Cops for Cancer
(True story) I spent a very enlightening afternoon with members of the Toronto Police force and several other forces yesterday…NO I wasn’t arrested; I had my head well and thoroughly shaved.
I signed up to do this event, “Cops for Cancer” a few months ago; no coercion…well maybe a little…OK maybe a fair amount. In my life, cancer has reared its ugly head many times; my mother is a two time cancer survivor, although the “successful” treatment of the second cancer left her with serious dementias (plural) and I now care for her; two of mother’s sisters have died of cancers; three of my three mentors in puppetry have died of cancer; my fiancée died of cancer; a good friend of the family barely survived testicular cancer with his family jewels intact and last but not least I lost a dear dog to leukemia. In a show of hands nearly 100% of both the audience and the “shavees” had been affected by cancer.
I raised way more money than I expected. On the appointed day, I showed up at the appointed place, in a very large local mall, Yorkdale. I met up with a friend/videographer who would be taking video. I signed in and handed in my cash donations to the very friendly cancer society volunteers, picked up my coffee, meal and Estee Lauder coupons and “hung out” with the other people who would be getting their heads shaved, most of whom were cops. I also did interviews, on camera with several people all of which will go into a YouTube video.
I noticed something interesting right away; the cops were grouped around the area with other cops and only other cops. You could sense the “we” versus “they”. Cops did not initiate conversation with “us” and that even included the civilian police chaplain; I was the only person to start a conversation with him. He did get his head shaved too. After all of us cops and not had been buzzed or shaved, that we/they divide diminished significantly; we were all bald headed fighters against cancer. Police community interaction benefits both “we” and “they”.
You could also sense that most of the cops were “Alpha male/testosterone” people – and that includes the women. Most of the cops are big and they seem to enjoy the intimidation factor. I am neither little nor easily intimidated; I was intimidated. I wonder how many of them were school yard bullies? How many of them might have been thugs in a different reality? Did they “learn” to exude authority or were they hired because they exuded authority? Let me also say that you’ll never meet a more disciplined group of humans and most of that is self-discipline. It is obvious even in how they wear their uniform and groom with obvious attention to detail. We civilians could learn from that, slob is never a good thing.
On the down side, when command discipline and self-discipline break down, you get the kind of debacle we saw at Toronto’s G-8. When you combine “We/They” with “Alpha male/testosterone” the bad apples can get away with far too much for far too long and the Toronto Police Service has had a lot of, deserved(!) bad press on that score. As you get to know them, the cops are really great guys and gals, even fun. Every one of them is polite and well mannered.
Among the officers I talked to were some canine officers; I love dogs and have four myself. I talked to the police chief, on camera…I guess when you’re the chief of police you’ll take any positive press. Put a microphone in front of his face and you’re a pal. Our top cop is both a personable jovial guy and the ultimate exuder of authority…and TALL. I talked to a rookie officer, on camera, as they shaved both our heads with the razors. We were just two lathered up guys getting bald. This guy will go far, he has real people skills, thinks outside the box and has leadership. I talked to a member of the tactical team/bomb disposal unit. Would you or I like to be involved with deranged armed and desperate humans or bombs that can send a car flying? A propos to nothing, I have my pyro licence; I could legally buy “det chord” but wouldn’t want to be within a city block of that stuff. Even the bomb disposal robot looks scary. He did not get his head shaved because he was already bald. You know how some guys look like they shaved their hair off (me) and some guys look like they never had hair …that was him. He was a real nice guy, and brave. Yet he would not consent to an on-camera interview…I think might have been shy. I wouldn’t dare use the word scared.
All tolled there were over a hundred officers around the area, which is a really good thing since the Cancer Society volunteers had tens of thousands of dollars IN CASH, most of it raised from the spectators at the event. There were Sikh officers, who could be the “poster boys” for warrior saint. They did not shave their heads as it’s against their religion but contributed in other ways. There were black officers; they did not shave their heads as every one of them was already bald. There were female officers and a few of them did go under the clippers. The vast majority of those shaved were white male officers of every rank, age and hairstyle, from really quite long to flattop to barely there. Most of the civilians shaved were also white males. Most of the men who had beards had them shaved too. A few young boys also got shaved; each said that it was because they wanted to; no coercion. Most men, women and boys, are really quite handsome without hair.
Some of the group after photos might have looked like a meeting of the Aryan nation if not for the uniforms. The Sears bedding department was only a short distance away…just kidding.
The actual shaving was interesting; a lot of the officers’ families; wives and especially children wielded the clippers with obvious gusto. Professional stylists finished the job. The boys who shaved dear old Dad may have resented their enthusiasm when they were in the chair and their now bald Dad had the clippers in hand. Some shavees were clipped by fellow officers; even the police chief wielded the clippers on a few heads. He should keep his day job; he’ll never make it as a hairdresser! Nobody seemed to regret the loss of their hair and where long enough, it was collected for wig making. I was one of the last since I didn’t belong to any “group” or police division. The young lady, who was a top stylist at one of Toronto’s top salons, where I could never afford to get my hair “done”, volunteering her time, whispered in my ear “you have such beautiful hair”. I was speechless; nobody had ever said that to ME, EVER! My hair has been a disaster most of my life. Beautiful or not she had it buzzed off in about a minute. Just off-stage they had set up an area where burly police officers would razor shave your head, if you wanted it. “In for a penny, in for a pound”. I waited my turn and got lathered up and shaved down. It was very relaxing and I managed to do an on-camera interview at the same time.
I walked out of the mall proud; proud that I did this and so very proud of my friends, family and neighbour who are so generous with their donations.
I walked out of the mall with a respect and some understanding of the police service.
I walked out of the mall bald. It was gently raining and quite brisk. That feels so good on a bald scalp. I was bald. And yet it wasn’t quite as I remember it. I’ve shaved my head before and this was not quite right. I was bald. The mirror and camera confirmed it but it was not quite right. The following morning I shaved bald again in the shower and it was right; I’m not sure what was different; maybe the shave was a little closer; maybe I use a better razor. When I took the dogs for their morning walk and the cool air hit the scalp it was just so right.
Cops for Cancer Poem
Because I care,
I was there
Under the media glare
I sat in the fateful chair
The stylist, oh so fair
Buzzed off all my gorgeous hair
Under a minute, with time to spare
A cop, who a glock did wear
Offered to shave it ,if I dare.
Of the blinding shine beware
He shaved it completely, completely bare
That’s a baldness oh so rare
Now where is that jar of Nair?
It was a great event; I will have raised over $700. when everything comes in. The cops and Cancer society did a great job. My friends, family and neighbours were very generous – Thank You All. I think I’ll do it again next year…you’ve been warned, I’m coming for donations LOL.
By the way Nair on the pate is a BAD idea but it does rhyme GOOD.
:popoThese are not my photos, nor am I in any of them - damm - but they do give the flavour of the event; it was an amazing "energy". There is one photo of a guy actually being shaved (razor) by a cop; same cop did my noggin. There are many photos of a very tall "rookie" cop (in one he's holding commemorative coins). He is an amazing guy and will be a great cop. He was in the chair beside me getting shaved during my shaving and I interviewed him on camera. I will post the edited video to YouTube and my own website ASAP and post the link here. I don't even have the raw footage back yet, so it may be a while.
http://robackerman.com/copsforcancer2013/
What a great event and a great thing you did!