Do you.....?

[Mikekoz13]

.... Give money to people on the streets that ask for it?


This thread is inspired by something that happened to me yesterday and my general thoughts on this in the past.

Yesterday morning my daughter and I went to the grocery store in the small Maryland town just down the road from where we live in Pa.. As I was loading my bags of groceries into the back seat of my truck, I heard a car pull up behind me and someone say, "Excuse me sir, I'm sorry to bother you".
It was an older lady in a small sedan.
At first I thought she was going to ask me for directions. Then she started out by saying, "I'm a disabled senior citizen. I actually live in my car. I was wondering if you could spare a dollar so that I can get a cup of coffee at McDonald's". (There is a McDonald's literally next to the grocery store.)

An aside about me: You should know that I NEVER give money to people on the streets that ask me for it. Or those guys that stand in intersections with cardboard signs asking for money. My feeling has always been that if you can beg, you can work.

Back to the story..........

I was about to give her my usual terse "No miss, I cannot" when I looked up at her. When I looked at this woman I saw total sadness in her face and particularly in her eyes. She looked like a person that was at the end of her rope. So I approached her and her car from where I stood about 15 feet away. As the distance between us closed, I could see that she had no top teeth and she was dressed in clothes that looked like they hadn't been washed or changed in many days.
I peeked thru the windows into the car and in the back seat a crude bed was made up of a small pillow, a small blanket, and a couple of coats.

She looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry to bother you, especially with your daughter with you".

So I reached into my pocket for my money clip and I edged closer to her and said this, " Miss...... I'm going to do something that I NEVER do. I'm going to trust that you are telling me the truth.
I'm going to give you $5 to go into McDonald's and get a cup of coffee and something to eat. I don't want you buying cigarettes or beer with the money that I worked hard to earn. I just want you to feed yourself".

She replied, "Sir, I don't smoke and I don't drink". I know she was telling the truth because I was directly in front of her, only a couple of feet away. No cigarette smell in the car... no cigarette or alcohol smell on her.

So as I readied to hand her the $5, I said this to her, "My Dad recently passed away. Just before he passed he asked me to promise to help those less fortunate than myself. So I'm going to help you. And if I think you've been honest with me, and I see you again, I'll help you again. Please, do the right thing".
Her : "Oh my goodness. Thank you so much sir. You are doing Jesus work and I'm suer you're Father knows. God Bless you".

I handed her the money and got in my truck with tears in my eyes. I felt so bad for this poor woman... but I watched her drive off. She went directly into McDonald's drive thru. I sat and watched as she slowly edged forward to order.

So..... why did I do it? I couldn't even believe I did it at first. Was there something about this particular woman? Was it in fact God's hand on my shoulder?
Or  was it some of my Dad's final words echoing in my head?
I have no I idea but I felt COMPELLED to help.

I do know, that since I spent the many long days and nights in the hospital with my Dad in his last weeks, everything about life is EXTRA sharply focused for me. Those last weeks with Dad did change me in some ways.

Well how about your thoughts? Or maybe your story?

DO you.....?

[leighmundo40]

I think that it very much depends on the situation to be honest. I will buy "The Big Issue" magazine from people in city centres, it's a charity magazine and proceeds go towards the homeless, the people who sell it are homeless.

Occaisionally Ill give change to people on the street with their signs and spots, but Im wary as there is a lot of scammers doing this.

I usually give change to those people in supermarkets with their charity buckets.

My heart says that I would do the same in your situation with the lady you met. But then the cynic says "If she was that poor how come she can afford petrol for her car?"

[Hingatao]

Depends on three things, first and foremost being have they got a kid or a pet with them? That helps their case immensely as does doing something to earn the money. An example: in San Francisco, there's a guy who shows up in the Union Square area every year during the Christmas season with a boom box. He puts on some opera (music only) and starts singing.

The other two factors I consider are my mood and whether or not I've got any cash to spare.

I know a lot of people frown on giving their hard earned money to others but I look at it this way: what if I was the one who was destitute. I'd be eternally grateful for every nickel or dime that someone gave me.

As a side note, my brother was destitute for about a year and a half before he passed away last April. He was 55.

[Beardman]

If I can spare it, and if I can't smell a scam I'll hand over some spare change for sure. I'm also a sucker for charities, especially animal ones.

[Switchy]

   Mike , outstanding story .  You did all things right   better than some cops.    So many of us these days are in question.  Of people that are in need or to take advantage of a situation or even wack us.  God has many ways to get our attention, and I know your fathers passing was hard on you.  But always mike CYA it ,   I do not want to seem cold but these days are in question of what people will do for money.  God does protect us, but guess I have to say that alitte child, older lady or man will wack you sometimes quicker than who may look like a tough guy , criminal etc..  Go by your heart son and do what you have to do.   But if I recall you had your daughter with you in the story, this Mike is a day and age that is not from the 50's-60s-.  It is sad, that I am saying this, but I am always armed and I may take a chance such as this .  But brother, things have changed a great deal.  

Thanks , Mike great story and God Bless !  

[Natedawg]

Thanks for sharing your story, Mike. There are too many people out there trying to swindle their way into our wallets,  especially in these hard times, but you seemed to have found a rare case that was sincerely in need...

Honestly, I almost never give anything to individual panhandlers/beggars, but I always give money to Salvation Army when they are ringing their bells at storefronts during the holiday season. I also give as much of my old(er) stuff to Goodwill as I can year-round.

[Switchy]

Thanks for sharing your story, Mike. There are too many people out there trying to swindle their way into our wallets,  especially in these hard times, but you seemed to have found a rare case that was sincerely in need...

Honestly, I almost never give anything to individual panhandlers/beggars, but I always give money to Salvation Army when they are ringing their bells at storefronts during the holiday season. I also give as much of my old(er) stuff to Goodwill as I can year-round.

;)Good man Nate,  After a flood in 1972 the Salvation Army is the greatest.  And always will be in my mind. And Goodwill. I give and also by from the stores 

[Lynchy]

I don't particularly like charities, especially ones with hidden agendas!

But if I can I will usually give to a person on the street, I guess it should be said that we don't have much begging in Oz.

It would be impossible to give to every person in NYC for example, when I visited there were people begging every 2m along the road.

[Mikekoz13]

I should have stated that I immediately made my daughter get in the truck. And besides.... this woman was a sad soul... there was no air of danger about her. Only an air of defeat.

[OzSly]

What a great story Mike, very touching, thanks for sharing.

It depends on the situation but I don't usually do it. I am partial to helping the Salvation Army though.

[-Doug-]

For me it is more of an exception rather than a rule. However, after reading your post I will try to be a little more generous. Thanks for sharing.

[Switchy]

I should have stated that I immediately made my daughter get in the truck. And besides.... this woman was a sad soul... there was no air of danger about her. Only an air of defeat.

  Thanks Mike, just said for the others that will read this expect the unexpected.   Nice job brother. 

[mrzed]

I'm usually not inclined, but this past week my wife gave her shoes to a 'street lady' who only had one shoe and looked pretty bad.  The lady asked for change, which we did not have.  Nor did I have paper money.  I did offer to buy her a meal at the restaurant (I've done that before). I don't usually give cash, but will meet a need.

Wife felt so tender for her, the only thing she had to give was her shoes, which she did.

[Petunia]

I have given before!  I have been used also.  One lady gave us a sad story about wanting to use our bathroom.  Danny let her in and she stole out of our medicine cabinet.  Lesson learned!  We don't let people in our house anymore.  But she got caught stealing from other people and eventually ended up going to prison.  Like Danny and I discussed before it is not our decision what they do with the money.  If they spend it on what they say they need it for then great...if they don't they have to answer for it not me.  I feel it is better to give than to receive.  So yes, I have given before and will do so in the future!

[Switchy]

Indeed , but never let anyone in to your house .  I would tell them where to go to get help.  Don't turn your back on anyone. Learned that in cub scouts !