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#15 by MarkusToe on 07 Feb, 2013 03:34
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the important thing still is how you feel about yourself when you are able to ignore the negative comments. I shaved my head because of MPB and before that many people told me I should wear my hair longer and let my locks grow and I never really liked it, I didnt like photos of me or how I looked in the mirror most the time, so I kept my hair short for some time - and I've been critized for that. So now I shaved my head - didn't like it at first but now I'm so glad I did it, not just because its a good way tobdeal with MPB, also because now it really feels like I can be myself in a long time now
So in the end I'm glad that on this site lots of people told me to do it - which was a bit annoying because it felt like they were saying it to everyone, but if I wouldnt have considered it for myself I wouldnt have come to this site in the first place.
So I think you should really do what you think is best for you - I realized for myself that I was way too much influenced by the opinion of others and tried to avoid any confrontations because I got the feeling that I should try to please those people because thats the only way they would except me and thats the only way I wont have to be lonely - and thats where my low self-esteem came from
so from my experience I would say: you come first then anyone else -
#16 by Frontier Guy on 07 Feb, 2013 03:59
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so from my experience I would say: you come first then anyone else
Well said.
You've come a long way in your journey to rebuild your self-esteem. -
#17 by bella on 07 Feb, 2013 09:07
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Thanks for the words of wisdom, all.
I'll report back this evening on how the job goes today! But I think I've got enough confidence back to walk in and if they mention something about my hair, be genuinely confused about why they would care about such a thing
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#18 by isleepinthebuff on 07 Feb, 2013 12:49
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Bella, you have to do what is best for you. The thing is you are making a personal choice and that is a statement. Similar to me having tattoo's I guess people make judgements that are not true (ironically I hate my tattoo's now as I am a different person to the one I was when I had them done in my early twenties).
Society does have sterotypes and hair is expected with women, thats not wrong or right it's just the way it is. I personally much prefer long hair on women than short but then I don't think guys look great with long hair, so I am one of those awful people.
It's funny because I know women on here have posted that they are asked if they are lesbian if they have a shaved head. I know lots of lesbians and not one has short hair and they don't look like the stereotype - it takes all sorts to make the world!
That doesn't mean you have to have hair but it does mean if you choose not to, you have to expect people will make comments or pass judgements and will have to steel yourself for that.
The stuff with your client I get, again for work I wear non white long sleeved shirts as I don't want people to be distracted by my tatts.
I do agree with Benlen too. I think that if someone joins as they are losing their hair to male pattern baldness, alopecia or any other reason that might be nature or medical it's a fabulous support site but at the same time we don't need to recruit everyone to the sly side. if someone has hair and wants to shave it off - great. Sometimes it does comes across that bald is the only way! I had a skinhead a lot when I was younger but would grow it out every now and again because I could and I liked being able to do that. growing my hair out now isn't an option as I feel less condfient receeding and with a helipad at the back than I do being bald. It's me taking control.
I remember seeing Benlen's video and thinking "Dude you don't need to shave yet" but respecting he felt more confidence and loving that him shaving gave him that new confidence and control . On the flipside seeing how much Markus has improved in just the confidence in his avatar picture makes this site worthwhile to those that don't have a choice. To be honest I see anyone else thinking of shaving their hair as just having their haircut and they can grow it back when the fad is over! This whole "sly for life" at 15 I don't get! I wish I knew at that age what I know now and in my 20's and 30's
Funny enough for me, I feel less people judge me for being totally bald now, like they can see my hairline and realise I have just taken control. When I was younger and buzzed to a zero I think people just thought I was a nazi. I never thought of asking people whether I should shave my head, or grow it, cos it was my CHOICE and I think choice is what separates some of us.
At the end of the day I think you get one chance in life, do what makes you happy but be aware you won't please everyone! -
#19 by baldjoeg on 07 Feb, 2013 13:10
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Well said chgobuzz.
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#20 by bella on 07 Feb, 2013 14:32
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Well....
It went great! I walked in and the (female) receptionist had a short buzz. It was an omen
Nobody paid attention to my hair (or lack thereof) at all. And professionally, boy, do they need my help. This is a huge opportunity for me. Woot!
The world just may be ready for us slyettes after all. Not everyone needs to think it looks good, (we all have preferences, after all) but acceptance of others' choices is a wonderful thing.
Thanks everyone!
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#21 by MarkusToe on 07 Feb, 2013 16:24
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hey bella I am really glad it went well for you - good to see that your confidence is back up
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#22 by Crusher0209 on 07 Feb, 2013 17:39
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hey bella I am really glad it went well for you - good to see that your confidence is back up
Have to agree with Markus glad to see that you are doing better
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#23 by Gary~ on 08 Feb, 2013 00:31
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Well....
It went great! I walked in and the (female) receptionist had a short buzz. It was an omen
Nobody paid attention to my hair (or lack thereof) at all. And professionally, boy, do they need my help. This is a huge opportunity for me. Woot!
The world just may be ready for us slyettes after all. Not everyone needs to think it looks good, (we all have preferences, after all) but acceptance of others' choices is a wonderful thing.
Thanks everyone!
That is really interesting -- 99%+ of the time I get the same reaction -- nothing. Maybe the US and New York is ready for bald women. The old stereotypes are being left behind.
One of the pluses in being a bald woman in business is that it will be easy to remember you. -
#24 by Hingatao on 08 Feb, 2013 11:08
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Well done, Bella!
And I agree with Gary's comment that being bald could work to your advantage. "You need help? Go to the bald lady!" -
#25 by bella on 08 Feb, 2013 15:23
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Just shaved after a few days of iffy nerves. Feels and looks WONDERFUL, Woohooo!
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#26 by Lynchy on 08 Feb, 2013 21:40
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Nice work!