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Should I do it? Been wanting to for a while but ... by SyZ on 24 May, 2012 19:45
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Hi, first post here.
So, my hair has been falling out since I was 22, and I'm 27 now. I'm not really sure it's because I'm balding as opposed to bad nutrition .. I don't have the best eating habits. My hairline has receded maybe an inch from where it normally was, and there is some thinning all throughout the middle from the front to the back where there is a small bald spot. The hair on the sides of my head seems to be fine in the sense that it's not coming out. In the thinning areas I can't seem to keep the hair, it usually falls out with a length of about an inch, and I get my hair cut to 1/2 an inch every 6 weeks or so. I've been somewhat conscience about it for a while, in fact I haven't been on a date in a few years ... one girl I asked out actually said she worked in a salon and said I should use Nioxin for better results. It's definitely hurt my confidence in terms of 'was that girl smiling because she thinks I'm hot or because she's laughing at the hair loss?' In either event, I'm ok with shaving it off. Ok as in I don't have a very strong attachment to having thick flowing hair until I'm 50 and it goes grey. If I look better without it then I'm perfectly ok maintaining it indefinitely.
And that brings me to where I am now. I'm graduating college (yea, 5 years behind schedule ...) in three weeks, and the dreaded job hunt will begin. My degree is in statistics, I'm in California, and I have no reason to believe whatever industry I move into will be ultra conservative, but I still hesitate. Does being young and shaving your head send the wrong signal? I don't want to screw myself out of starting my life by sabotaging a job interview because I look like I don't respect the dress code or whatever rationale an interviewer would use against me.
That's the main reason I'm hesitant to take the plunge, but also the main reason I want to. Being out of school and starting a new job gives me a fresh start. If I walk into that interview with a shaved head, nail it, get hired and start work, nobody will know me as that dude with the horrible bald spot and a 4 inch forehead. Other than that, here are some pros and cons:
Pros:
I'll be home for a while and it gives me a chance to try it out to see if I like it or / how I look with it without having to go to class with 90 kids I see every day and know me already.
Very strong chance I would look better
Very strong chance my confidence will go up
No more haircuts!
Cons:
My skin is very pale / white, and I worry how that will look. Almost every bald / shaven guy I've pulls it off well has a tan head that matches their face
If my hair is falling out randomly along the middle, won't that show up in the patterning when it's clean-shaven? As in, the top of my head will be dark in spots with hair and empty in spots where the roots are gone
My mother HATES the idea, and she's a big part of my life
I sunburn very easily, I live in California, and summer is starting.
I have VERY oily skin, and I'm pretty sure my head would be even shinier than 'normal'
With all that said, what do you guys think?
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#1 by Frontier Guy on 24 May, 2012 21:35
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My recommendation is to try it out as soon as you're done with graduation activities.
Reading through your note was exhausting ... though I understand how big a factor this is for you.
Although I'm only one-week into the "sly" mode, I've realized that few, if any, will care what you look like. Those who didn't know you with hair won't have anything to compare to, and those who did know you will hopefully be seeing you for your inner qualities regardless of the outer shell.
I'm in my 50s and have done a fair bit of hiring. Other than general appearance standards (cleanliness, etc.) hair presence or length didn't matter. I was much more focused on skills and personality (how will the candidate fit into the team, does he/she convey confidence).
You'll get a lot of support here, but I think the underlying response is going to be: 1. Try it for 30 days. 2. If you don't like it, it'll grow back. 3. You'll most likely be saying, "Wow, I wish I'd done this sooner." and 4. The sense of freedom is empowering.
Welcome. I'm looking forward to seeing you embark on this journey and share your insights. It can be very transforming. -
#2 by Sir Harry on 24 May, 2012 21:40
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Welcome! First off, congrats on finishing college....I'm going back to college this fall and I will be 42 or 43 when I finish, so finishing at 27 is not too bad....As far as a job goes, most employers are looking for confident, aggressive go-getter type people, hair be damned...There are a lot more sly guys in the workplace today than you think! Women are sometimes like prospective employers...they just want a confident man who doesn't worry about outside forces that he can't control thinning hair being one of those forces...that said, if your (remaining) hair is stopping you from enjoying life and what it has to offer maybe sly can make a difference. Give it a try, and if you don't like it you can always grow it back...(most don't bother). Good luck and keep us posted!
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#3 by Lynchy on 25 May, 2012 03:24
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My recommendation is to try it out as soon as you're done with graduation activities.
Reading through your note was exhausting ... though I understand how big a factor this is for you.
Although I'm only one-week into the "sly" mode, I've realized that few, if any, will care what you look like. Those who didn't know you with hair won't have anything to compare to, and those who did know you will hopefully be seeing you for your inner qualities regardless of the outer shell.
I'm in my 50s and have done a fair bit of hiring. Other than general appearance standards (cleanliness, etc.) hair presence of length didn't matter. I was much more focused on skills and personality (how will the candidate fit into the team, does he/she convey confidence).
You'll get a lot of support here, but I think the underlying response is going to be: 1. Try it for 30 days. 2. If you don't like it, it'll grow back. 3. You'll most likely be saying, "Wow, I wish I'd done this sooner." and 4. The sense of freedom is empowering.
Welcome. I'm looking forward to seeing you embark on this journey and share your insights. It can be very transforming.
Welcome!
Frontier Guy nailed it IMO!
Re: Job. I'm 23 and recently had an interview for a fairly big promotion at work, if successful I will be the youngest in the team by an easy 10 years! Word on the street so far is that I'm in! Anyway everyone knew my before and after being shaved, hardly anyone mentioned it TBH!
Good luck, I hope you find what works for you!
Keep up updated! -
#4 by Natedawg on 25 May, 2012 08:09
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Welcome aboard!
I have oily skin also. When I did have hair, it would be very noticeably oily if I didn't wash at least once a day. Let me assure you that it's not a problem for baldies . It's not like someone's going to mistake your head for a Texas oil field, or anything.
Just keep the scalp clean as you would any other part of your body. My head actually never looks shiny, even when I try to use shine-obtaining tricks, like rubbing it ice cubes after a shave.
It's a big change (going sly), so of course I understand you have reservations about doing it. However, please understand that all you are really fearing is the unknown, which of course is perfectly natural. You've never done this before. It sounds like you want to go for it, so I'm going to push you a bit. Just do it. Dive right in. Bald can be a very clean look, so don't worry about prospective employers. Would you really want to work for the kind of people that would hire you based on your looks anyway?
There's no good reason not to try it at least once. You'll never know unless you take that leap...
Best of luck to you!
And congrats on graduating college!
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#5 by D.A.L.U.I. on 25 May, 2012 09:33
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That's the main reason I'm hesitant to take the plunge, but also the main reason I want to. Being out of school and starting a new job gives me a fresh start. If I walk into that interview with a shaved head, nail it, get hired and start work, nobody will know me as that dude with the horrible bald spot and a 4 inch forehead.
Your instincts are pretty good--the clean look, neat, put together will be a plus. Importantly, and keep this in mind now and in future, an employer is looking for what's in your head, not what's on it. Certainly be neatly dressed, clean fingernails, yada yada, but make sure you learn what the prospective employer's goals are, from internet, Linkin, etc., and during the interviews and correspondence seeking interviews try to highlight your interests and academic achievements that could help them meet their goals. Often in fields such as yours they'll want a writing sample, start looking through your files for a good and relevant example to provide, even bring one to the interview if they haven't asked--it's a nice drop off and makes your application just a little more significant. It should demonstate your particular strengths in the field and it could help if it's a little "academic!" Finally, send a thank you note to the interviewer for his time and interest immediately after your appointment. Two benefits, shows you're not a social clod when it comes to business manners, and two, the big one for you, after they've seen all the applicants it gives you a chance to remind them that you were there--although a nicely shined dome won't hurt. And there's always the chance one of the people you'll talk to is a sly guy too. Best of luck. -
#6 by wilky895 on 25 May, 2012 11:43
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I understand your apprehension and it is normal. I had been going bald for over 20 years and finally took the plunge at the encouragement of a friend and my wife. I actually feel less self conscious; and more confident about myself now then with the little hair I had. Hey what could be more crisp and clean cut during an interview then a sly guy. As far as the color difference after shaving... I was pale under the little hair I had left after shaving, I went over the top and used SPF 50 and got NO COLOR AT ALL, went to a 30 and slowly the color is blending in. Hope this helps and Good Luck
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#7 by Mr Jules on 25 May, 2012 11:56
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Pros:
I'll be home for a while and it gives me a chance to try it out to see if I like it or / how I look with it without having to go to class with 90 kids I see every day and know me already.
Very strong chance I would look better
Very strong chance my confidence will go up
No more haircuts!
You have the urge to shave your head. As Mark Twain said "the hardest thing to resist is temptation".
Give it a go and shave sly. Bet you like your new look. -
#8 by TheSlyBear on 25 May, 2012 12:29
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If you're ready to ask the question, it's time to do the deed.
As I've said many times: there's no downside. It grows back quickly in the very unlikely event you decide it's not for you. -
#9 by Baldstu on 25 May, 2012 12:53
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Many words of wisdom and your haircut should have no bearing what so ever with your abiltiy to perform and do a job . Frontier guy puts it very well try it and see
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#10 by SyZ on 29 May, 2012 20:01
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Well, some pretty big things happened since my post. I was hanging out with one of my friends last Friday and one thing led to another and SHE asked ME out (haha). We went out yesterday and had a blast and she said she thinks I can pull it off (and I tried on some hats in stores and she said I looked good in all of them), so I've made the decision to do it. Now I just need to wait the two weeks until after graduation ...
I'll keep checking back in and I'll update once I do it! Thanks for the responses -
#11 by Frontier Guy on 29 May, 2012 20:12
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That's great, and I like your commitment.
Just one caution ... don't be totally surprised if you decide to shave sooner than you planned. A lot of guys on these forums, me included, had a specific target date - but once we were mentally and emotionally committed there was no point in delaying the change.
You're going to look great and you will be astounded at the support and positive comments which develop around you.
Cheers to you! -
#12 by warhawk on 29 May, 2012 20:20
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Hey SyZ: Welcome 2 the sly fraternity. Glad that ya joined us. Anytime one has thoughts about shaving their dome than one will never be satisfied until the "deed is done". Keep us posted 2 your road 2 slyness.
WARHAWK
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#13 by Lynchy on 30 May, 2012 02:19
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Glad you have decided to commit!
Now let's see how long you can hold out! -
#14 by Paul the Headblader on 30 May, 2012 03:27
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hey and welcome. 27 is an age that requires changes, good changes. going bald is one of them. shave it off and feel free.