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Sly jokes about oneself
by
PatZeeB
on 17 Apr, 2013 17:10
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Being the somewhat funny guy I am, I'm always making jokes. Sometimes when people point out my head, and acknowledge it with a joke. AND its not the bad/ashamed acknowledgement either, its the "I'm super cool and I know it" type of acknowledgements or jokes. I bring it out; people love it. Even got a head rub from two hot girls the other day too haha.
What are some of your guys' jokes?
When people talk about hairstyles, I jump in and be like "I think my hair's pretty cool."
Jokingly talk about getting a haircut, trim, etc.
Talk about favorite types of shampoos.
Anyone?
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#1
by
stasiu
on 17 Apr, 2013 17:36
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As my avatar pic caption states "All Dressed Up And No Hair To Go" is a sly joke of mine. Another one "Did Anyone Else Feel Those Rain Drops?". Another "This Humidity Is Playing Havoc On My Eyebrows". Or "Not On My Head, Not On My Chest But All On My Legs".
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#2
by
smoothsailing
on 17 Apr, 2013 18:46
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Them: "Wow, you cut your hair!"
Me : "Yah, all of them!"
Them: "Hey, baldy!"
Me : "Sup, hairy?"
After coming in from the rain: "How's my hair look?"
or "Wow I hate wet hair. That's your problem now
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#3
by
-Doug-
on 17 Apr, 2013 20:00
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I ask if anyone has a comb if I am about to be in a group photo.
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#4
by
Paul
on 17 Apr, 2013 20:32
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Kids at my high school are not allowed to wear hats so when I see one, I tell them "If my heads not cold, your's isn't"
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#5
by
buddha
on 18 Apr, 2013 08:06
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And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
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#6
by
sahil15
on 18 Apr, 2013 15:24
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Let me tell you a tale about the three hairs and baldilock
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#7
by
smoothsailing
on 18 Apr, 2013 16:36
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And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
hahajajaj good one
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#8
by
gutsygirl
on 25 Apr, 2013 23:33
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GREAT THREAD!!! Keep em coming!
When kids ask what happened to my hair (most have never seen a proudly bald woman before), I come up with something like...
"I sneezed a bit hard and my I blew my hair off."
"I was driving in the car with the windows down, and the wind blew so hard all my hair flew away! That's why when Mom tells you to keep your head inside the car, you really should!"
"Ever heard your Mom say she was so frustrated she could pull her hair out? Keep her happy!"
"I got scared and my hair jumped up and ran away, but I was too slow to catch it."
"Geez I need a haircut!"
You should watch those kids' eyes get HUGE and buggy as they try to figure me out!!
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#9
by
Hingatao
on 26 Apr, 2013 13:23
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It's always fun to keep the guessing isn't it?
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#10
by
Focus
on 24 May, 2013 16:28
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This very morning, I was bringing my son to school and a tired mother told me :
"I'm sick of all this rain!"
I answered :
"Yeah, my blow-dry is destroyed!"
Once, a woman asked a woman I was with :
"Your hair is so beautiful! What kind of shampoo do you use?"
She answered the unknown woman.
Then, I couldn't resist to add :
"Now, do you wish to know what kind of shampoo I use?"
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#11
by
Focus
on 24 May, 2013 16:43
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The other day I was learning chair massage techniques (known as AMMA).
I was working with a female partner - each massaging the other. When it was my turn to be massaged on the head, I told her :
"Please, don't mess up my hair."
This kind of joke is great when you wish to break the ice among people who don't know each other. People do not burst out laughing, but cannot do anything else than at least smiling, at best laughing.
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#12
by
jedge01
on 24 May, 2013 17:38
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My haircut is upside down..
For my kids.. You're gonna make me pull my hair out!
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#13
by
CraftyGuy
on 24 May, 2013 20:04
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It's not having less hair, it's getting more head!
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#14
by
Quetzalcoatl
on 24 May, 2013 21:10
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"My brain needed some air"
"My hair just couldn't handle me"
"I have too much testosterone for my own good"
I also work in a bakery where by law we have to wear hairnets, no exceptions, so whenever someone asks me why I have to wear one with no hair I say either:
"To keep my dandruff outta your pie"
or
"My head is just too shiney and radiant for my coworkers to handle"
One I use if I'm confident the customer isn't a prude:
"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got quite a beautiful head, and we've got to keep these floors dry somehow..."