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The five stages your suppose to go through by Chazz on 28 May, 2007 09:19
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1)Denial
2)Anger
3)Bargaining
4)Depression
5)Acceptance
These as im sure everyone knows is the five stages of grief, actually saw a link to a site on here about them. My question to all the sly guys out there is did you guys go though these stages, i think its suppose to start when you notice your hairloss.
The reason i ask is that everyone on here is amped about being sly, like if given the choice you'd much rather be sly to begin with.
Just thought you guys could shed some light.
I like your guys attitude sly till i die. -
#1 by jon92388 on 28 May, 2007 09:30
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i went threw them all i just rolled with it eventually i got fed up one night and shaved it all off. I guess the sly look is loved so much because it gives us confidence. dont have to worry about the hair anymore. also it just looks a hell of a lot better. if i could pick a full head of hair or sly. id have to say i would pick sly. its just way better
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#2 by Tom McGarry. on 28 May, 2007 09:39
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I myself never went through those stages, as I am BBC. I just love the Sly look. It was like makeing the choice on what type of haircut, ot the type of clothes to where. It was that simple for me.
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#3 by Itsonlyinmyhead on 28 May, 2007 10:01
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I dont think i ever went through the bargaining stage, Im not quite sure how you fit that into hairloss.
The anger and depression was mixed in with each other. Its only really the last half year that I accepted it. Ive now buzzed my hair.
If you look somewhere like the HLT forum most of the guys are still clearly in anger, depression or denial(which is strange because they are on a Hairloss forum, but also they think that their meds have worked even though they have just cut their hair shorter and doesnt show as much loss)
My depression was bordering on a year
What a year wasted!!! My only excuse is that I was 22/23 at the time, Im now almost 24 and alot healthier mentally and I think it shows in the way I act.
Hairloss is part of me and I wouldnt be me without it. Maybe if I hadnt lost some of my hair I would be arrogant, maybe not as open, maybe I would be more shallow.
Just find your own way. No one can tell you which route to take, whether it be meds(keeping the hope), hairpiece(fooling everyone) or going sly(complete acceptance).
Whatever your choice just stay happy is my advice
BTW are you sly or just thinking about going? -
#4 by Kajun on 28 May, 2007 10:56
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i went through..
denial
anger
WTF this is falling out fast
anxiety for 12+ yrs
acceptance
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#5 by Razor X on 28 May, 2007 11:23
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1)Denial
2)Anger
3)Bargaining
4)Depression
5)Acceptance
These as im sure everyone knows is the five stages of grief, actually saw a link to a site on here about them. My question to all the sly guys out there is did you guys go though these stages, i think its suppose to start when you notice your hairloss.
The reason i ask is that everyone on here is amped about being sly, like if given the choice you'd much rather be sly to begin with.
Just thought you guys could shed some light.
I like your guys attitude sly till i die.
No. I can remember in the very beginning not being quite sure if it was starting to recede or not, comparing to old photographs, etc. And once I was sure that it was receding, I remember not being very happy about it, but would not go so far as to say I was depressed about it. It thinned and receded very slowly and took about 13 years before it was bad enough that it was time to go sly, so I had plenty of time to get used to the idea.
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#6 by Chazz on 28 May, 2007 12:15
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yea im starting to go, like ive said got the receding hairline going which gets worse as time goes.
Im def in the anger stage.
And i know its stupid as its just hair but i thinks its more the fear of how the change will effect your life, mostly i belive the only thing we men are concerned about is how will the female poplultion react. Will we still be seen as attractive, thats what im deeling with now so any thoughts you sly guys?
thanx you guys are helping me come to terms with this and putting a real positive spin on things.... awesome -
#7 by Tyler on 28 May, 2007 13:44
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My thoughts went like this:
At 12 years old (after biology class):
I'm screwed, just look at my uncles.
At 23 when I started thinning:
Damn, I didn't think it would happen this early. I'll try some Nioxin shampoo to see if I can prolong the inevitable. Didn't work.
Spiked the hair to cover it up a bit.
At 25 I started buzzing it. Then that year started using an electric to shave it.
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#8 by SLYinKC on 28 May, 2007 19:11
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The first time I ever remember realizing I was losing it was in 1996, the week after my first son was born. I was getting my hair cut by a new stylist. She was the first one to bring it to my attention that my hair was beginng to thin in the back and on the sides. I had never noticed since I was always looking at myself in the mirror and only seeing a frontal view. From then on I became very self-contious of the thinning and tried various sprays and things like Toppix (the little things you sprinkle on your thin spots) to try to cover up. Nothing worked.
Then about 2 years later I was helping helping in a scouting group with 6-7 year old boys. One of them asked why my scalp was showing. I new then it was getting more serious and I needed to do something. From that time until about 1 and 1/2 months ago, it was a continual cycle of trying to cut my hair shorter and shorter around the thinning spots in a effort to "make the thin hair look natural". Well, I can tell you there is not a way to accomplish that.
I had alway seen guys with a SLY look and thought that it looked good but thought that I could never "pull it off" or that it wasn't for me. Probably it was mostly fear of really taking control of the situation. It wasn't until I literally stumbled across this site that I saw a group of guys that seemed a whole lot like me. I finally figured if others could do it I could to. Then I finally got the courage to really take control of my hair loss problem. And the rest is history. -
#9 by blondeguy on 28 May, 2007 23:04
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And i know its stupid as its just hair but i thinks its more the fear of how the change will effect your life, mostly i belive the only thing we men are concerned about is how will the female poplultion react. Will we still be seen as attractive, thats what im deeling with now so any thoughts you sly guys?
Young guys always worry about this, and they shouldn't. Hair isn't what makes you attractive to women. Although complete lack of it can be one of many turn-ons.
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#10 by gsxr60097 on 03 Jun, 2007 20:24
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I am scared of change and my 20's were lost to other things so i feel I am just running out of time with my hair as it is. I would do anything to get my hair back because of the lost confidence. Not what people want to hear but its how I feel. Now if I was married it might be a different story.I dont think i ever went through the bargaining stage, Im not quite sure how you fit that into hairloss.
The anger and depression was mixed in with each other. Its only really the last half year that I accepted it. Ive now buzzed my hair.
If you look somewhere like the HLT forum most of the guys are still clearly in anger, depression or denial(which is strange because they are on a Hairloss forum, but also they think that their meds have worked even though they have just cut their hair shorter and doesnt show as much loss)
My depression was bordering on a year
What a year wasted!!! My only excuse is that I was 22/23 at the time, Im now almost 24 and alot healthier mentally and I think it shows in the way I act.
Hairloss is part of me and I wouldnt be me without it. Maybe if I hadnt lost some of my hair I would be arrogant, maybe not as open, maybe I would be more shallow.
Just find your own way. No one can tell you which route to take, whether it be meds(keeping the hope), hairpiece(fooling everyone) or going sly(complete acceptance).
Whatever your choice just stay happy is my advice
BTW are you sly or just thinking about going? -
#11 by Razor X on 03 Jun, 2007 21:29
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I am scared of change and my 20's were lost to other things so i feel I am just running out of time with my hair as it is. I would do anything to get my hair back because of the lost confidence. Not what people want to hear but its how I feel. Now if I was married it might be a different story.
There's really nothing to be afraid of. And the cold, hard truth is that you can't get your hair back. The hair replacement options available will only drain your finances and possibly disfigure your scalp. They won't help you get your confidence back; if anything they will impede your progress.
I know it isn't what you want to hear but you need to accept the reality of the situation. Nothing is going to bring your hair back, and you need to stop worrying about things you can't control. Once you've accepted that, then you are on the road to getting your confidence back. I suggest that you do the following things:
1. Buzz your hair as short as you feel comfortable with. Don't worry about shaving it for now. Just get a good, short haircut and within a few days you'll feel better. You'll probably get a lot of compliments which will help build your confidence. Eventually you may even want to buzz your hair even shorter, but that's probably down the road a bit.
2. Spend some time reading through the archives and you will see plenty of other posts from people in your exact situation. Almost without exception, every one of them has felt better once they took control of the situation and got rid of the thinning, receding hair. Also take a look through the Before & After Gallery and notice how every guy there looks better in the "After" shots. No reason to believe that you will be any different.
3. Work on your physique. Eat healthy and get on an exercise program -- to bulk you up if you are too thin or to slim down if you are too heavy. A good physique more than compensates for a bald head.
Many of us have been where you are and know how tough it is. We also know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we're here to lead you through the tunnel if you need us. Good luck. -
#12 by Paul on 04 Jun, 2007 05:01
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I am scared of change and my 20's were lost to other things so i feel I am just running out of time with my hair as it is. I would do anything to get my hair back because of the lost confidence. Not what people want to hear but its how I feel. Now if I was married it might be a different story.
There's really nothing to be afraid of. And the cold, hard truth is that you can't get your hair back. The hair replacement options available will only drain your finances and possibly disfigure your scalp. They won't help you get your confidence back; if anything they will impede your progress.
I know it isn't what you want to hear but you need to accept the reality of the situation. Nothing is going to bring your hair back, and you need to stop worrying about things you can't control. Once you've accepted that, then you are on the road to getting your confidence back. I suggest that you do the following things:
1. Buzz your hair as short as you feel comfortable with. Don't worry about shaving it for now. Just get a good, short haircut and within a few days you'll feel better. You'll probably get a lot of compliments which will help build your confidence. Eventually you may even want to buzz your hair even shorter, but that's probably down the road a bit.
2. Spend some time reading through the archives and you will see plenty of other posts from people in your exact situation. Almost without exception, every one of them has felt better once they took control of the situation and got rid of the thinning, receding hair. Also take a look through the Before & After Gallery and notice how every guy there looks better in the "After" shots. No reason to believe that you will be any different.
3. Work on your physique. Eat healthy and get on an exercise program -- to bulk you up if you are too thin or to slim down if you are too heavy. A good physique more than compensates for a bald head.
Many of us have been where you are and know how tough it is. We also know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we're here to lead you through the tunnel if you need us. Good luck.
Really well stated Razor. And gsxr, change is not easy for a lot of people but, as you read through the archives as Razor suggested, you are going to find that there are plenty of women out there who are TURNED ON not turned off by a sly guy. Isn't it better to have someone in you life who accepts you for really being you. You will also find in those previous posts that buzzing down or going sly invariably INCREASES a guy's confidence level. There is nothing that can surpass the feeling of really taking control of a situation and coming out on top and we are all here to help you get there. -
#13 by jusbnme on 04 Jun, 2007 07:42
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There's not much else I can add. The rest of the guys told it like it is. Take control of your life and give yourself that confidence you need to make yourself feel better. Just do it man, you won't regret it at all. Honestly, everyone is a little skeptical about doing it at first because it can be a big change. But once you do it you realize it is a change for the good.