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Head rubs by guys with MPB.....what to make of them? by Sir Harry on 28 Jul, 2012 22:02
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Yesterday, I went to substitute bowl for one of my friends who was on vacation.....I knew many of the people there, so I felt at home...While I was sitting at the table, two ladies (both of whom I knew) rubbed my head about 10 minutes apart from each other. I was relaxed, I mean I'll take a woman's touch on my noggin anywhere I can get it...Later, one of the guys whom I knew casually walks past and rubs my head......then another guy who is a friend's father, grabbed me in a headlock and knuckled me in the head then he stretched his palm across my cranium and said "I can see my reflection!" The first guy had an afro, but he had a "Donut Hole" in the center...Guy 2 (my friend's dad)..has a full blown horseshoe so bad, if there was an 8 on the Norwood Scale, he would make history! The other two guys on my friend's team said, "He would have had his teeth for lunch if he would have done me that" and "You're a bigger man than me!"...My personal take: Prior to joining this site I would have let both guys have it or at the very least a nasty verbal confrontation....but now, as an SBG member, I've learned to go unfazed about random head rubs, but I'm still wary of strange people I don't know doing so. Back then I would have said something like "I'm not a kid don't play with me like that" But now, when I get a head rub from an MPB guy who won't shave I view it as: 1. He's friendly. 2. He's envious. 3. He wants to know what it would look/feel like on him or 4. All of the above. So since you have gone sly, has a guy with MPB(family/partners don't count) ever rubbed your head, and if so what was your take on it? (Side Note: This could also apply to a guy with a full head of hair too, but I don't remember any recent head rubs from a guy with a full head of hair.)
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#1 by Frontier Guy on 28 Jul, 2012 22:07
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Interesting experience.
I've not had any guys do the head rub yet. But with the self-awareness developed as a result of this site I don't think I'd be too concerned as long as I knew the person.
There are bigger problems in the world (even in my little corner of it) than a head rub from a guy. -
#2 by wonderer on 28 Jul, 2012 23:45
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sirharry 12 man i don't see why anyone should fear to see their own reflection
-maybe that's because he think he is ugly 
-they are only jealous man ...in my wider family it is widely accepted to sport the donut look and i don't even like to eat donuts 
so I will respect their opinion but it is really my head -and i find healing even to make a joke from time to time on my expense -but sometimes people go too far with their comments and thing soon becomes really boring ,two comments in particular "brave thing since you shave your head "- no I am not brave this just came for me naturally why should i be a victim of circumstances when i can be free -one more thing i don't think anymore is MPB and the other comment is ever popular " let your hair grow you only have deep sideburns "(that one is the funniest because if i use that logic my uncle is not bald at all he is just sporting 20 cm hair parting on his head )
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#3 by Mikekoz13 on 30 Jul, 2012 10:30
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Honestly.... I don't think anyone has the right to invade anyone else's personal space uninvited. Comments are one thing but as soon as you put your hands on someone else a line has been crossed.
I have a sharp sense of humor and laugh at about everything..... but to me this is not funny. The invasion of your personal space is bad enough but this is more than that. This is a blatant attempt to embarass you. If this were two kids it would be bullying. I'd have a little one-on-one with each of these guys and tell them that the next time they touch you uninvited the result could be painful for them.
The head rub would have been met with a firm swat and the statement "Don't do that again" (delivered calmly).
The headlock would have called for a physical reply which would have caused him to let me go.
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#4 by Natedawg on 30 Jul, 2012 11:29
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Honestly.... I don't think anyone has the right to invade anyone else's personal space uninvited. Comments are one thing but as soon as you put your hands on someone else a line has been crossed.
I'm with Mike on this one. If you are anything less than completely comfortable with the way someone is touching or handling you, they should be corrected immediately. As for the second dude, who actually grabbed you, well... I would have floored him right quick. Whether his intention was malicious or not, you just don't do that kind of thing to people.
I will say though, kudos to you for taking it all in stride, Harry.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, head rubs from anyone (man or woman) who is anything other than a close friend or family member would be weird. That's just me, though. Luckily, no one but the females from my wife's side of our family really ever touches my head, so it's never been an issue for me.
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#5 by stasiu on 30 Jul, 2012 12:49
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Several friends are MPB and a few totally shave what's left while a couple keep the fringe no guard buzzed. In good humour we rub each other's foreheads occasionally but that's it. Un-invited head rubs and such is very unsanitary and I will just leave it at that. Being short (only 5'6" tall), I've experience this head rub issue ever since a kid when I got those mandatory summertime clippershaves and got teased with head scrubs from friends and classmates. During the balding process this one so-called friend would run his hand over my thinning hair until one day I very gently put my hand in his crotch and said "please, let my remaining hair rest in peace". Intimacy head rubs with spouse/partner is one thing, but public head rubs needs to be corrected.
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#6 by Sir Harry on 30 Jul, 2012 15:24
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I guess why I didn't make it a big deal beacuse I did know them all....The last guy, however did go a bit too far with the headlock, but by him being about 6'5" 270, my only option would have been to probably hit him in the almonds. That said, if this was a one-time thing (for all of them), I'll let it slide, But if there is a next time, the ahole in me might just come out....I don't mind head rubs, but at least have the decency to ask.
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#7 by Mikekoz13 on 30 Jul, 2012 15:52
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but by him being about 6'5" 270, my only option would have been to probably hit him in the almonds.
I'll tell you something my Dad told me when I was a kid that I've never forgotten..... and I quote:
"Don't ever start a fight but if someone starts one with you, beat the Hell out of them. If they're bigger than you, pick something up and beat the Hell out of them with it."
End Quote
Personally, I've found that many times all you have to do is intimidate someone a little and let them know that you aren't afraid and that you're not going to back down. Most will turn and whimper off. -
#8 by tomgallagher on 30 Jul, 2012 16:02
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A head rub is one thing but a headlock is totally out of the question Harry.
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#9 by TheSlyBear on 30 Jul, 2012 17:25
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Personally, I've found that many times all you have to do is intimidate someone a little and let them know that you aren't afraid and that you're not going to back down. Most will turn and whimper off.
Well put. As a shorter guy I had to learn this the hard way growing up. Bullies are cowards and the best way to deal one is to call their bluff. Yeah, I got my ass handed to me a lot, but mostly they'd just shuffle off in confusion. -
#10 by Sir Harry on 30 Jul, 2012 18:33
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I ran into my friend after work today (the one whose father had me in the headlock). I told him what happened, and I explained to him that, while I'm sure he didn't mean any harm, and the headlock didn't hurt, the point is that an almost 60 year old man giving a 40 year old a headlock is something that you do in high school, but not in a public place as an adult. I thought my friend would get defensive about his dad, but he said "My dad can be such a jerk, and on his behalf, he thought it was funny, but I want to apologize". I told him it was all good and I just said that next time, I won't be so passive about it. He said "My dad doesn't have very many friends and he wants to shave his head so badly, but he can't because he has diabetes"...My friend was a little emotional when he was saying "My dad may leave this world with the worst case MPB and no friends if he doesn't improve". I felt a little bad at first but then I let my friend know where I stood and my friend said he would talk to his dad. Headrubs I can endure (upon request from strangers) but headlocks are a no-no no matter your age or size. Oh well, three days removed from this I'm ready to move on....but I will be prepared next time for unwelcome head rubs.
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#11 by Hingatao on 30 Jul, 2012 21:44
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With the (obvious) exception of my bf, I don't think I'd be comfortable letting another guy rub my head regardless of how well I know him or if he asked first. It just seems weird to me.
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#12 by cmhbob on 04 Oct, 2012 18:33
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Diabetes? I missed something. Why should diabetes affect shaving? And let me know quick, because I'm diabetic.
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#13 by Sir Harry on 04 Oct, 2012 19:22
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Diabetes? I missed something. Why should diabetes affect shaving? And let me know quick, because I'm diabetic.
I guess my friend meant that if his dad cut himself.....who knows...Bob, if this is too personal to answer, I understand, but what happens should you cut yourself shaving as a diabetic? FWIW, my grandad had a donut hole and was diabetic but he refused to shave his head, and would only shave with clippers... -
#14 by cmhbob on 04 Oct, 2012 23:58
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Eh, I bleed. And there's a slightly increased risk of infections in general. But I've never heard something like "don't shave." Weird.