Trying this again - My Hairstory

[TV guy]

Hi All.  This is my first post and introduction, though I’ve been something of a lurker. Forgive me the length of this story, my “hairstory”.
I’ve had a weird love/mostly hate relationship with my hair.
As a kid in the sixties I got regular short back and side home haircuts; hated those because dear ol’ Dad used really cheap clippers that pulled off as much hair as it cut off. Ouch!
In the early seventies, after a big fight with Dad, I was allowed to grow my hair. That was the fashion and of course, locker-room wisdom had it that you couldn’t get a pity f*#k if you had short hair. Actually the very few short haired guys did OK, but I digress. Suffice to say that pictures from that era evoke a “what was I thinking” reaction. I experimented with small changes in length and facial hair but it was still bad looking. One day, on impulse, as a young adult, I went to the local hair place and asked for a “real short haircut” and got a way-too-long hacked up “brush cut” – sort of. I couldn’t grow the long hair back fast enough. It was bad. A few years later; it took that long to get over the first “real short haircut”; I was in the (then) small town I grew up in. The old barbershop was still there. I hadn’t been in there for years. Everybody knew that those three Italian barbers were hair butchers so nobody who had or wanted long hair went there. On impulse, wanting a change, I went in to get a “real short haircut”. Even with their reputation I wasn’t taking any chances. I figured if I asked for a crew cut or a brush cut, I might get a replay of the last “real short haircut”.  I pointed to the picture and asked for a butch cut …and shave off the beard. Boy did I get a real short haircut! It didn’t look that good though certainly not worse than the long hair…but it felt great. It was mildly erotic when I touched it…it was mind-blowingly erotic when any female touched it. For the next three decades, I had every variation on really short hair imaginable; butch, buzz, fade, brush cut, crew cut, flattop, shaved in lines, induction cut and of course, most often, shaved completely sly bald. Not one of them looked really good or really bad.  Occasionally, when it was too far grown out, it looked creepy; I was actually told that to my face. On me, facial hair has always been creepy - and grey and creepy was a no go.
Fast forward to about a year ago…on impulse, I had a stylist “consultation”. My hair loss was minimal but the grey was making significant advances on the sides. Didn’t know that…my hair hadn’t been long enough to tell. Following her advice I let my hair grow, while frequently dying it to keep the grey under control. Lately, I have been keeping it very short on the sides – to eliminate the grey and creepy without dye – while having the top quite long, a very “retro” style. I actually bought a comb! I bought “product”! I learned how to use “product”. I actually go to the barber MORE often than with the buzz cut.
Truth to tell, I really do look better with longer (but not long) hair. Several women, I’ve known for years, have called me “handsome”. I’d never been called “handsome” before – ever. Truth to tell, longer hair is bothersome, work and annoying…and not even a little erotic.
Fast forward to a month ago…most definitely not on impulse…I decided to participate in the “Cops for Cancer” head shave in Toronto’s Yorkdale on April 13th. I am not a cop…actually I’m a children’s performer…a puppeteer! I have done similar events in the past. It’s a “free” haircut…that only cost ten times what an ordinary haircut costs in time and donation money.
 On the one hand, there was some coercion, “Police brutality!!” (just kidding). On the other hand, there is a genuine desire to help people afflicted with this burden, both the patients and the people around them who often suffer as much or even more. On yet another hand, cancer runs in my genes (my mother is a two time cancer survivor, though the last bout left her with a severe dementia and I now care for her) and carcinogens are rampant in the environment. Though not currently personally afflicted – I’m scared. On yet another hand, buzzed to almost sly is erotic (there are legal reasons they can’t shave you but boy can they get close). On another hand, hair grows back, if you let it. On another hand…oops too many hands. Puppeteers always want extra hands. And NO, there will be no “off colour” remarks about hand jobs.
Guys and gals, I’m asking for your help. I don’t need encouragement; on April 13th I WILL be bald; no wavering, hesitation or regret. Please send your positive energy (call it prayer, if you wish), send money to aid cancer research and patient support in your area or if you wish, and especially if you live in Canada, pledge/support me on April 13th. I’ll share the directions for online donation with anyone who wishes to do that.
Live long and prosper.

[Lynchy]

Welcome mate...

Sounds like you are doing a good deed taking it all off.

Hopefully you like the look as much as the rest of us and keep it

Good luck

[Sir Harry]

Welcome aboard!

[kalbo]

That is one heluva llloooonnnnggg post, appreciate the effort in posting. Welcome aboard, be sending my prayers. 

[TV guy]

It was rather a long post but I had a lot to get off my chest...I've been doing a lot of self evaluating lately and there was a lot I needed to explain to myself and writing it helps. It is stunning how my hair has always been in sync with what was really going on in my mind, as opposed to what I thought I thought at the time...Boy that's deep.

 I've done the thirty days (and much more) many, many times over the past thirty years. As I said I LOVE the feeling of being bald or nearly bald, but it isn't my best look. As an artist, I really do know what is aesthetically pleasing and what is not. A lot of the folks on this board. men and women, look great bald; I'm jealous. I mean, what's not to like about a haircut which can be erotic especially if the "right" person is rubbing it at the "right" time under the "right" circumstances? I'll probally keep the look for a while, because I love it but will eventually return to "reality".

Fundraising for the "Cops for Cancer" has been a real eyeopener. I got some really good donations, mostly from people who can ill afford it. I've got some token donations from my higher earning friends. I've got nothing, not a, zip, zilch from any of the medical professionals I've asked; as a caregiver for a senior I deal with doctors, multiple specialists, audiolist, chiropractor, massage therapist, dentist etc all the time and nothing...unless you count the chiro's receptionist as a medical professional (she was THE most generous and is poorly paid). I have been told that I would do better if I was female or had really long hair, but because I've "always" had short hair it isn't much of a sacrifice...Ha. It took a lot of not giving into the temptation of the razor to grow this hair...and I'm now "handsome". It is a sacrifice! ...Truth to tell I'm also really looking forward to being bald again. Again if any of the bros or sisters in Canada would like to donate, I'll happily provide the on-line instructions. It is painless - really.

Cheers

[bella]

Welcome!  This is a great community.

As an artist you probably also know appearance is subjective and the only person you need to please is YOU.   If you love the bald head, that's probably a stronger indicator than what traditional society has conditioned you to expect from your appearance.  Ultimately, though, society isn't going to give half a rat's nest about our hair so we'd best style it the way we prefer. 

As a woman going BBC, I struggled with this a lot for a couple of months.  Social expectations are strong but our own aesthetics are stronger.  Feel free to PM if you'd like. 

[stasiu]

That is one heluva llloooonnnnggg post, appreciate the effort in posting. Welcome aboard, be sending my prayers. 

Welcome to SBG ... theater is an art just like hair or lack of it !

Keep your creative postings here !

[TV guy]

  Thanks Sister Sly. To a certain extent "beauty IS in the eye of the beholder". That said, artists, of every discipline, study principals like harmony, balance and symmetry to produce "beauty". Cultural norms certainly enter into every perception.

As I said, I've been sly bald or VERY short haired for nearly 30 years and I love the feeling of short/no hair. I also love being called "handsome" by random women (plural!) for the FIRST time in my life. When I look at photos of myself over the years and try to be objective "that man" looks best with that short back and sides haircut. Maybe my parents were right, hairstylewise, all those years ago. There is a saying "as I get older, my Dad gets smarter"; even though he's been dead for twenty years; Moms get smarter too.

I'm not hideous when bald; it's just not my "best" look...I was pretty close to hideous when I had long hair LOL. I can honestly say I've tried every hairstyle except Mohawk (rarely had long enough hair or the guts) ponytail and Afro (not possible with arrow straight hair). So my scalp is a battleground between what "looks best" and what "feels best".

You are right; nobody cares about another's hair specifically but its a sad reality that we ARE judged on our appearance, and we often don't even realize we are being judged. This is one of the mechanisms of prejudice (pre-judge).

You are right; we need to be as happy as possible in this life, after all "nobody gets out alive"

I know the grief you get in some quarters as a BBC man, I can only imagine what they heap on a BBC woman. You, Sister Sly, are a truly brave and very individual individual. You are also aesthetically pleasing (aka beautiful) with gorgeous eyes and smile

[bella]

Thank you TV guy, you are too kind!

I'll admit I probably look "my best" with long hair, blonde highlights, the works.  But I'm less happy having to maintain that nonsense.  I'm finally at a point in my life where I respect my right to be happy more than I respect others' desire to find me as attractive as possible.  The only person I need to make happy in that department is myself and the current SO.

And I love the expression "nobody gets out alive" -- totally going to steal that from you!

[TV guy]

One more week of hair! "Cops for Cancer" headshave is next Saturday and I'm getting really pumped.

 I've been letting my hair just grow since I signed up almost two months ago and it is now shaggy; the longest its been in over 30 years; it will not be mourned or missed.

 I raised far more money than I thought I could - thank you to all who opened their hearts and wallets. It is interesting that my artist friends in many disciplines ALL said YES when asked; quite a few of them cannot "afford" it; while the higher earners either didn't respond or made proportionately tiny donations, Interesting huh?  YOU may still donate if you wish.

  Sister Sly thou shalt not steal my motto...because I freely give it to you! You might also like this one "You might just as well take the silver lining, you're getting the cloud regardless"

OK I got carried away with smileys LOL

[OzSly]

G'Day TV Guy mate 

Welcome to the Bastion Of Baldness

Thanks for sharing your story.

[mrzed]

Share your after photo with us when you do it.

[bella]

Three more days, huh -- how ya feelin?!

[TV guy]

Pumped! and proud to know many of my friends who are so generous. There will be a youtube video coming out of this and I'll post the link when it's done. Not sure if I can get decent frame capture stills with the available software but I'll try.

[warhawk]

Hi TV Guy:  Welcome to the sly fraternity.  Glad that ya joined us and thanks for sharing your story.  We look forward to you pics and video.  Keep us posted.


WARHAWK