Lurker gone member

[pat]

Hiya,

Just joined up, I've been reading around the forums for a while now and thought I'd take the plunge and join in.

I'm 19 and from the UK. I started losing my hair, and my hairline began receding when i was about 16. It started going grey then too. Things have got harder and harder and harder really, I've read loads of positive stuff from you guys, and your stories, but I can't say I've got anything positive. Since it started to thin, I've watched all my self-confidence, which i had heaps of, melt away until now I'm scared of cameras, worry about doing sport because my hair looks thinner when i sweat, and shy away from talking about my age because no-one believes me without having to be convinced.

I've recently started a (apparently) pioneering laser therapy program, which goes on for as long as you need and runs in tandem with minoxidil treatment. It's a really long term process, but hopefully it'll help.

If i'm honest, I'm just posting to get things off my chest. I find life really hard at the moment, I can't look in the mirror without having a little breakdown. I'm going to University in september and I'm scared of the stares and comments. I really don't suit shaven headed, and I've got to a point where I find myself hiding away inside, all because I'm losing my hair.

I sort of just wanted to add my 2 pence (cents?) on the whole balding thing - i've not really heard of anyone my age losing their hair as severely as me, I wanted to highlight how hard it is - going bald mid twenties onwards is more expected i suppose - when you're 18/19 and going out with your friends, it's the worst feeling in the world knowing people are staring at you thinking you're too old to be here.

Anyway, sorry to go on! I just felt i could do with someway of getting all that off my chest, stop it eating away at me so much.

Thanks guys, looks like a great forum.

Pat

[Paul]

Hi Pat and welcome.  Glad you decided to get on board.  Hang in there...while personally am bald by choice, there a quite a few brothers here who can share their stories of hair loss with you.  But BBC or losing your hair you have definitely come to the right place for support. 

[SLYinKC]

Hi, Pat, Glad you joined.  Don't feel alone.  There are others out there who have been in your shoes.  I'm sure being young makes it even harder.  But I'm sure everyone here will tell you the best way to face this problem is head on.  The greatest part about being SLY is the fact that none of use has anything to hide anymore.  The worst part of experiencing hair loss is trying to hide it any being afraid of others noticing or finding out about what you're doing to hide it.

If you're really nervous about going SLY all at once, many of us will tell you the easiest way is to try it in stages.  Try buzzing it down and I can guarantee you will immediately start to feel relief.  There are alot of us here who will give you alot of support and advice from a "been there" and "done that" perspective.

Hope you hang around and post some more.  Post a pic if you get a chance.  Be sure to check out all of the before and afters.  I think you'll be nothing but encouraged.

[pat]

hey, thanks for the replies guys - here's the only recent pic I have of myself:


It's difficult as well because my style doesn't really match the whole SLY style, and i have huge ears too haha!

[SLYinKC]

There is also a site "baldlygo.com" where you can post a pic and they will email you the pic back w/o hair.  By the way, the SLY style is pretty diverse.  I wouldn't limit yourself to any pre-conceived notions.

[Stu]

Pat, welcome!  As the guys have said, this is a great place for support.  I am sure that it's very hard at your age.  I would be suspicious of these 'so called' cures.  The only cure I know of is shaving it all off and forgetting about the past.  I too would recommend buzzing it down and getting used to the look.  You might find it looks alright, and it's so easy to maintain.  It looks like you have friends who don't seem to care about your hair.  Have you asked their opinions on you potentially buzzing it down or going all the way and shaving it completely?  Mother Nature isn't always kind to us, especially at your age, but you have a whole life to live.  The sooner you get past this point (albeit a tough one), the sooner you can get on with the rest of your life.  The sly look is very accepted these days, and there's no reason it won't work for you.  Keep reading and posting.

[Tyler]

Pat, I can understand how you feel losing your hair at a young age.  With today's image conscience society, it's hard to accept something that the media portrays as ugly.  Though, you shouldn't let others define you and your self confidence.  I recommend shaving your head and keeping it that way for 30 days.  I know you have your treatment going on, but you really need to put that on hold and try shaving your head.  One, I think you're most likely spending a lot of money on things that will only suck up your money and not regrow your hair for the long term.  Two, shaving your head is very liberating and you should try it.

[Kajun]

It started going grey then too. Things have got harder and harder and harder

Since it started to thin, I've watched all my self-confidence, which i had heaps of, melt away until now I'm scared of cameras, worry about doing sport because my hair looks thinner when i sweat, and shy away from talking about my age because no-one believes me without having to be convinced.


 I find life really hard at the moment, I can't look in the mirror without having a little breakdown.

 I'm scared of the stares and comments.

I've got to a point where I find myself hiding away inside, all because I'm losing my hair.


 it's the worst feeling in the world knowing people are staring at you thinking you're too old to be here.

Pat , welcome to SBG's, you've come to the right place for help and support but we can only do so much to help you, you have to take the final step by shaving it and liberating and solving your problem...

i've quoted a few things from your post.. read these to yourself and see what "hair" is doing to you, its destroying you from the inside. you are very young but there are many guys that go bald at that age you are not alone.

you say that sly is not your style..well going bald is not your style either but your doing it and hating every minute of it. you are young and can adapt to a new style better and easier than most of us old guys, i thought it was going to be hard for me to adapt to a new style at 38 years old..it was.. for a few days until i realized that my old balding style hair was actually limiting me in what i could wear and what would look decent on me...no you can't be an "emo" but since your going bald anyway you will have to accept it and find a new style regardless...do it while you are young and eliminate the torture that you will put yourself through over the years.

also that "pioneering laser treatment" is a farce and a big waste of money..its a scam and so are the drugs...you've got to realize that if these "treatments" actually worked that there would be no bald men on the earth especially rich bald men with millions of dollars at their disposable.

buzz it to a #2 , then a #1, then shave it completely, your confidence will come back...

[Johannes]

Hi Pat and welcome, a shaved head is a trendy look

[Scott]

Pat, first off, welcome!  Obviously since you're now a member, you've at least entertained the thought of going sly.  I'm only 28 but have been progressively losing my hair since I was 17.  So from someone who's been in your shoes, I can honestly tell you that it's apparent that it is affecting your self-esteem in a harmful way. 

While I never personally tried any laser or chemical treatments, I've gotta agree with Kajun that if those types of treatments really worked, don't you think the majority of guys with MPB (male pattern baldness) like you & I have would be all over the place telling anyone who would listen to do it.  I personally think you're just wasting your money and setting yourself up for further disappointment.

This is what I recommend.  Take control of the situation by buzzing it down gradually like I did.  I did that for about 6 months until I wasn't even using a guard on my clippers.  Then about 2-3 wks ago, I decided to go for it, and went sly for the first time.  Guess what?  I loved it.  It was one of the most liberating experiences of my life!  I'm serious here.  And, despite my fears, none of my friends or family have said anything negative at all.  My parents and brothers didn't even notice until I said something.  They told me they didn't notice because I had been buzzing it down every week anyway. 

If you don't want to go that route, that's totally up to you.  But with the support and encouragement I received from my sly bros, I took control and went sly, and their support and encouragement is what has enabled me to accept this lifestyle and my confidence has risen ever since.  We're here to support you no matter what!  I gotta tell you though, the ladies really love a sly man!  Keep us posted bro and feel free to ask questions.

[Ian]

Hi Pat,welcome to the forum.
I have been in the same situation as you,young & going very thin on top.I didnt know about all the different drugs out there to try & help things,but on the other hand i'm glad i did'nt.I had been buzzing my hair down since i was in my early 20's started at a No3,then 2 then down to a 1 & each time i thought 'why did'nt i do this sooner?'
This is a great place with loads of people from all walks of life,some are like me natural & others are BBC (Bald By Choice) stick around & have a laugh
Lifes too short to worry about things

[shyslyguy]

Hi Pat & welcome to the site,

As others have said, you've come to the right place here. I can well relate to your story as I started losing my hair at a very young age too so I know what you're going through. It's an odd condition since it doesn't actually do you any physical harm as such & that kind of makes you feel worse about feeling so bad about it & being preoccupied with it it - well, it did me anyway & because of that it makes it very difficult to talk about sometimes, which is one reason why this site is such a great place - here you are free to discuss your worries with a lot of us who've been through the same thing so take heart from that.

When you go sly it is indeed a liberating experience as it's an act of taking control back - after all, you can't lose any hair if you have none to lose - & you cease to feel like a victim with no control over the situation.  It's a bit like looking into the abyss & finding hey - that's not half as bad as I thought it was going to be, in fact I even quite like it!

I'm 45 now & have now lost all the hair that I'm going to lose - (ie; I don't have a single hair on the top of my head anymore) & I have to tell you - the hardest stage was the stage you're at now - going bald is harder than being bald - especially when you're very young & you feel like the only one who's going through it - it can feel very lonely indeed - but take heart - there's loads of us here who have been through it & survived & you will too!

Good luck with the treatment but if it doesn't deliver (& I fear it may not) remember - there's a whole bunch of cool sly guys here who are happy to embrace the look (many of whom are completely bbc, so it can't be THAT bad!) & there's only one way to become as cool as SLY & that's to join us!

Take care & keep us informed as to how you get on.

[Razor X]

Losing your hair at a young age is tough, but it does not get any easier the older you get.  It's one of those things that there's never a good time for.  When was the last time you heard anybody say, "Oh well, I'm XX years old so it's about time my hair started falling out"?

I can only reiterate what everyone else has told you.  I'd also like to add that there is a world of difference between going bald and being bald.  The balding process is not fun.  It makes you look older and it can make you look very awkward at certain stages.  But not having hair at all is completely different.  It's something that you not only can learn to live with, but can actually come to like, as most of us have.  I know that is hard for you to fathom right now, but you're just going to have to trust us on that.  It's a leap of faith, but things are far brighter than you can imagine here on the other side.  As Kajun pointed out, a full head of hair is no longer an option, regardless of what the people selling the restoration products are telling you, so accept it and move on.  The two choices available you are partially bald or completely sly.  I know which one I would (and in fact, did) choose.

I met a friend for a few drinks earlier tonight and there were plenty of bald guys in the bar.  Most of them were completely sly, a few were clipper-shaved or closely buzzed.  The only one who looked ridiculous was the one 50-something year old guy with MPB and a ponytail halfway down his back.

Sorry for the long post.  Cheer up, things are not nearly as dark as they seem right now.

Good luck.

[BaldRob]

Hi and Welcome Pat!!

I was in your same boat... I started losing my hair around 19!  However, back in the '80s the only option to hide the baldness was a rug, which wasn't even an option for me... blech!

I really can't add anything to what the others have said without sounding redundant, but I will add that any hair restoration treatment is not a permanent solution.  As soon as you stop, your hair will begin to fall out again.  Is this treatment really something that you want to do for the rest of your life?

Being sly is definitely liberating... no worries about rain, wind, sports, bedhead, etc!  There are more than a few guys on here that have gone through various treatments or had "systems"... in the end most if not all will tell you that either way is a waste of money.

Obviously, whatever you do is your decision.  Weigh the pros and cons of each and make an educated decision.

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

Welcome Pat

Im also from the UK, Im from near Liverpool and currently deliberating "when" to go sly. Where are you from?

Im 23 and have been losing my hair since I was 15,when I took a drug called Roacutane for acne, this basically accelerated my hairloss but as I see it, it helped me because the acne was eating me up and it doesnt look good whereas abit of hairloss doesnt look that bad. Anyways Ive been receeding for almost 9 years now so Im very slow BUT I started thinning in the last year which caused me to start Propecia which Im still taking as it doesnt seem to cause any side affects to me.  I really dont think you should take Minox, it basically gets your hair hooked on the drug.

   I buzzed my hair 2 weeks ago down to a supposed 3 but was really a 2. All I can say is that it looks brilliant and everyone likes it apart from my Mum and 1 work colleague.

Basically what Im trying to say is that Im in the same boat as you, Im young, what I think is too young for this kind of hairloss, BUT sh*t happens, dont let your hairloss destroy you, buzz it down feel more comfortable, then maybe progress towards a nice clean sly look. 

Dont waste your 20s is all I can say.

p.s. I started to get little bits of grey when I was 14, though no one ever notices because Im blonde