Yep, another transplant guy

[killingmesoftly]

Unlike many stories that you will see on here.  I had (have) a very natural hair transplant.  I had frontal loss, was 33, had been dealing with it for a few years, and pulled the trigger.  I had always liked the shaved look, but I have a jacked by head, and by that, I mean I have cutis verticis gyrata, I don't have any picks, but you can google it, but this type of scalp has been the source of anxiety since I was 18.  Had I had a normal head, I really don't think hair loss would affect me so much.  I would consider mine mild to medium in severity.

Anyway, I got the HT just 6 months ago.  I grew my hair out to hide the work done for about a year before the procedure.  So basically it has been a year and a half since my hair was short.  Long story short, now my crown is going, and when I made the decision to get the HT, it wasn't (or I couldn't tell it was).  Had I known that the crown was going too, I would not have had the procedure.  Now I feel totally trapped.  I have a klingon like head and the HT scar.  I don't really know what to do.  I have considered excising as much of the CVG and just being scared the hell up and shaving my head.  I worry that could ruin my career though, as people generally don't like hiring people that look freaky for executive type positions.  (I'm not at that level yet but am finishing my MBA this summer.)

I have to say that I am obsessed about it.  About what the future holds.  About what route I'll take (more ht's? excision?)  I feel like someone is standing on my chest all of the time.  I feel trapped and unhappy.   I have fallen into a deep depression and I am not as good of a father or husband or employee as I should be.  To make it worse, it really isn't that bad, yet, and it is still affecting me really bad.  I know that this is a progressive ticket so the future just feels darker. 


I really don't know what I am getting at here, except to say that HT's really are only ok for an older and select few.  The HT industry says that you should be at least 25 to get an HT, but you really need to be about 50 if you are going to do it, so you know what to expect.  Like I said, I never would have gotten one if I knew that my crown was going to start to go so fast.  My hairline was placed in a fairly aggressive position and now I have drawn to the line in the sand and am stuck.


I understand that life is short and that you only get one shot, but I can't help but fall into this depression.  I know that it sounds like I am being sissy.

[Bensen]

Welcome on Board!
The Issue is not the Hairloss right now, the Issue is how you deal with it. I can imagine it's hard to get to a decision about what to do when you are depressed and i probably would start from there. HT or not your are a balding guy and the key is acceptance and to find a way to get there. No easy journey.

Well Saintc was faster and had some good points already.  I'll post mine anyways.

[leighmundo40]

I agree with what SaintC said, go and talk to a doctor or professional first. Dont panic and make any decisions that could make your situation worse. Easy for people to say, and I know full well what it is like when you want to resolve something immediately, but booking in for more surgery really isnt the answer.

Ypu arent being a sissy, it's how you feel and you need to get some help with it.

[Lynchy]

Sounds heavy my friend! As the others said it might be time to seek some professional help.

I hope things work out and that you eventually feel comfortable with where you are at.

Cheers

[Frontier Guy]

I'm just adding another "welcome" and encouragement.

The group here holds much wisdom and there are not many issues which haven't been raised at least once before.

As long as you are willing to work through the challenges, you'll be OK.

I agree with the others ... deal with the depression first. When that's out of the way you'll have the reserves to tackle the other issue(s).

Again, welcome.

[killingmesoftly]

Thanks for the replies.  I really do like the positive attitude on the board.


I don't have any good pics to show what is going on now. but here is one before I started losing in the back(Keep in mind, it is like I got slammed with crown loss in an extremely short amount of time.  Now, the ridges are thinning in the crown area and the valleys are still this with hair. It looks worse than this pic and CVG is a progressive condition, but mine has not changed much in about a decade I don't think.

Take that, plus a strip scar and I'm in trouble.  I shaved with a razor about 12 years ago and it looked pretty bad.  If I was looking at you I had little corn rows on skin.  Looking at it from the side like this it doesn't look as bad.  I really want to have some of this excised to appear more flat, plus, my ht scar wouldn't stand out as much.  The shave it down and rock the man beard.

Anyway, I have been to counseling before (marital) and it was not productive.  It's not that I am against the idea, I just don't know if it will help.  I definitely have traits of OCD and anxiety.  I don't know if anyone on the board has experienced it before, but it is like I am always just a loud noise or a traffic jam from an anxiety attack, although I have never actually had one.  I really don't know where to start as far as the depression or anxiety.  My GP?  I don't think I could tell someone that this is affecting so bad outside of a forum.  People tell me that I am the most laid back guy they know, but its not reality.  I hunt, fish, ride motorcycles, build stuff, etc.  I'm  not suppose to have the feeling that I do.  Even my best friend only slightly knows of the anxiety I feel.    I know that there is something wrong with me that is more than just skin and hair, but I don't know if I would express it to someone face to face.  


Thanks again for the welcome.  It may be sometime before I go "sly" but I like the vibe and confidence that is here.

[Frontier Guy]

I expect ChgoBuzzBald and IllinoisBaldy will comment shortly. They've both survived the HT route and can give some first-hand comments.

This forum is no substitute for counseling, but often just expressing yourself can lead to a revelation ... so keep an eye on the topic as other members weight in.

Glad you're here.

[slymyke]

I think starting with your GP may not be a bad idea.  They can steer you in the right direction and maybe even prescribe something to take the edge off the anxiety.  That is no substitution for counseling, if needed, but the doctors will know what to do.  They help people all the time.  Don't feel like you are isolated.   

If you are having issues, marital counseling is not going to work until you get yours figured out.  I wish you the best, bud!

[killingmesoftly]

I expect ChgoBuzzBald and IllinoisBaldy will comment shortly. They've both survived the HT route and can give some first-hand comments.

This forum is no substitute for counseling, but often just expressing yourself can lead to a revelation ... so keep an eye on the topic as other members weight in.

Glad you're here.

Thanks. I do hope to hear from them. I would like to ask them some questions.

[Sir Harry]

Welcome! I don't have much to add to what the others say, but I wish you well in whatever you decide.

[IllinoisBaldy]

Welcome killingmesoftly.  PM me if you have any questions.

[killingmesoftly]

Thanks.  I will!  Here is another pick before I started losing that shows my scalp condition.  I do envy many of your round and regular heads.

[isleepinthebuff]

Do not allow yourself to be down or lack confidence fella. Even your thread title is a downer. "Yep, Another transplant guy". Like it's wrong, or you are pain. This is what you need to work on, whether it be with external support or within. It sounds like hairloss is only one of the possible issues you are facing but don't allow it to turn into something you use to dislike yourself with.

Confidence comes from within and that's what you need to try and build. It'll be a tough journey, but I bet you can do it.

[killingmesoftly]

Do not allow yourself to be down or lack confidence fella. Even your thread title is a downer. "Yep, Another transplant guy". Like it's wrong, or you are pain. This is what you need to work on, whether it be with external support or within. It sounds like hairloss is only one of the possible issues you are facing but don't allow it to turn into something you use to dislike yourself with.

Confidence comes from within and that's what you need to try and build. It'll be a tough journey, but I bet you can do it.

Thank you for the reply.  I know how to display confidence and am fairly well liked.  The problem is with me.  None of my friends would believe that I feel they way that do or that I was insecure or that I actually had a transplant.  I feel pretty dumb for doing it and that is one of the things I am dealing with now.  I told some of my friends last night that I was battling a pretty deep depression but didn't go into details.  At least that was a start.

[killingmesoftly]

Don't mean to harp on seeking out medical care for the depression--marital counseling is absolutely not at the same level.  Depression is a medical condition--it can and often does require medical intervention.  And remember this if nothing else, there's absolutely no shame or disgrace in seeking medical help.  It is difficult to pick up the phone and say, "I need to see the doctor because I'm extremely depressed and it's lasted for a long time."  In fact it will seem to be the longest phone call of your life.  But as I believe a Chinese proverb says (they have proverbs for everything it seems) The longest journey begins with the first step.  Make that step--don't worry about your scalp--and frankly its not that bad, you can deal with that after you've dealt with the depression.  You'll have the strength then  to deal with it, and in reality you don't right now.  Call the doctor, let us know that you've done it.  Your friends are great--but they cannot give you the medical treatment required to deal with this issue.  Make the call!

Thank you.  I will do it, but it may be a week or 2, I am not making excuses, it just may take that long before I can get off.  The week of the month is always hell in my job and I rarely am able to get away.  I really don't think however that I could unveil all of my insecurities outside of a forum setting.  I will, however, be able to generically talk about my depression/ocd/anxiety issues.  On a positive note, today has been a good day.