Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

Being bald, body-image, and depression

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Reddas:
I'm a fairly young guy (20), lost my hair when I was 18.
My appearance was quickly altered.
I must admit, that I'm self-conscious about it from time to time. Other times, I feel pretty confident.

Body-image. Many younger people are influenced by hollywood and pop-culture.
Having hair is mostly potrayed as being universally appealing, whereas the bald-look is more polarizing - either people dig it or they don't.
I'm not trying to generalize, but this dichotomy of reactions is mostly true for women, in my experience. Men don't care that much about appearances. The bald look is also often portrayed as the muscular badboy arche-type. Which automatically stereotype you as "tough" if you are sly to some people.

I must admit that I sometimes feel that we live in a pretty shallow culture where appearances matters more than the content of your character.
Perhaps I'm thinking too much into it, which from time to time makes me depressed.

Rationally, I know I got to accept my appearance, and just be as happy as I can. Since there's nothing I can do to change it.
But still I process it in my mind, got this unhealthy obsession with my head-shape, and how odd it is that I don't have hair when 95% of my friends got all their hair.

Any others who experienced depression over the course of getting used to your new bald appearance?
How you did you gain confidence?
How did you gain more happiness in your life, when you suffered from depression?

KDusk:
Hey Reddas.

First, you look great sly! I've seen the picture you posted of yourself with hair and it looked good, but you look better with a shaved head IMO. You have a great head shape (but the initial obsessing is only normal, I think).

I also went through a depression after shaving my head and I went through 6 months of counselling. Shaving my head wasn't the 'real' problem, it was just the indicator that I was fed up with the person I was, or more: the person that everyone always expected me to be. I had always been the smart, nice, rational child in the family and the motivated, social student in school. The backlash I initially got from shaving my head made me question myself, because suddenly people saw me as a troubled teenager who was starting to rebel (I'm 24).

I found out (through counselling) that rebelling is an essential part of shaping your personality. At first I didn't want to accept that I was rebelling since that wasn't in my nature and I condemned the people that did so (like my brother). In the end, he was the happy one because he did what he wanted and stood up for it while I was the one doing what everyone else expected me to do. Don't forget: of all the possibilities in 'battling' hair loss, you chose this one (and thank God you did). You decided to 1) accept that you were losing your hair, 2) do something about it, and 3) choose the option that YOU thought was most appropriate (and that actually requires some balls, too).

Reddas, there's no shame in shaving your head. Your problem isn't your hair loss or the fact that you shaved your head. But you've allowed other people to judge your decisions and it's time to stand up for yourself.

stasiu:
Hey Reddas !

What KDusk posted in reponse to your post is totally epic !  KDusk and the rest of us at SBG offer understanding and sly support ! 

Razor X:

--- Quote from: Reddas on June 10, 2012, 09:56:25 AM ---
Body-image. Many younger people are influenced by hollywood and pop-culture.
Having hair is mostly potrayed as being universally appealing, whereas the bald-look is more polarizing - either people dig it or they don't.


--- End quote ---

It's almost impossible for most of us to live up to Hollywood/pop culture standards.  Remember that celebrities have the best stylists, make up artists, personal trainers and plastic surgeons at their beck and call 24/7.  And all of the magazine photographs you see are airbrushed, touched up and digitally altered.  The average person can't compete with that, and trying too hard will only make you feel miserable and inadequate.  The only thing that most of us can do is try and do the best we can with what God gave us to work with.  

You look perfectly fine without hair.  There's no reason in the world that you should feel depressed about it.  Hold your head high and walk with confidence.

OMBrandon:
I'm 6'2"/300lbs and though I haven't had any issues with my hair (per se) I can certainly relate. I ought to be 120ish with a 6pack and pectorals I can make bounce on command. I have bad days now and again that I call my "fat days," but the majority of the time I don't even think about it.

What really turned me around was all these specials on how magazines and fashion photoshop men and especially women. I figure that I am who I am, fat or thin, and screw the a-holes who have to chisel the neckline off some model who represents a fantasy that cannot be achieved.

And you know what?  That goes for the women too!  Barbie is illogical and would snap in like 10 places because her perportions are so off, so why are women focused on the media's attempt at making all their models her size?  Women who have curves are beautiful and, as my fiancée likes to say, I feel nothin but a need to feed the skinny model types that try to live outside reality.

Don't know if that helps- but definetly don't be ashamed of your looks. You look great bald and it matters more how you carry yourself and embrace life than whether or not you have hair.  Like singing in church- its what you were given so you may as well give it right back and wear it proudly!

Brandon

PS- We DO live in a terribly shallow culture. What we don't realize is that the culture focuses on one attraction- the most superficial. I guarantee that the way you carry yourself- confidently and  unapologeticly is equally as attractive, if not more so.

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