Convincing the hubby to let it go... - page 1 -

• Convincing the hubby to let it go... by ChrisInVegas on 13 May, 2007 00:46
• First, let me say I love my husband dearly...thinning hair and all...but would love to finally see him take the plunge.  Second, I looked, but didn't see a whole lot of women posting on here, so if it's typically not kosher, I'm sorry...I'm just really needing some advice as to how to tactfully get him to give up what's quickly becoming the "hair ghost".  I won't be offended in the slightest, should this be a guys only thing, and I need to see myself to the door...honest!
  
  So, for anyone willing to give some advice, here goes.  I've always loved the look of a clean shaven head and have tried to hint to him for years, but I got an immediate "shooshing" every time I made a suggestion.  Recently, I've decided to approach the subject again, when I found this website.  I had him read a few posts and he didn't turn and run with his eyes closed and fingers in his ears, so maybe he's actually entertaining it?  Please Lord, let it be so!  I've tried explaining that if he doesn't like it (after giving it a chance, of course) worst-case scenario is it's only temporary and will grow back. 
  
  Any other guys out there who were in this position?  Wife wanted it--you didn't?  Anyone have any other ideas?  In the end, I know he'll be happier, but he's been a hair perfectionist his whole life and he hates that it's getting so thin--he can't even look at pictures of himself without a slight cringe.  It's almost like he's developed somewhat of a Sampson complex, though, and it bothers me that it bothers him! 
  
  Your thoughts on making this easier for both of us?
  
  Thanks a million!
  
  
• #1 by Tyler on 13 May, 2007 01:32
• Chris, welcome to Sly Bald Guys!  You've come to the right place and you're very welcome here.
  
  I'm thinking there's two ways you can go about it, but some of the other guys will probably add to it.
  
  You could go the honesty route that you've been trying and ask him to do what we suggest most guys do; try it out for 30 days.  At the end of 30 days he can then see how he likes it.
  
  The other route is entice him with something sexy.  Maybe let him shave you somewhere, or something else he'd like to do, if he'll let you shave his head. (Sorry if that's too forward)
  
  
  P.S.  I was in Vegas this week.
• #2 by Ian on 13 May, 2007 04:38
• Welcome to the Forum,all i can say is you have a lucky husband with such a caring wife.
  Half the battle is won with you wanting him to shave it off,usually the resistance is from the wife.
  Let him know how much you would find him attractive with it shaved & talk about it in everyday life but dont ram it down his throat or he wont do it on principle.
  
  Hope all goes well & things turn out for you
  
  
• #3 by Tom McGarry. on 13 May, 2007 05:23
• Welcome to the SBG forum ChrisInVegas, of course you are welcome here. I agree with Tyler, I also think that you should show him the before and after pics, in the gallery, there are some amazeing transformations there. There is also a thread on before and after shaveing your head, with pics that I don't think are in the gallery.
  Maybe you can also point out to him all the famous people who choose to shave their heads, and lastly read the threads on the pros and cons of shaving your head.
  Well that's just my two cents anyway, I hope it works out for you, keep us posted.
• #4 by GBORN on 13 May, 2007 07:13
• Welcome ChrisInVegas,  you're always welcome at SBG.  It is a very supportive and informative bunch.  I am bald by choice, meaning if I didn't shave my head daily I would have a full head of hair.  So I can't speak to the issues of thinning hair and the stress that goes with it.  I do know that I love the SLY look and my wife loves it too.  I would think with your encouragement and support your husband would give it a try.  As Tyler mentioned, have him give it the 30 day test.  Best of luck and keep us posted on the progress. 
• #5 by BaldRob on 13 May, 2007 07:21
• Wait until he's sleeping and then shave it for him!   
  
  J/K... welcome to Sly Bald Guys ChrisInVegas!  I really don't have much to add to what the others have already said except for this:
  
  If he's a "Hair Perfectionist", sit him down and talk with him... no man should cringe when they look at pictures of themselves!  Let him know that shaving his head is a big step, but it allows a man to take back control... and if he still wants to be a perfectionist, then wait until he shaves his head and feels stubble... he'll be running back to get his razor to get smooth again!
  
  
  If the above doesn't make any sense, that's because I haven't had my morning coffee yet...
• #6 by schro on 13 May, 2007 07:29
• Hi Chris....
  I spent a lot of time in Vegas...brother played golf at UNLV and he & his wife as well as my parents all live in the Summerlin area.
  
  YOU ROCK! To echo Ian's sentiments, your husband is lucky to have such a compassionate wife on the topic of hair. I hope you have your husband read my little story (sorry about it being a long post)....
  
  I have MPB (male pattern baldness) and knew the "hair horseshoe" was a look I would be sporting in the future. I used to have wavy/curly blonde hair that looked pretty damn good and was comfortable with the fact I'd lose it someday. I was already married to an incredible woman; our love for each other is unequivocal. When the topic of hair came up, I used to tell people "Well, I look good from the neck down" (I am a runner and always have keep myself in pretty decent shape 6' tall, 200 lbs).
  
  As time went by, I got tired of having someone else cut my haid because I felt I was getting robbed. So I bought a Wahl Professional clippers and my wife began cutting my hair (saved a lot of $$ over the years). As time went by, we went from a #4 attachment to a #3, and #2 for the past two years (1/2" length I believe). She had no problem with it and (what hair I had) looked fine.
  
  Last Halloween, we hosted a couples' costume party. We went as Sonny and Cher and two of our dearest friends came as "Deal or No Deal". Towards the end of the evening when everyone was pretty liquored up, "Howie Mandel" and I switched wigs. He put on the Sonny wig and I wore the skin wig. After I put it on, another guy said "Hey Schro, you look like...Schro". That was a hysterical comment, but also pretty telling. That's when I really began seriously considering shaving my head and stumbled upon this website.
  
  I told my wife that I was planning on shaving my head and planned on waiting until after the holidays to do it. Well, prior to New Year's 2007, I was shaving my head with a #1 setting. I got a ton of compliments and enjoyed the look. On New Year's Day, I was getting ready for my morning run. Prior to running, I got the razor out and shaved my head without a guard. I enjoyed the look and feeling and couldn't wait to finish the run and shave it all off. When I got home, I showered up and got out the Headblade and went to work. I was almost laughing as I was doing it. That first shave took almost 20 minutes as I wanted to make certain I didn't chop my head to bits. When I was finished, I thought it looked great, but was still a little unsure of the look. My kids thought it looked awesome and I have received countless comments on my bold transformation.
  Unfortunately, my wife is not enamoured with it, but she supports it given that I love it. One side benefit of shaving my head is the fact I suffered from an extremely painful hereditary scalp condition (sores, embedded dandruff, pretty gross stuff). Well, it has completely gone since I've taken to shaving my head. For that reason alone, I plan on being sly the rest of my life.
  
  Since going SLY, my self-image has skyrocketed. I love my sly look. I used to reach for a baseball hat whenever I was out of the house. Now, I rarely wear a hat (except wide brimmed hats when I'm golfing). At the rick of sounding corny, going sly is an empowering feeling.
  
  If your husband is open to the idea, I would recommend gradually cutting it shorter to get used to the idea (#3, #2, ...). Maybe buy a Wahl Professional (cheaper than getting it cut by a barber). When he's ready to make the plunge, go with the HeadBlade razor. I'd cruise their website www.headblade.com and check out the "how to shave" video. It's very helpful. Also, their HeadSlick shave cream is awesome.
  
  Feel free to email me (or your husband) if you have any questions.
  Good Luck,
  Schro
• #7 by jusbnme on 13 May, 2007 07:30
• Welcome CIV.  I don't have too much to add to what the other guys have said.  But I do agree with the straight up honest route.  If he is worrying about it it's only going to get worse especially if he is a "hair perfectionist."  I would just sit him down and tell him to really think about what he is letting bother him so much.  Let him know that it's nature and there is nothing he can really do about it unless he wants to go through hell trying transplants and all that other crazy stuff out there.  Tell him he should just embrace it and get on enjoying life with, what seems to me, a wonderful wife.  Trust me, if you can get him to just try it once I know he will never go back.  Good luck and keep us posted. 
• #8 by Paul on 13 May, 2007 08:35
• Welcome Chrisin Vegas, always glad to have another supportive and caring person join us.  Like GBORN I too am bald by choice and can't address the thinning issue.  I can address the fact that being sly allows a person the freedom to be who there really are and your husband should not have to spend his life being uncomfortable with himself. He needs to know he is very fortunate is having a caring wife who would readily support his decision to free himself from the worry of his hair.    Perhaps he is one of those men who can best reach this decision by going in stages.  As schro mentioned, clipping it down in increments can help many men to reach the ultimate decision that smooth and slick is actually the best way to be.  Best of luck to both of you.
• #9 by ChrisInVegas on 13 May, 2007 10:04
• Thank you all for the advice...and for not giving me the boot!  I'm feelin' the love, guys.  This is a much better hair club, that's for sure!
  
  I'll work on him...slowly but surely!  At this point though, I'm in favor of sleep-sabotage....JUST KIDDING!
  
  Maybe I'll slip him the Mother's Day card....or the pouty lip....boy, chicks are vicious, aren't they? We talked about it last night and he said he'd only do it if he got to keep his sideburns--such a kidder (I hope!). 
  
  I think I'll upload a pic of him when he's not looking, so you all can evaluate and address him directly...HA...that'll get-r-done (or me sleeping on the couch for the week). 
  
  Thanks again...speak to ya soon!
  
  
• #10 by Stu on 13 May, 2007 10:30
• Wow your husband is lucky.  I can't add much to what has already been said, but you might want to try a virtual head shave.  The site http://www.baldlygo.com/ will take a regular picture you upload to them and photoshop it to give you an idea what your husband would look like shaved.  Good luck!
• #11 by browny on 13 May, 2007 14:41
• Hi and welcome.  This is from a female perspective.  You are a good looking well-groomed woman and the way you speak about his hair perfection he may be interested at looking at his appearance as well.  From the guys here, I feel the confidence once they have taken charge and shaved.  The guys here take pride in the overall package - dressing better, eating and exercising plus they are intelligent, funny and caring.  Maybe if your husband gets to know (and feel comfortable with) the guys here he may start buzzing it then eventually shave it.  How old is he?  What is his work environment?  Good luck.
  
• #12 by Darrell on 13 May, 2007 17:04
• Welcome Chris.  I was in the same position as your husband for 34 years. I was starting to loose my hair when my wife and I first met (back in 1972). We dated 3 years, and were married in 1975. I'm fortunate to have a very loving wife who married me for being me, not for my hair. Well over the years my thinning hair turned into male pattern baldness. As it progressed, I kept letting the parted side grow longer and longer so I could do combovers. Then I would use the strongest hair spray I could find to cement it all in place. Wind was my worst enemy - I would try to position my head so that the combover would not get blown off. My wife always told me it would actually look better if I just left the top bald. I can remember telling her on several occasions that if I had just one hair left I would let it grow to be 100 yards long and then arrange it all over my head.
  
  Finally, I came to my senses in July of '06 (at age 59) and stopped the combovers. I had a little stubble here and there on top, so I shaved the top daily but left the remaining hair on the sides long enough to comb. Big shock - nobody really cared if I was bald on top. The dog and cat still liked me, my friends still liked me, and my wife and grown children still loved me. The only problem with just shaving the top was that I would get one side lower than the other. So the next day, I would try to compensate by shaving the other side lower so things would look even. Well, you guessed it - I would mess that up too, so that each side kept getting lower and lower  . Thank heavens, 2 weeks ago, at age 60, I said enough is enough and shaved it all off. Talk about a liberating, comfortable feeling - after experiencing it, I would shave my head even if I had a full head of thick hair!
  
  Little I can add Chris, other than echoing what others have said - ask you husband to try it for 30 days. If, after that time, it is not for him, he can let it grow back.
  
  Darrell
  
  
  
  
  
  
• #13 by ChrisInVegas on 13 May, 2007 17:34
• Thanks for the reply, Darrell...all this talk of liberation makes me want to take the plunge myself........almost! 
  
  Browny - I've noticed that about the overall vibe from the crowd--there's an air of confidence, and not cocky confidence either, which is so refreshing. 
  
  My husband is a clinical admin. and runs a doc's office.  Nothing wrong with being clean shaven in that environment!  He's 34.  His younger bro has already gone sly, so I'm not sure why he's still hesitant.  He (bro) started losing his hair at 17 and he knows nature will be taking care of that for him too, sooner or later. 
  
  Here's the hubby.  This was last year and it's gotten a bit thinner since.
  
  not the best example of his melon, but you get the general idea
  
  Here's his bro
   
  
  I talked to his brother today about it at lunch and he said there's no going back...he'd never have hair again, even if it was a full head.  It's just really hard talking to him about it--last thing I want my husband to think is that I don't like the way he looks now, so it's a very touchy subject. 
  
  Maybe get him liquored?  Seems to work when I present the "honey-do" list 
  
• #14 by Tyler on 13 May, 2007 18:19
• Quote from: ChrisInVegas on 13 May, 2007 17:34

  Maybe get him liquored?  Seems to work when I present the "honey-do" list 
  
  

  
  That would work on most of us! 
  
  I have a younger brother that is much thinner than I am and I'm trying to get him to shave as well, so I know how touchy of a subject it is.  Maybe you could get his brother to make a bet with your hubby and if he loses he has to shave his head.  A couple of guys here have ended up sly going that route.
  
  Though, deep down, I think that honesty might work the best.  Tell him that you would find it really sexy if he buzzed his hair down.  Get him to take baby steps.  You seem really cool and fun, so try to make the idea fun and not serious.
  
  If that's your son he's holding, Happy Mother's Day!