Considering the Big Step - page 1 -

• Considering the Big Step by Sooner Steve on 26 May, 2007 20:24
• I am new to this forum.  This is my first post ever and I need some help.
  
  First off, I am a 43 year old professional.  I started experiencing male patterned baldness when I was 20.  My maternal grandfather was completely bald from the time I was born.  When I started losing my hair, I must be honest, I panicked.  I began wearing a hairpiece at that time.  I have worn a unit since that time.  I have a deal worked out with my barber that he gets me quality units at cost so I have stayed ahead of the curve, so to speak.
  
  However, the continued self consciousness is wearing me out.  I always insist that I sit with my back against the wall anytime I am in a restaurant or in public.  I look at myself in every mirror I pass.  I have carried a brush in my pants pocket for 15 years and am continually wandering if anyone notices my hair.  I have had people ask me before if I wear a unit and some people have figured it out on their own.
  
  A couple of months ago I stumbled upon Head Blade products on the internet because I googled "how to shave your head".  I was interested and ordered some products.  Since the unit I wear comes off every night, I have experimented with shaving the part that is already bald (it has a little bit of hair but not much). 
  
  Anyway, I am strongly considering shaving my head - in fact, I want to shave it.  I think it looks great.  My wife said she supports my decision either way. 
  
  My problem is this:  I am scared to death of seeing everyone in my community for the first time.  I guess if I had never started wearing a hair piece it would not be a big deal.  However, after 23 years it is.
  
  Surely someone in this forum has been in my shoes.  How do you overcome the fear?  I apologize for the length of this post but I hope you can give me some help.  I appreciate your comments.
  
  Thanks in advance.
   
• #1 by SLYinKC on 26 May, 2007 20:42
• Welcomyoue, Steve, glad you found us and joined the site.
   
  I am 43 also, an can relate to alot of the feelings that you have been having.  I truly understand your apprehensions about seeing your friends and acquaintences for the first time.  Just about everyone here seems to have experienced the same feelings.
  
  I can tell you this from my experience,  most of the feelings and fears you are having are probably way overblown to the reality of the actual reactions that you will get if you just do it.  I just came to realize that this was something I needed to do for a long-term solution to all of the anxiety and problems that come with loosing your hair gradually over time.  As someone else has said "you can spend the rest of your life worrying about losing your hair or you can lose it in a day and be done with it.  I can tell you from my experience that the "losing it in a day" is alot better than what you will go through by maintaining your status quo.  Maybe doing over a vacation or long weekend away can help you to adjust and become comfortable with yourself.  The more that you are confident and comfortable with yourself, the more that confidence will be picked-up by all the people you run into.
  
  Best of luck.  I look forward to hearing more from you.
• #2 by Tyler on 26 May, 2007 21:01
• Steve, welcome to Sly Bald Guys!
  
  As SlyinKC said, a lot of the guys on this forum have found out that shaving their head was only a big event in their eyes.  In the eyes of others, it was pretty much a non-event. Sure, there's an occasional positive or negative comment here and there and most of the time it's very positive.  The best part is that many of the guys, including myself, experience a boost in confidence in their self image.
• #3 by Razor X on 26 May, 2007 21:10
• Quote from: soonersteve on 26 May, 2007 20:24

  
  
  My problem is this:  I am scared to death of seeing everyone in my community for the first time.  I guess if I had never started wearing a hair piece it would not be a big deal.  However, after 23 years it is.
  
  Surely someone in this forum has been in my shoes.  How do you overcome the fear?  I apologize for the length of this post but I hope you can give me some help.  I appreciate your comments.
  
  Thanks in advance.
   
  

  
  Hi, Steve.
  
  Welcome to the forum.  Most of us here -- with the exception of a few  who are relatively fearless -- have stood in your shoes.   Taking the plunge is scary and requires a big leap of faith.  It's like standing at the edge of a swimming pool filled with very cold water.  The anticipation of jumping in is scary, but you know you have to do it, and after you do, there might be some momentary discomfort, but within a few minutes you'll feel better.
  
  Reread what you've written.  Clearly you're not happy with the way things are at the moment.  You say you want to shave.  The only other person in the world whose opinion matters -- your wife -- is supporting you in this.  What more do you need?  You have nothing to lose except your insecurities -- and a little hair, of course.   
  
  It's always hard for people who haven't taken the plunge yet to believe this -- I know it was hard for me -- but the reaction generally runs from no reaction to a very positive one.  That was my experience, and person after person has said the same.  The only negative comments I got were from my mom, but eventually she got over it.
  
  Take a deep breath and then start shaving.  You won't regret it and you'll feel much better once you've done what you know you must do.
  
  Best of luck.
  
  
• #4 by Slickdome on 26 May, 2007 21:12
• Hi Steve,
  
  Welcome!  I'll be 43 in a couple of months, and I'm also a professional (physician).   I started shaving my head regularly about 4 years ago.  Although I didn't wear a "unit" for baldness, my decision to become bald-by-choice was something that my friends, family, colleagues, and even patients all supported.  Sure, they were surprised at first...but that lasted only a short time.  Once you adopt the shaved head look on a daily basis, it will become your baseline and no one will even give it a second thought.  Believe me, it's not a big deal in this day in age.  You sound like you're ready to ditch the unit and wear your bald scalp proudly.   You can do the full monty in one fell swoop, or you can ease yourself into it by taking off the unit and buzzing the rest of your hair progressively shorter..until you're a Sly Guy like us.  Either way, I think you owe yourself liberation from the unit.  Go for it, man!
  
  Best wishes,
  
  JJ
• #5 by mikesj on 26 May, 2007 22:26
• Hi Steve,
  Welcome to SBG's, you have come to the right place. I went sly about 6 weeks ago after 13 years of wearing a "unit". I have experienced all of the same feelings you have had...the fear of discovery, sitting in the back, always wondering if the edges are coming up. Not to mention the time and expense for servicing and trying to make it look natural.  All I can say is that taking it off for the last time and shaving it smooth and slick was a liberating experience, and am loving every minute. I will never go back. The responses I have received have been overwhelmingly positive. The first day back to work  was  a little scary, but you will be energized and will wonder what took you so long. I did it just before a 2 week vacation so I could feel comfortable, and that worked really well for me. Also work in a "professional" environment and that is not an issue at all.....am not the only sly guy there.
   There are many little things that I couldn't enjoy because of the "system"...swimming, the breeze on my scalp, a convertible. Head rubs are pretty cool too.
  You've got the HeadBlade products already, seems you have probably made the decision already. I am an avid HeadBlader, use the Headblade sport, HeadShed, HeadSlick, HeadClear and HeadLube.
  Good luck...go for it...you can always grow it back.
• #6 by Kajun on 27 May, 2007 00:31
• welcome to SBG's Steve! you've come to the right place ,i'll sound like an echo here but alot of us has been where you are now with the fear of shaving it and wondering what everyone will think....well let me tell ya it will not be as bad as you think and the feeling of liberation that you will experience will outweight ANY negative or percieved negative comments. your worried about people in your community, well let me tell ya something..they prob already know you wear a unit and when you go sly they will say "whew.. he finally got rid of that damn rug!" and will be happy for you...some may be alil shocked but at this point in your life its time to do things that will make  you feel good and to hell with the rest of the world.if you were like me..your tired and weary of the hassle of tryin to hide your head , your so close to liberation that you can taste it.
   
  
  a tip i'd give ya is grow a goatee before you shave..definetly have some time off or before a weekend to give yourself time to adjust to it...once you shave go do five 15min tanning sessions to add alil color then wear sunscreen the rest of the time.
  
  remember these words...." i can't believe i waited so long"....you'll be saying them very soon.
• #7 by browny on 27 May, 2007 01:20
• Looking forward to seeing your photo.  You will get good supportive advice here.  Let us know how it goes.
• #8 by schro on 27 May, 2007 07:29
• Welcome, Sooner.
  I really can't add anything that already hasn't been said previously. The fact that your wife supports your decision is awesome! My wife can't stand my look. I am disappointed that she doesn't, but I have gotten over that. I went SLY for me! This is important to note because it really is a personal as opposed to a group decision. I can tell you it's truly liberating. Carrying a brush? NO. Worrying about a stiff breeze? NO. Worrying about getting out of a pool? HA! I love getting out of the pool with a slick dome. Getting head rubs from 3 hot chicks at the same time (ages 21, 23, and 27)? UH HUH....(ok, maybe you shouldn't tell your wife that one). Being proud of your appearance? HELL YES! 
  
  Before going sly, I was always reaching for a baseball hat. Now I LOVE going out in public showing off the dome. Like everyone else on this board, I can't recommend shaving it off enough.
  
  Good Luck.
  Schro (age 41)
• #9 by Paul on 27 May, 2007 07:51
• Welcome soonersteve to the forum.  The others have already said it very well, so there is little to add other than to say I am bald by choice so going out and being seen by colleagues, family and friends the first time had me really nervous too.  But like the other sly guys have said, it was generally no big deal.  And the few family or friends who were shocked/opposed soon found that I was happy and very confident being sly and now are very accepting.  GO FOR IT...you won't regret it and it does grow back.
• #10 by KALBO on 27 May, 2007 07:55
• Welcome to SBGs, soonersteve!
  
  I echo what everyone else has been saying.  I didn't wear a unit...but always had a hat on. After going SLY I was hesitant to take it off in public...and that lasted about a day(if that).
  
  Again, like most have mentioned...after you go SLY...you'll wonder why it took so long!
• #11 by Ian on 27 May, 2007 08:23
• Quote from: soonersteve on 26 May, 2007 20:24

  
  Anyway, I am strongly considering shaving my head - in fact, I want to shave it.  I think it looks great.  My wife said she supports my decision either way. 
  
  My problem is this:  I am scared to death of seeing everyone in my community for the first time.  I guess if I had never started wearing a hair piece it would not be a big deal.  However, after 23 years it is.
  

  
  Welcome to the forum....
  Its good that you have a supportive wife,remember its your decision & if its what you want to do then be proud of it & dont worry about other peoples views (you will find people think you look alot better)
• #12 by YOSP on 27 May, 2007 10:25
• Steve, welcome to the site  , as you probably see already this is definitely the place to come to for the support if you need it. There are some great guys here that will share their same experiences and will help you see that you are not alone. After you get past the initial headshaving, you can than go to other topics which will help to get past all the worrying and see that there are tons of more things to be thinking about or worrying about.
  
  I can say with honesty that I found this site as a great place to see the light...I wore a "system" for 7-8yrs because of my insecurity, worried all the time if anyone could tell, sat in the last row at church or other events, no pool, no amusement rides, and a hat always at the beach. I let it totally consume me and it got way out of control, I had been thinking about the "sly" look and after seeing it almost everywhere, I knew that the time was now or never and that it wouldn't be looked at as some out of the norm "look".
  
  I have been shaving for more than a month and I love it. I honestly do, I don't even know when the last time I wore a hat was. The window is always done and I can't wait to go to the beach. I feel completely confident and I am no longer worrying if people are trying to figure something out about me. It is like a huge "system-wearing" monkey is off my back, not to mention the extra $$$ in my bank account monthly now is like a raise for me, just wish I would have done it sooner.
  
  The only "minor" drawback for me is that I am very pale, and it took me a couple weeks for the shaved part to blend in with the rest of me, other than that, I am FREE.
  
  So, lastly, go for it, deal with the initial "different" look, or comments so to speak, and eventually you and everyone else will get used to it, sooner than you think, and it will be one less thing you will have to worry about, and from your post it will be one "huge" worry....
  
  Good Luck, and let us know what happens....    
• #13 by Sooner Steve on 27 May, 2007 20:00
• A HUGE THANK YOU to each and every one of you who replied.  I had no idea I had this much support from people who don't know me.  I truly appreciate hearing your stories - especially you guys who have left the hair piece behind.  All of you have given some great ideas for planning my "unveiling".  I am strengthened by your support and comments.  I hope to be as sly as everyone here within the next week.  Thanks to all and I will be back to tell you how it goes.
  
  I am also looking forward to being a contributor on this board.  I just found it last night and have found some really great threads.  SBG is the best.
• #14 by BaldRob on 28 May, 2007 07:50
• Hi and welcome Steve!
  
  Everyone who has responded has pretty much got all the bases covered...  I had MPB (look in the gallery), but never wore a piece and wore a lot of hats, which are now collecting dust.
  
  I got to the point where I was shaving with clippers about once a week and then finally said the hell with it.  I grabbed my razor and took it all off... that was almost 3 years ago and never once have I looked back!  Also being a professional and working in an office environment at the time, I was a little concerned, but there were no negative reactions at all.
  
  Good luck with your decision to sly it up!!
  
  Rob (Almost 40)