Hey bro, you may remember from earlier discussions that I was in a very similar place to you, dang almost 4 years ago now... I was just as big as you and eating just as bad. SO I know exactly where you are coming from, and hopefully I can help you out.
Before I get too far into things, is your partner backing you with the healthy eating habits at home? One of the biggest things I found was training my mother to stop buying sh!t, but after a few months of my brother (who was also trying to get healthy) we finally brought her around to our side. Don't get me wrong, she was cooking healthy meals and stuff, but she was also buying all that trash and friable foods for us to "snack on" or eat when she didn't cook, eg on weekends. But now she cooks for us every night of the week, and it is always covers all the bases.
How is your home gym going? did you get around to setting something up? Eating right is certainly the biggest part of the plan, but you need a good exercise program to partner with it. If you didn't maybe it is time to think about an actual gym membership. If I remember rightly you weren't too keen on the idea, but after a couple of visits you'll realise that it isn't that bad and you'll move on and get right down to business.
Here is how I lost my weight, I've already told you about turning ym mum around, but there are 3 other things I did, that aided me in my loss:
1) This is honestly the hardest part initially, but you really have to say NO to the cravings and urges to go buy the junk food... it was so hard man, and initially I'd fall off the band wagon and by some KFC or something like that, but every time I said no I got better and better, to the point now where I hardly ever buy take aways (only when I am out for the night, that kind of thing), to get to the point mate, I am not even exaggerating took me months, but if you don't give in, you will eventually break the hold mate, you've really got to want to do it and I think you are honestly at that point in your life where I was January last year, I know you can do it mate.
I'm sure you've talked to your partner about how you are feeling, how does she feel about it? Is she willing to kick the habit with you? Because on the food front it is really a household effort, it's got to be all or nothing to get it to work.
One thing I forgot to add, you can still have a little treat one day a week, I used to have that day on my trade school day, I'd have a sausage in batter for morning tea, and take away for lunch (but I'd try not to have the ole mc donalds or kfc every week if I could help it).
2) Finding a gym partner (exercise buddy), this was a massive one for me, it helped soo much. For me it was my little brother and a couple of mates (only one trains with us now though), for the first probably 6 months or so I trained by myself, and I'd MAYBE get to the gym 2 nights a week if I was luck (at that point I was aiming for 3). Getting the boys on board got me training 6 nights a week, and training hard for those 6 nights. Before when I was training by myself, I couldn't really go hard because I didn't have anyone to back me up, the gym instructors always offered, and occasionally I'd use them, but for the most part I felt embarrassed to ask them because I felt I was lifting so light... please DON'T make that mistake, if you are training by yourself get a spotter if you are lifting, that way you can feel comfortable to actually push your limits. Most guys at the gym will be more then happy to help you when you need it. I watch guys do it all the time for people (even complete strangers to them).
Either way, to succeed at training hard and regularly, it sounds like you need someone to train with, just like I did. Is this your partner might be interested in doing too? It might be a good thing for you 2 to do together. Otherwise do you know anyone who already trains that might be willing to let you join them? that way you have someone that knows the ropes and can teach you the ways? If neither of these options are available, then maybe just put out a general call on Facebook, if you do that, or maybe just ask around some friends. Someone will surely bite, that is how I started going for weekly walks with one of my then friends (long story, not worth going into), then later I moved on to the gym, but it was a start.
3) Try weighing yourself very frequently, I don't know how often you do now. But I weigh myself at least twice a week for my personal records, and every night at the gym, just as a little thing amongst my bro and mate, but also it helps me to see the consequences of not eating healthy during the day, or not training hard enough the night before, or not being active enough at work. When I was actively trying to lose weight (I've met my goal weight) I was actually keeping record of my weight every day or every other day too, as well as weighing in at the gym.
I mentioned keeping records of my weight. The best thing I ever bought other then my gym membership was a set of body analyser scales. I got them really cheap online, and they were so worth it. They measure your weight, body fat, water, muscle mass and bone mass percentages, so I could actually see my gym sessions paying off, and being a numbers guy, it gave me more numbers to read. Every time I jump on the scales, I record these details on an excel spread sheet. Every time. There were times I didn't want to record a gain, but that would be cheating! And my scientific mind wanted the data to be recorded correctly, every time, no fudging the results. Recording my numbers gave me hard evidence for when I was falling off the rails and when I was doing well. It was a big help, it basically helped keep me honest, because if I let myself slip then the numbers wouldn't lie!
4)Set goals, I never used to do this. I always thought "I don't need a goal to lose weight, I'll just lose it"... wrong idea... set yourself lots of small goals, some of my very first goals were honestly just to run for 1 minute and to bench press the bar (20kgs), that is the honest truth. When you achieve that goal first goal you'll see your motivation increase and you'll strive harder for the next one, and then it'll be on for young and old!
The best way to set your goals is to sit down and say "what weight do I ultimately want to finish up on?" for me that was 100kgs, later that turned into 90kgs, now I'm contemplating pushing for me "recommended" weight of 80kgs, but have decided that I'm just going to enjoy lifting and toning up for now. Once you have your Ultimate goal, the next step is to make a serious of different little stepping stone goals, milestones if you will, don't make them all similar... I always had 1 lifting goal, 1 cardio goal and 1 weight goal, that I was trying to achieve at any one time. Make them easily achievable at first, and then make them more challenging as time goes on, but don't make them unachievable during your allotted time frame (if you have a time orientated goal).
Following these 4 points, I was able to lose 20kgs in my first 12 months, and another 20+ since January this year. I have no doubt that you'll be able to see very similar results if you follow these tips.
If you are looking for some support along the way, then jump back across to the Sly Fitness Challenge thread and list your goals for the month there. and we'll give you the encouragement and support to achieve your goals! It has been getting quite there of late, but every little bit will help
I'm really sorry for the massive post, but hopefully you find it helpful, especially seeing that it this is the first time I've actually sat down and document how I lost me weight.
If you want any more advice, or someone to talk to about it feel free to PM me.