Straddling the fence and it hurts! - page 1 -

• Straddling the fence and it hurts! by TJ on 16 Jul, 2012 19:34
• Hi guys,
  
  42 with thinning hair and considering shaving it all off. I have just been thinking about those first few days and am kind of dreading it.
  
  First, I've been wondering exactly how, assuming I get the nerve, how do I jump off the fence to the sly side. There's a great old time barbershop here and they have straight razors and every other kind of razors. I think they'll shave a head and perhaps even teach me the ropes. I'll check on that.
  
  So if I get the nerve, go to the barbershop, and get my chrome dome, how do I start out? Do I go to the drug store and get a certain razor and cream, do I shave every day? What about nicks and cuts? I don't really know anyone who is a sly bald guy.
  
  How do you get the nerve to walk into church that first time or go into the office? I don't think I'd care about going out in public if I'm among total strangers.
  
  I'm married and happy and wife would probably be perfectly fine with it, and I doubt the rest of the family would care. Nevertheless, I do wonder how it would be having to listen to "you cut off your hair!"
  
  I also don't want the horse shoe look. Is there a way to shave so closely that it does not show at all? Does shaving daily do it? My hair is dark brown. If I get the nerve, I just want to go right to the skin and not have any sort of horse shoe or whatever it's called.
  
  Guys thank you very much. Appreciate the help. Sorry for all the questions but I feel even from my brief time that there's a good brotherhood here.
  
  Tim
  
  
• #1 by Laser Man on 16 Jul, 2012 19:56
• TJ,
  
  Look around the site and you'll see many threads that will answer your questions about shaving equipment and techniques.   A lot of it is experimentation to find what works for you.  Nicks are not uncommon at first, but you'll get the hang of shaving pretty quickly.
  
  Now to the bigger questions.  If you are thinking about it, try it otherwise the curiosity will drive you crazy.  Shaving your head is simply another haircut, albeit a very close one.  If you don't like it, your hair will grow back fairly fast. 
  
  Yes, it's a big change and others will ask you why, but guess what? In a few days, they'll accept your new look and it won't be a novelty.  One thing we'll all tell you is that you'll get a boost in self-confidence once you've tried sly.  So consider joining us!
  
  
• #2 by Frontier Guy on 16 Jul, 2012 20:11
• Great questions Tim ... and I don't see a one that the guys around here can't answer from personal experience. Everyone's perspective will be different, so here's mine.
  
  First ... I think having the barbershop do your first shave would be awesome. What a terrific memory and environment - that's really a "man's man" initiation to being sly. On the other hand, you can use clippers to cut your hair as short as you can and then shave the rest yourself. Not nearly as much fun. Or - I went to my barber and she did it with "no guard" on the clippers and then I came home and shaved. They all work ... but were it me, I'd go for the barbershop shave. Wish I'd thought of that!
  
  Shaving from then on ... you don't need anything special. Just a good shave gel (not foam) and a razor which you can maneuver easily. The key is to go easy - no pressure. With the grain at first. And depending on how that feels you can then go "against the grain" (often abbreviated WTG and ATG 'round here). There are lots of discussions about razors and who likes which one best.
  
  I started with the HeadBlade (available in several major drug stores, also online at Amazon, and if you click their ads here it will take you to the headblade website and you'll get a 20% referral discount). I've only used the HeadBlade and doubt I will try anything else because I really like it. It takes all the guess work out of angles and such - just like driving a little car across your scalp. If you use it ... no pressure on it for the first few weeks.
  
  When you read the other topics you'll see mentions of exfoliants, aftershaves, ice cube rubs, and all such. You can explore those if you wish and when you wish. Not necessary at the beginning ... and maybe ever. The only one I do is the exfoliant.
  
  I think the biggest concern most of us had is "the reaction." What will people think or say. I have two jobs, so I had two crowds to contend with. Other than some surprised looks and a few questions ... absolutely no one cared. It's not like I was the first bald guy on the planet.
  
  For me, I felt an incredible sense of self-confidence emerge which was unexpected - I wasn't balding (yet) but I wanted to get rid of the gray. I'm a bit of a jokester, so whenever anyone asked about my new "haircut" I told them I'd gone to the barber and asked her just to "trim off the gray" and this is what happened. It puts people at ease and we move on.
  
  I should warn you, though, about one thing which I was totally unprepared for. And no one had warned me either. That is, the unexpected requests to rub my head! It's happened quite a few times much to my amazement. Absolutely astonishing! Talk about another confidence booster!
  
  It sounds like you are ready, but I'm concerned when you wrote your wife "would probably be perfectly fine" ... although it really is your decision, it would be nice to know for certain what her feelings are. You'll be in a better position - whether she likes it or not - if you know her position.
  
  And then ... just go for it. Commit to the 30 days of daily shaving. You'll find that little bit of extra "me" time is really great. The feeling of a freshly shaved slick scalp is really indescribable. The first week or two it's going to take quite a while (for me it was about 30 minutes) and then it quickly reduced to about 10 minutes (after 8 weeks). I don't want to go too fast because I enjoy the ritual very much.
  
  And if you get a poor reaction from someone remember this: First, it's your head and your decision. Second, they may be showing their own insecurities about hairloss. Third, they may be extraordinarily envious of your courage to go sly and wear it proudly.
  
  For me, this past year has been one of mass transformation on many fronts. Going sly 8 weeks ago was really the crowning touch (pun unintended, but appropriate).
  
  My last words of advice (you can see I tend to ramble). Don't overthink it. It is not nearly as big an ordeal as you expect it to be.
  
  Be sure and get some pictures taken at the barbershop. That's so cool.
  
  Welcome to SBG. Keep us posted on how things go.
• #3 by Hingatao on 16 Jul, 2012 22:46
• Hey, TJ.
  
  I had all the same concerns you do before I went sly. I'd been thinking about it for a long time but was concerned about how I'd look and the reaction I'd get. It wasn't until I got a buzz cut back in early June that a sly friend suggested that I do it. I mentioned it to a few co-workers and got nothing but encouragement. I went sly the next day. (It was a big shock for my boy friend, though, cuz I didn't warn him. I saw him a day later and it was, like, "SURPRISE!!") I've been sly for almost six weeks now and I've heard nothing but positive comments or indifference.
  
  My advice would be to mention your intentions to your wife and co-workers and see what they say. You might be pleasantly surprised at their responses. Ultimately, though, it's like frontierguy said: it's your head and your choice. The only person who has to be happy with your decision is you.
  
  Good luck and welcome to the club.
• #4 by waine on 16 Jul, 2012 23:45
• Hey there TJ, welcome to this forum.  You are at the right place for advice and support.
  
  Npsbg and Frontier guy have said it all.  Give yourself a fair chance at being Sly, there is an extremely good chance you may enjoy it.  Good luck, and don't be shy to ask any questions...
• #5 by Beardman on 17 Jul, 2012 02:41
• Hey mate, just as said earlier, you have certainly come to the right place for all your head shaving information. Take a look around and read some other peoples stories. You will find so many stories of people in the same position as you, and see how much better we all feel when we actually "do the deed". There really is no better feeling then being slick, sly and free!
  
  As for your questions, you don't really need a special razor, I started off with a schick hydro 5 and was doing fine with it, it is a bit tricky at first holding the razor properly but you will pick it up really quick. I now use the Headblade and absolutely love it, I believe it is something that every sly guy should try at least once, if you don't like it you can always try a new razor. I as for creams, I use Headslick and it is amazing, it gives a nice frictionless cut.
  
  I don't think you will get a single bad comment on your sly new look, I got a few smart remarks, but I think that kind of goes with the territory, 99% of the people will either not say anything at all or be really positive.
  
  The best advice I can give you though is: Just do it! Take the leap and go sly, you will thank yourself later for it.
  
  PS, I totally love the old style barbershop idea, when I went sly I got my mum and sister to shave it for me so that was pretty special to me. But I would have loved the old style shave too!
  
  I look forward to seeing some before and after shots, and maybe some action shots form the barbershop too!
• #6 by Sir Harry on 17 Jul, 2012 05:00
• Welcome, TJ! As with any life-changing event, going sly is going to have some concerns....don't feel bad it's perfectly normal....I would go for it on a day when you are off the next day or on vacation or something. This way your family and close friends can adjust to you being sly. Trust me when you go out in public 99.99999% of people won't care because it's almost commonplace....There are plenty of razors and products to help you out you just have to find out which works best for you Thanks for joining and Good Luck!
• #7 by mangosink12572 on 17 Jul, 2012 08:57
• Do it  - - -It grows back if you don't like it  - - -Believe me there is nothing like a BALD SHINY DOME. I am sure you will enjoy it - - - -and so will everybody else  - - -You have to be happy with it FIRST.   and others will follow.
• #8 by bennett11 on 17 Jul, 2012 09:40
• buzz it closer and closer and then shave.  People you know will get used to it - maybe a comment or two initially and then it is simply you.
• #9 by D.A.L.U.I. on 17 Jul, 2012 10:10
• Quote from: TJ on 16 Jul, 2012 19:34

  Hi guys,
  
  42 with thinning hair and considering shaving it all off. I have just been thinking about those first few days and am kind of dreading it.
  
  How do you get the nerve to walk into church that first time or go into the office? I don't think I'd care about going out in public if I'm among total strangers.
  
  I'm married and happy and wife would probably be perfectly fine with it, and I doubt the rest of the family would care. Nevertheless, I do wonder how it would be having to listen to "you cut off your hair!"
  
  I also don't want the horse shoe look.
  

  Let's just deal with the basics--it's thinning & you're 42--without a picture it's hard to tell, but one thing is absolute--mpd never reverses course, never.  You're becoming a bald guy--doesn't change who you are, or anything other than hair, and just the hairline.  So, based on that what are your choices.  Going around with a fringe--ages a guy, but maybe it's you, it wasn't for me or most of the guys here.  Buzzing it really tight, works for some guys.  Shaving it--that's what a lot of the guys here did. 
  First time out with the dome, well it's interesting some, such as myself, only got praise and frankly admiration for doing it.  Except in my case for the wife, she's never been keen on it, but in reality she keeps remembering the guy with hair, so she's learned to live with it.  Church--it's strange there.  The priest at my church has a combover, he's 75 or so, and said the first time he saw me with a scraped grape, "My wife has asked me why I don't try it!"  So, bald, hair or not, we shouldn't be in church to judge others anyway I think.  And if others choose to judge you and to do so in a negative fashion, remember, some one said, "Judge not lest ye be judged!"  So, if they choose to do so, also remember it's "Love thy neighbor as thyself" although the guy that said that couldn't have had the odd balls I've had as neighbors and acquaintances through my life.   
  Finally, with dark hair, no matter how close you shave, you'll have a "shadow".  And, if truth be known only another sly guy will notice that anyway.  If you don't shave you'll wind up with a hairy toilet seat--not much of an alternative, IMO.
  Shave it, get on with life and Live Free & Sly.  The feeling of freedom is going to blow you away. 
• #10 by waine on 17 Jul, 2012 10:32
• Hi there SaintC, a nice read...thanks...
• #11 by Mr Jules on 17 Jul, 2012 11:37
• Quote from: saintc on 17 Jul, 2012 10:10

  Shave it, get on with life and Live Free & Sly.  The feeling of freedom is going to blow you away. 
  

  
  You took the words out of my mouth.
  
  
• #12 by nuts on 17 Jul, 2012 16:53
• Hi Tim
  
  Frontier Guy has perfactly summed up all the great positives you will get out of shaving your head.  Liberating, boost to confidence etc.  His reply should be enshrined for all to read.
  
  Take the first step and enjoy your new life.
• #13 by baldjoeg on 17 Jul, 2012 19:29
• Welcome TJ,
  
  I recommend gong to a barber for a straight razor shave the first time. I enjoy doing so every now and then just to be pampered. Frontier guy, beardman and siant c have given you some great advice.
  
  Good luck to you. I hope that you will enjoy the great feel;ing that you will experience once you go sly. I sure have.
  
  Looking forward to seeing a picture soon.
  
  Take care and good luck.
  
  baldjoeg
• #14 by xabydaddy on 19 Jul, 2012 14:11
• Go for it... the positive responses will far outweigh any knuckleheads' opinions!