18 and balding! confidence rock bottom

[youngandbalding]

So after busting my gut to get in shape , and finally get a few months of great confidence, and attention from girls, i've discovered that ive got pattern baldness....not too far in but around a NW2.

This has completely destroyed me, because I feel like I won't be able to attract girls now, i'm only 5 foot 8 and my hair really suited my face . All I can think about all day every day is my damn hair loss and how stupid I would look bald ( I can't even grow facial hair properly yet).

So depressed about this 

[Plano]

You sound a-lot like me at that age. I made the mistake of covering up with a hat around age 20. I say ride it out as long as you can, once it starts thinning in the back, you NEED to buzz it, but if it's the frontal exclusively like mine was, you can really wait it out.

Here's a bit of info, though, IF you want to keep your hair, a shorter haircut makes it look thicker, and there are plenty of thickening agents out there for sale that really do work. If I grew my hair out now, I could put some products in my hair and it really would make a difference.

If you're up for going sly, I suggest going to the shorter buzzer cut at first, then gradually go lower and lower.

Don't get down, it happens to plenty of people. Trust me, the girls aren't worried about the hair. I learned this later in life. If you are a genuine, good natured, fun person, people won't care about your hair, trust me. If, however, your hair is the only thing you've got going for you, welllll, not sure what to tell ya! jk jk.

Mind posting a photo so we can give you a better opinion?

In closing,

DON'T HIDE UNDER THE HAT!

[youngandbalding]

I seen a trichologist, who said I had telogen effluvium....but I seriously doubt this diagnosis because I don't have excessive shedding etc.

I can't be assed with applying treatments, not least because I can't afford, but I just want the worrying to stop, I need some sort of confirmation that I can be super confident ( but not in a deluded way)  and do well with women even when being pretty short and bald .

I don't want to be happy based off of hope for a cure for baldness ( for example histogen or something).

I know deep down going bald isn't a huge issue, but at 18.... it's a really self-conscious time period and peers are very shallow

[ZachM]

Losing your hair at a young ages sucks bro, same thing started happening to me when I was your age.  I kept cutting it shorter and shorter until I just decided to shave it all off.  Trust me, once you get used to the look, you will feel a lot better.  Give it a try.

[mrzed]

I can't completely relate to young age balding, but I can say this.  Evening being bald by choice at 59, when I shaved my head bald, the reaction was 'it looks great on you'.  It's a good fit.  Everyone seems to like it.

I live in North Carolina. As I look around, there are LOTS of bald men, young and old. Maybe it's just a southern thing, but it sure is nice.

Bald all over the place here.

[Frontier Guy]

All I can think about all day every day is my damn hair loss and how stupid I would look bald

If the above statement is true (and I expect it is) ... then this issue is overtaking your life and emotion.

Being decades older than you, I've met a lot of bald guys - of all ages - and haven't found one yet who looked "stupid." So I don't think you have to worry about that. You do have to worry about how you feel about yourself.

Good advice above about cutting it shorter to become accustomed to the change. Or ... just go for it and shave it all off. It is very liberating to suddenly have NO MORE WORRIES ABOUT HAIR!

Plenty of support here for whatever you choose.

[mark]

I was thinning in college. To avoid feeling like I had no control,I shaved it all off. Buzz it short. Shave it. Do it now so people can either remember you with hair,or a shaved head. No one needs to say something like "remember when you looked like a monk?"

[theman]

Son, if you think that hair is the road to women, and etc..  You are confused.    also those who think money is it. LOL , I have found for many decade's it is confidance , and personality !!!!!  So shave the head, be strong, keep lifting and know who YOU are.    

Try it , you just may like it. 

[BoomerHFP]

Hey man,

I can completely relate to you with this, so hopefully something from my experience will help you. I started losing my hair when I was about 18, but it didn't get noticeably thin until I was about 21.
It really screwed with me, combined with my girlfriend breaking up with me, confidence and self-esteem was at an all time low. I got to a point where, between being 21 until about a month ago (I'm now 24), I wouldn't go out without a hat on and if I had to go somewhere where I couldn't wear a hat I'd stress over trying to get my thinning hair to look "good". I used to dread going into a pub or club in case they asked me to take my hat off.

It was a really difficult time, none of my friends were losing their hair, and it really does suck away self-confidence.

It all changed when I got back from holiday in August, and looked back at photos. I was going through and deleting the ones where the camera was at an angle that showed off the top of my head. It was then that I realised that I was sick and tired of constantly thinking about what I can do to try and pretend that I still had a decent head of hair. And after reading around on this forum I realised that not only is it ok to be bald, its actually cool.

I went to my barber, and got him to buzz it down to a number 1, and that's where its stayed since. I was so stoked with how I looked and felt I went out the next day and bought a set of clippers.

Shaving it off really was such a liberating feeling, and I honestly felt a huge wave of relief knowing that I no longer had to be concerned with how my hair looks. I've had loads of great feedback, in particular one friend who, when she saw it for the first time came out with "oh my god, that is so sexy". No matter what you may think, the majority of girls either dig it, or really couldn't care less. There are some that prefer dudes with hair, but that exactly the same as a guy having a preference for girls with red hair over girls with blonde hair.

The main things that I've learnt over the last month are that being bald doesn't mean you're sending your boys down below into early retirement. Quite the opposite, with a shaven head my confidence is the highest its been for years. I'm getting compliments on my hair (or, head), I'm finding it so much easier to talk to girls, and they're more receptive. Its all about having confidence in yourself. I've also just got a new job, which I really doubt I'd have been able to get without my new found confidence. So there are benefits all round.

Along with the added bonus of not having to deal with bed hair or hat hair.

Sorry for the long post, but I'm hoping that something in there will help you move past your folicular hang ups.

Its better to be bald than balding.

All the best, dude.

Lee

[theman]

Hey man,

I can completely relate to you with this, so hopefully something from my experience will help you. I started losing my hair when I was about 18, but it didn't get noticeably thin until I was about 21.
It really screwed with me, combined with my girlfriend breaking up with me, confidence and self-esteem was at an all time low. I got to a point where, between being 21 until about a month ago (I'm now 24), I wouldn't go out without a hat on and if I had to go somewhere where I couldn't wear a hat I'd stress over trying to get my thinning hair to look "good". I used to dread going into a pub or club in case they asked me to take my hat off.

It was a really difficult time, none of my friends were losing their hair, and it really does suck away self-confidence.

It all changed when I got back from holiday in August, and looked back at photos. I was going through and deleting the ones where the camera was at an angle that showed off the top of my head. It was then that I realised that I was sick and tired of constantly thinking about what I can do to try and pretend that I still had a decent head of hair. And after reading around on this forum I realised that not only is it ok to be bald, its actually cool.

I went to my barber, and got him to buzz it down to a number 1, and that's where its stayed since. I was so stoked with how I looked and felt I went out the next day and bought a set of clippers.

Shaving it off really was such a liberating feeling, and I honestly felt a huge wave of relief knowing that I no longer had to be concerned with how my hair looks. I've had loads of great feedback, in particular one friend who, when she saw it for the first time came out with "oh my god, that is so sexy". No matter what you may think, the majority of girls either dig it, or really couldn't care less. There are some that prefer dudes with hair, but that exactly the same as a guy having a preference for girls with red hair over girls with blonde hair.

The main things that I've learnt over the last month are that being bald doesn't mean you're sending your boys down below into early retirement. Quite the opposite, with a shaven head my confidence is the highest its been for years. I'm getting compliments on my hair (or, head), I'm finding it so much easier to talk to girls, and they're more receptive. Its all about having confidence in yourself. I've also just got a new job, which I really doubt I'd have been able to get without my new found confidence. So there are benefits all round.

Along with the added bonus of not having to deal with bed hair or hat hair.

Sorry for the long post, but I'm hoping that something in there will help you move past your folicular hang ups.

Its better to be bald than balding.

All the best, dude.

Lee

  Good post there Lee. 

[Scottakist]

Hey bro...

 check this out.
Dont ever be uncomfortable in your own skin
its taylor made just for you.
  Any insecurities you may be feeling, its all inside you.
 everyone feel that way about something.

never ever let the outside world dictate you you feel.
 I look strange as all get out
some self done some nature did to me.
 I have a weird shaped head bro
(spine head some may call it)
so what???
 I cant help it and thats just the way it is
  but its a liberating feeling when your able to conquer those little things in your head.
 you are you no matter if you have hair, no hair, thinning hair.
still the same if your wearing a blue shirt or a black shirt.
 dont have any hesitation to be yourself man
it will look good on you cause either way it will still be you.

[Reddas]

Hey Bro,
I'd like to give you some legit advice from someone who've been in your shoes.

I lost my hair when I was 18, and I'm 21 now... and we are the same height.

Looks, money, and status is what primarily attract women. At our age it's mostly looks and status.

You must decide now if you want to keep your hair, or you want to lose it.

If you decide that you won't fight it - you must be prepared to shave it all off.
To pull this look off you need to have a somewhat decent face, hit the gym, get muscular/ripped, get around 8-10% bodyfat, max out your style, etc... Some even go to the extreme, and do steroids.

Be prepared that you'll attract a niche-type of women who like bald and muscular/athletic men. A shaved head on a muscular body is polarizing, alot of women will reject you, and others will f*ck with you because of it.  While having a full head of hair is universally appealing... No one will say "ewwww. you have hair!!"" since it's the norm.


Option #2 is to fight it

You're 18 and you are only at the NW2 stage, so if this is your choice -  it's time to act before it's too late.
Get on propecia and minoxdril ASAP to stop further hair-loss . It'll make you keep your hair for many more years.

When you have hair, you won't need to shave it every-day. And if you look better with hair then this is the optimal solution.

Why didn't I choose to fight it?
I had no idea about hair-loss, and I discovered my thinning very late.  I was basically too late.
My hair-loss was accelerated and I went pulling off a buzz-cut to having a bald spot + diffuse thinning within 5 months.

It altered my look, but I'm lucky that I can pull it off.


Anyways... check out this thread that discusses the topic about " Hair-loss & Dating women below 30".
Read it with a grain of salt, but there is a lot of truth to the madness in that thread.

http://www.hairlosstalk.com/interact/showthread.php/62828-Women-below-30-are-shallow-and-balding-is-unattractive-Deal-with-it

[CowtownBaldie]

Hey Youngandbalding,

I first shaved it all down to a zero on the electric shaver at 17 when I joined the Army Reserves. It was amazing the way it boosted my confidence. The ladies loved it too! I rocked a buzz cut no more than 1/8 of an inch long for years too. A buzz cut can help give a neater and fuller appearance to your thinning hair. Just think of it as rocking a military cut. Hey man, nothing cooler than a military hairstyle! Most ladies love them!

[Hawksley]

Although I fully understand Reddas' point of trying out some options for maintaining your hair if you're that concerned, I do not think Propecia is ever an intelligent route to take, especially at such a young age. It's quite expensive (a cost well worth it if you want to keep your hair), but subjecting yourself to the potential side effects just isn't worth it, dude.

I'm 22 and have been thinning since about 16 or 17 years old. Last year my hair loss began to get increasingly more and more obvious and it became really evident that my hair was/is going to be very minimal in a matter of a few years. So I, as I'm sure you are also considering, tried Propecia and Minoxidil. The rogaine was an immediate no-go because I have psoriasis and it inflamed the hell out of it. As for the Propecia, it certainly works to slow down the progression of hair loss and did so very effectively for me. However, the warning about sexual dysfunction is NOT limited to the extremely low percentage that they claim it to be. I took the drug for about 4 or 5 months, but have been off of it since August. I am still having erectile problems and just praying that they diminish over time.

Moral of the story, it's only hair and it's not worth risking your sex life for decades and decades (which you would have to do if you started treatment now). Just shave it down really low, get out the blade, or just rock what you have now. It's just not worth the risk, my friend.

I hope it all works out for you. I know it's hard to go through at this young stage of your life. Been there and I truly feel for you. Take care, man.

[Sir Harry]

I understand your pain about losing your hair at such a young age.....I was 26 when I started receding, but I still was able to date when I kept close haircuts and even after shaving it all off because I just never tried to change who I was for anyone. If you just be who you are and don't let anyone try to change you, you will find that special someone. Like the others said, would you rather be a bald guy who can perform (in bed) or a guy with hair who falls short? Good luck to you.