Why are some people so shallow minded

[justtom]

So i was at a get together last night with a bunch of old Friends and some family members and out of no where my younger Sister who is 42 years old myself being 47 yells Tommy you got your right ear pierced now you have them booth done? I looked at her and said yes there captain obvious. Now there is a small group of us at the table and she says that means your gay,I give her the stupid look and let it go. About 5 min later she start laughing her ass of and proceeds to start reading from her iphone a quote that booth ears mean your gay and keeps pushing the subject,mind you my wife two Daughters,3 year old-grandson and people I have not seen in years including total strangers and unknown to her a lesbian couple where present.I also need to add that when she first saw me she asked why i shaved my head and that i look like a cancer patent (we lost both are Parents to cancer and why she would go there is beyond me) and then asked my wife why she let me do that (like my Wife has a say in what i do to myself she only gets a opinion on what i do),BUT yet her Husband is SLY himself.Now late into the evening she starts bashing on my new found life style of living the Vegetarian way,saying that i am totally wasting my time and that i should eat the good foods that being meat because i am going to die anyway and starts going on about how beans are disgusting and vegetables are gross bla bla bla how could any body put Tofu in there mouth and that how she only eats a salad about once a month and only when her and my brother-n-law go out to eat.Now she is a easy 100lbs over weight and her husband is just obese tipping the scale at 350-400 lbs and on a boatload of meds and was just told that he needs to have knee surgery done due to his overweight and was released from his job just two weeks ago as a prison guard untill his health improves he also can barely get up from a chair.Now it gets even more interesting when the subject comes up about the upcoming presidential election her belief is that its stupid to vote because they are all crooks and liars and that what happens- happens that we have no control they are going to do what they want and starts bashing are country.I come to find out she has not voted since Dad forced her to when she was 18 yrs old.She is one of three Sisters and by far the most sallow minded one not that the others are much better.We where invited to her house today for a BBQ and i am pretty sure i will not be going or i will be tearing her a new Ass and that will just get ugly and bring on problems.One last thing i forgot was that she made a statement on the lines of you will next be joining the Scientology cult. I let that one go it was late and i had my fill with her ignorance and i was not about to tell her that for the last 6+ months that i have been doing much reading and research about Taoism and Buddhism. I was waiting for her to start questioning my choice of Sobriety for two years now along with smoke free life.

[tomgallagher]

Wow, holy shite, I don't know where to begin. You have my sympathy.

[Mikekoz13]

Tom..... You've probably seen this quote from me before but I'll say it again...

"The world is full of dumb asses.... Don't let a dumb ass ruin your day".   And yes this extends to Family members.

[Sir Harry]

Tom....must be painful....It's easy to tell friends with that attitude to fuxx off, but unfortunately, blood is forever. You and your sister are in my prayers that you can all get this straightened out. As I have said in previous posts/threads don't entertain stupidity, let stupidity entertain you! Good luck, man.

[justtom]

Tom....must be painful....It's easy to tell friends with that attitude to fuxx off, but unfortunately, blood is forever. You and your sister are in my prayers that you can all get this straightened out. As I have said in previous posts/threads don't entertain stupidity, let stupidity entertain you! Good luck, man.

In my eyes there is nothing to be straightened out she truly lives in her own little shallow bubble and she will never change her ways I think she is very week and influenced by the week and closed minded company she keeps and i also believe she is jealous of the fact that i continue to grow and change daily and have such a great love for life and my family ever since I became sober 2yrs ago while she does not.I like your saying don't entertain stupidity, let stupidity entertain you!Iam defiantly going to be using that and practicing it.

[Laser Man]

Tom,

I think you hit the nail on the head.  Your sister has known you all her life and now you are changing in ways she can't fathom.  Instead of being supportive, she's making rude and sarcastic comments, trying to embarrass you back into being the way you used to be.  Look on her with some sympathy, but don't go back on what you are doing.  My advice is that you don't react to her comments.  When she sees they are having no effect, she may stop.  Even if she doesn't, you'll have proven yourself to be the better person and everyone will admire you for it.

[justtom]

npsbg I did not actually realize that was what i was saying (scratching my head) but man you Hit it on the head and Thank you I totally see it now and understand it.Thank you again.

[Ming the Merciless]

We have to realize (as our daily life constantly teaches us) that jerkitude is not an uncommon trait.  Some of us exhibit it rarely (I doubt if there are too many complete angels), some occasionally, and for some it's a lifestyle, fervently exhibited 24/7.  You might ask, "How can you be a shallow jerk when you are sleeping?"  I'm sure that pure jerks have jerkish dreams.

Be careful: There's a jerk closer than you think.  Unfortunately sometimes they are relatives and often unavoidable, as you have found.  I have a nephew...  who, luckily, lives many states away from me, but, unfortunately, lives in the same town as my brother. When we Skype, my brother sighs.

[Hingatao]

I've found from personal experience that (usually) the best way to deal with people like that is to ignore them. In this case, since she's family, maintain just the bare minimum of contact but let her I initiate it and keep any responses as short and polite as possible. Other than that she doesn't deserve your attention.

[justtom]

Did i do something in my settings or am i not looking right but i don't see my post showing up on the general discussion topics I no its there cuz i can find it by searching my posts from within my profile.

[Free at Last]

 Wow.......Tom
Holy crap....
 There are millions of people who live a pessimistic life.
Luckily you get it.
 My girlfriend always says "You cant fix stupid"
I also learned long ago that some people dont want to work on
making their building the tallest in town.
So they try knocking everyone else's down when ever they feel threatened.
 You however seem anchored quite well. Stay on track
 Here is some optimism for ya......  C.A.N.I.,   Which means :
Constant And Neverending Improvement
 I have this framed and hung on the wall in my house

[Frontier Guy]

Rather an interesting evening to be sure. Although I'm sure it was awkward, I sense you are strong enough to just let it roll off, and I'm sure the others saw her ravings as sheer lunacy.

As alluded to above, I think she's quite jealous of you because your life just gets better and better. And probably the Sly look and the added ear piercing were enough to push her over the edge - seething jealousy would be my untrained diagnosis.

And it proves ... you can pick you friends, but you sure can't pick your relatives.

More power to you and your family.

[buddha]

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof."
Richard Bach

One of my favorite sayings. Your post has borne this out yet again. Sad. Very sad.

I have had very little trouble walking away from family members in my life. I prefer to have a small group of people that I trust to consider as my family than be burdened by people intent on dumping their personal trash in my lap.

[mahaw90]

I'd tell her to sling her hook and never to speak to me again. She sounds like the sort of person who would really get on my tits.