and she gets to rub my smooth scalp. What is funny is when  I let it go for two or three days she loves to point out " hey -you're getting scratchy."  I noticed it looks like you buzz cut yours and it's not a razor slick Sly, I say go for it and give that a shot. Ultimately "what other people think of you is none of your business"  as my grandma used to say

[Sir Harry]

Great topic...one I have always grappled with.  I concur with the self-confidence piece, and unfortunately it is not something I have a lot of.

Welcome, BaldBro! Looking good in the photo, the self confidence will come in time....If you want to, post a brief intro in our Introductions section, so we can give you a warm welcome and help you along on the road of confidence. Good luck!

[bella]

We are often our own worst enemies when it comes to judging our attractiveness.  Plus, all that media we love so much have an interest in keeping us feeling insecure and ugly so that we will keep watching/reading and buy things. 

I will be a proponent of "I need to be attractive to myself first" forever, but there is a big difference between not worrying about others' unneeded opinions, and being a total slob/giving up on yourself.

We've all seen people running around looking like they just rolled out of a dumpster and hit the town.  That isn't a "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" case (usually).  I've been there and it was during a period of deep depression.

We've all also seen people who may have conventional "flaws" and may have totally off-the-wall personal aesthetics but they clearly care for themselves and that to me is the core element in attractiveness.

Meaningful attraction in a personal sense happens on a much deeper level than physical appearance, but when that attraction occurs, it's almost certain you'll adore everything about the object of your affection physically as a part of the package.

I hope this makes sense.  It's been a long day already and I'm feeling a bit rambly.