I'm fearful in two ways

• I'm fearful in two ways by NoHairClub on 04 Sep, 2012 00:01
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  I'm in a situation that I thought I would never be in.  For the past 17 years, I have been wearing a hair system. And to go with that, I have been in a loving  relationship with my partner (male) for the past 13 years.  When I first told Terry about  wearing a hair system, he didn't seem to give a rat's *%#  one way or the other.  In fact, he said he love bald head men and has gently nagged me to do away with the "rug" thing in a humorous way.  However, having the low esteem I have about myself, I never put much effort on my part to do away with this hair system and go back to my roots as my Black's friends would say.
  
  On July 23, Terry was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. The doctors think they have caught this in the early stage ( 3 lymph nodes only) and thank God, not in his brain. They wasted no time in aggressively starting chemotherapy and radiation treatments. As a result of these treatments, Terry started losing his beautiful salt and pepper hair along with his mustache and goatee. I have never seen Terry without a mustache in these 13 years, much less being bald.  However, even in all of this crap, Terry keep up his sense of humor and jokes about being an onion head.
  
  I have been doing some soul searching these last weeks and have come to the conclusion that if Terry can handle this life alternating event in his life, I should be man enough to step up and do my part and show some solitary. I have already set a date on the calender for my coming out as a born again, bald headed man, for September 8.  I realize this is going to be difficult, but at 56, I need to start thinking about others in my life, instead of my hair and how people are going to receive me. Besides, I'm not the one with cancer!
  
  So, keep Terry in your thoughts and wish me luck as I go into this new (well, not really new for me) journey. Thanks so much for letting me vent as I don't have anyone to talk do about this. I know you guys know where I'm coming from.   Note to self: Think of the money I will be saving not having to buy hair, glue,tape, hair products, etc.
  
  Best Regards to you all,
  John
  
• #1 by nuts on 04 Sep, 2012 01:31
• All the best to Terry and hope he recovers soon and completely.  I had radiation for prostate a few years ago and it is just one of those things they we need to cope with as we go through life's journey.
  
  I think you have already made the right decision to go sly  - why wait until 8 Septembber.  Get rid of the rug - no one is ever fooled - and grasp the razor and do the deed.  As you say think of all the money you will save.
  
  Good  luck and keep us posted - plus pic.  Keep to the 30 day rule.
  
   
• #2 by leighmundo40 on 04 Sep, 2012 01:36
• What you are doing is a REALLY brave thing. Youve made the decision and just work towards it at your own pace.
  
  This site is fantastic for support and advice. Let us know how things go.
• #3 by Beardman on 04 Sep, 2012 02:24
• Firstly welcome to the family John, you have certainly found a very friendly and helpful community here.
  
  I'm sorry to hear about your partner, and wish him a speedy and full recovery.
  
  I am glad to hear you are throwing away the hair piece and coming to the sly side, you will feel so much better with yourself for it! There is no reason that shaving your head should be difficult at any age, it is all in your mind... and you will feel a bit silly you didn't do it sooner, I know I do, even at the age of 25!
  
  When you finally do the deed, stick to the 30 day rule and remember to share a photo with us 
  
  Best of luck with everything and I hope you become an active member of the forums
• #4 by Sir Harry on 04 Sep, 2012 03:44
• Welcome, John! I think it is a very unselfish act for you to give up the rugs and plugs for the sake of your partner...Terry is sincerely in my prayers, and we wish him a speedy recovery....You are lucky to have a supportive partner who cares about you and not your hair.
• #5 by Frontier Guy on 04 Sep, 2012 04:18
• Welcome John,
  
  Good healing/recovery thoughts to Terry. Despite the miracles of modern medicine, it is unfortunate that we occasionally have to experience awful diseases, and learn more than we need to about them. Continued improvement.
  
  I'm a year older than you and shaved back in May (Bald By Choice, to get rid of the gray - no salt and pepper here). It was the most positively transforming thing that I've done for myself in decades. The feeling of "disconnecting" from hair maintenance (whether it be regular barber appointments or artificial hair adjustments) is great.
  
  My guess is you will be awestruck at the unexpected sense of self which emerges from within.
  
  Commit to the 30-day challenge: shave daily for 30 days which does a lot of things. It integrates head shaving into your daily routine, you'll develop the new motor skills for head shaving, your scalp will become accustomed to the attention its getting, and you and those around you will become accustomed to the "new you."
  
  Now that you've decided to shave this coming Saturday, don't be surprised if you decide to do it sooner. I'd planned a date, but ultimately couldn't wait and moved it forward several days. It's like an itch, once you've got it ... you've got to scratch it.
  
  Stick around. This is a great community with encouragement, diverse opinions, great senses of humor.
  
  Positive thoughts to you and Terry as you navigate this detour in life.
• #6 by Hingatao on 04 Sep, 2012 11:25
• Welcome to the club, John. I hope Terry does well with his treatment.
• #7 by TheSlyBear on 04 Sep, 2012 13:14
• Best wishes for your partner and a speedy recovery!
  
  As for you, congrats on making a decision that you will not regret. Once free of the "system" you will feel better about yourself than you can possibly imagine now. We can all tell you about it, but you will need to experience it yourself.
  
  I have no doubt that your primary thought will be "Why the f**k didn't I do this sooner?"