Guys' Rules

• Guys' Rules by Tyler on 04 Aug, 2006 23:56
• The Guys' Rules
  At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
  
  Finally, the guys' side of the story.
  (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
  We always hear
  "the rules"
  From the female side.
  
  
  Now here are the rules from the male side.
  These are our rules!
  
  Brought to you by SlyBaldGuys.com
  
  *   Men are NOT mind readers.
  
  * Learn to work the toilet seat.
  You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
  We need it up, you need it down.
  You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  
  * Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
  or the changing of the tides.
  Let it be.
  
  * Shopping is NOT a sport.
  And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
  
  * Crying is blackmail.
  
  * Ask for what you want.
  Let us be clear on this one:
  Subtle hints do not work!
  Strong hints do not work!
  Obvious hints do not work!
  Just say it!
  
  * Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  
  * Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
  Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  
  * A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
  
  See a doctor.
  
  * Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
  In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
  
  * If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
  
  * If you think you're fat, you probably are.
  Don't ask us.
  
  * If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
  
  * You can either ask us to do something
  Or tell us how you want it done.
  Not both.
  If you already kn ow best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  
  * Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have
  
  to say during commercials.
  
  * Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
  
  * ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
  
  * If it itches, it will be scratched.
  We do that.
  
  * If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
  We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
  
  hassle.
  
  * If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  
  * When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.Really.
  
  * Don't ask us what we're thinking abo ut unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS,  the shotgun formation,
  or  BASKETBALL.
  
  
  
  * You have enough clothes.
  
  * You have too many shoes.
  
  * I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
  
  * Thank you for reading this.
  Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
  
  
  But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
  
  Pass this to as many men as you can -
  to give them a laugh.
  
  Pass this to as many women as you can -
  
  to give them a bigger laugh
• #1 by PigPen on 28 Sep, 2006 16:47
• Damn straight!!!
• #2 by PBurke on 22 Nov, 2006 10:13
• every woman should have this taught to them in grade school. you know what i wish a woman would do? write a book explaining the meaning behind their comments. and how the meaning changes with each situation. i have been trying to get my wife to write it( we could be rich). is there a married man alive that wouldn't want two copies?
• #3 by BaldRob on 22 Nov, 2006 15:07
• Quote from: pburke on 22 Nov, 2006 10:13

  every woman should have this taught to them in grade school. you know what i wish a woman would do? write a book explaining the meaning behind their comments. and how the meaning changes with each situation. i have been trying to get my wife to write it( we could be rich). is there a married man alive that wouldn't want two copies?
  

  
  Is there any man alive that wouldn't want two copies?!?!
  
  I personally don't think there is enough paper in this universe to print that book though...
• #4 by PBurke on 22 Nov, 2006 15:35
• but we could make a fortune if we could get our hands on a copy. can anyone say    e-bay
• #5 by Tyler on 22 Nov, 2006 19:50
• I bet you could make a fortune with that book if you really did your homework and were able to present the information in an entertaining way.  Get a bunch of women to interject their thoughts on different subjects and questions that guys have.  We could create a wiki site to do this...hmmm my wheels are spinning.
• #6 by PBurke on 22 Nov, 2006 19:55
• i am on board. of course we would all have to do some "RESEARCH". survey a bunch of ladies. let's get some questions together. since we are spread out all over we can get more accurate results by talking to ladies from all groups and classes.
• #7 by Tyler on 22 Nov, 2006 19:57
• I'll PM you with some ideas I have.
• #8 by PBurke on 22 Nov, 2006 20:01
• ok
• #9 by Noner on 29 Nov, 2006 14:03
• Homer says:
  
  "It's funny cause its true"
  
  
• #10 by frostillicus123 on 22 Jan, 2007 19:37
• I'm all for this... we'd be millionaires.... although i'm not sure about the paper issue..... i know my Girlfriend is so damn complicated it's insane