Bald Man Laws

[lockman]

At no time should a sly bald guy wear a speedo at the beach.

[Tyler]

I second that!

[PigPen]

All in favor?

AYE!

[Robmeister]

At no time should a sly bald guy wear a speedo at the beach.

Lockman....I've got a sobering revelation for you....sorry brutha...

You ready?...

here it is.....





You're going to fit in around here just fine!!

[David]

At no time should a sly bald guy wear a speedo at the beach.

Lockman....I've got a sobering revelation for you....sorry brutha...

You ready?...

here it is.....





You're going to fit in around here just fine!!

that speedo thing goes for any guy, period, end of discyssion.

[BaldRob]

All in favor?

AYE!

Motion passes!  BALD MAN LAW!

[Robmeister]

Dang!....

I'll have to change my avatar then...

was sportin' Union Jack in that pic

[BaldRob]

Dang!....

I'll have to change my avatar then...

was sportin' Union Jack in that pic

I think I just threw up a lot in my mouth... 

[wpruitt]

Dang!....

I'll have to change my avatar then...

was sportin' Union Jack in that pic

I think I just threw up a lot in my mouth... 

And I second that emotion!

[David]

Dang!....

I'll have to change my avatar then...

was sportin' Union Jack in that pic

Not only is that disgusting, but unpatriotic too.   Shame on you, Rob.   

[BaldRob]

The Beginnings of the Sly Bald Guy Law Book:

1. Bald is better than combovers!

1A. No man shall ever use the "combover" to cover up their bald head.

1B. Should a bald man see another bald man with a combover, he has a right to shave the combover off.

1C. Before OR AFTER the correction is administered (i.e. the shaving) the bald man who discovered the breech has the obligation to face the perpetrator, physically spin him around, and while holding firmly onto each shoulder deliver 5 to 7 swift and powerful kicks to the buttocks area in rapid succession. The more public this can be administered the better.  Then to demonstrate SBG grace and mercy....spin the perp back around and embrace him warmly....allowing him time to sob repentantly, while patting the subject on the back and repeating, "Let it out, brother....let it all out."

2.  If any bald man sees another bald man getting a sunburned dome, they should offer up sunscreen if they have some

3.  The only hair that should be allowed to grow on the scalp is hair that originated on the same scalp

4.  The only items that should be allowed to cover a bald man's head are a hat or cap, a do-rag, or a hood from a jacket or sweatshirt; hairpieces (rugs) are not permitted

5.  Always accept the "head rub" from any woman, even if she's attractively-challenged

6.  Always carry a bandanna or "sweat rag"

7.  Never be without a skull cap in the winter

8.  Shaved headed men (BBC or balding) must offer responses to questions about their shaved head.  They must offer responses encouraging balding men to shave off their fringe or thinning hair and letting them know the freedom to have a totally naked noggin.

9.  If another shaved headed man see you and offers the response, "Nice Haircut", you are to respond pleasantly back and say, "I like yours too!"

10. No bald  man should ever say or wear apparel that say things like "I'm not bald, I'm a solar powered, sex machine"

11. Any Bald man with more than 2 lay-days must give up the extras to his fellow bald men. He may not give a lay-day to anyone with hair. (unless they are related)  If there are no suitable bald men for him to pass off the extra lay-days too, it is the duty of the man with the lay-days to keep them all entertained until a suitable man is in proximity and able to take the extras off his hand.

12. Any time you see a sly brother hitting on an ugly lay-day, take pictures and post them so we can all make fun of him!

13. One who is bald and does decided to grow ones hair as a donation to benefit those who are not able to grow hair will not be looked down at or frowned upon.... they grow their hair to donate for a good cause...with no money or compensation for it...

14. Go "naked" (that is, bareheaded) and proud through the world, except when the weather necessitates wearing a hat or cap

15. Do everything possible to promote baldness--however achieved--and to affirm the bald image for adult men

16. Embrace and use on oneself tems such as "chrome dome," "slick pate," "bare noggin," "baldy" and anything else that suggests one's happiness with being bald

17. Shave daily or every other day to maintain the positive "rush" one experienced when shaving it all off for the first time

18. Resist with might and main the temptation to grow whatever one's got left back

19. Accept and appreciate all the patting and kissing women accord men who are comfortable with their gleaming plates

20. At no time should a sly bald guy wear a speedo

[Robmeister]

Dang!....

I'll have to change my avatar then...

was sportin' Union Jack in that pic

Not only is that disgusting, but unpatriotic too.   Shame on you, Rob.   

 

I unabashedly admit....it is a flagrant violation of everything that is good and decent...

Nonetheless, according to Bald Man Law Section 1, article 20 above....

I was not at the beach at the time of said violation....

**BAM!!** Ruling for the defendent...

The avatar stays.....

court adjurned

 

[BaldRob]

SBG Law 20 will hereby be modified to read:

20.  At no time will a bald guy wear a speedo

This change is being made retroactive to the beginning of time and anyone previously thinking they were in the clear are now subject to loss of sly status for no less than three days and will be subject to public humiliation for no less than 30 days.

[Shiny]

Great thread and a great idea guys!  My only concern is with the limitations placed on acceptable bean covers in #14.  Weather should not be the only factor considered for the appropriateness of headgear.  Up north, if it isn't too cold for the bugs, we have bugs!  Doo rags (& I like doo rags btw, & I don't look like Aunt Jemima in 'em! - mmm pancakes ) are a necessity to keep the horse flies from snackin' on yer melon! - mmm melons

& if I may weigh in on the hairpiece issue.  I agree with the posters who said if it makes you happy, wear.  You'll still be bald, you'll still be a guy, BUT be forewarned, you'll be slyly challenged.

[Shiny]

Something just occurred to me while showering...  No bald guy (or gal) shall ever be asked to clean hair out of a drain unless it is his (or her) chosen profession for which he (or she) will gladly accept remuneration.