Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

My Lack of Confidence Destroyed My Life-Hair Transplants Are A Lie!

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HeadChange:
I'm new to this forum, but I'm grateful to have found it.  I am sick of finding hair-loss forums that are sponsored by doctors and pharma companies.  What men really need is acceptance and confidence that they are OK how they are.

At 21 years old, I began to notice a significant change in my hair.  I was attractive and confident, but hair loss began to twist it's way into my psyche.  I battled back and forth with buzzing and growing out, and I started using Rogaine at about 23.  At 25, I was becoming devastated by my hair loss, and some friends helped to convince me that a hair transplant surgery would solve all of my problems.  I got it into my head that I would once again be beautiful and have a head full of lush hair.  I decided to take a path that would eventually end me in absolute ruin.
Because of my concern of infection and inhibiting the healing process, I stopped using Rogain for about 2 weeks after the surgery.  One morning, I woke up, looked at my hair, itched my scalp, and lost literally a full 1/3rd of my hair...it fell out in the sink in front of my eyes.  I was devastated.  I never regained that moderate density, but I immediately started using Rogaine and propecia.
About 6 months later, I met an incredibly beautiful young woman that I knocked up in 3 months.  We lived together, had a baby, and were married for 6 years.  The entire time I was with her, however, I struggled with confidence, wanting to shave my head but afraid of the goddamned scar across the back of my head.  My confidence dwindled, but my work drive and ego caused me to do things that I should never have done; I cheated on my wife several times.  Twice was with a neighbor, and even though the situation about ruined us, we moved, and found a new happy home and began working closely with a therapist.  All was going great until my ego caught me again (I am the CEO and founder of an incredibly successful Medical Marijuana business in California).  I cheated again, this time with a staff member who gave me herpes.  I told my wife, and she made it clear that we had to separate.  
At the same time, I have decided to stop propecia (actually proscar).  It has sapped my sex drive, and has caused me to live in a low-level of depression for years.  My desire to seek sexual excitement outside of marriage is likely, in part, due my lowered sex drive at home.  I'm still on Rogaine, but I am definitely noticing daily hair loss and general thinning.  I'm afraid to shave because of the long, obvious scar that runs across the back of my head.  
My wife is filing an official separation now, and I'm depressed beyond belief; suicide has been an ongoing thought.
I'm trying to figure out where to go next.  I'm lost, I'm tortured, and I'm scared.  My hair is thinning, and I need to come to terms and accept myself as who I am.  

Does anyone out there share a similar reality as I do?  I'm 33 years old, and could have so much life ahead of me.  I'm looking into taking a meditation retreat for a month or so in Bali, Thailand or India.  

How have people out there dealt with transplant scars and shaving?  How about giving up hair loss medications?  I'm so afraid of becoming an old, bald, single man that has herpes and no chance of love again, that it's eating me alive.

I need help.

Sir Harry:
First off, welcome! Secondly, I'm so sorry that you were dealt such a bad hand in the card game of life, but at 33, you're still young enough to turn things around. If you check out some of the stories on the forum, you're not the first nor will you be the last to have a hair transplant that you had second thoughts about later. As far as the scar(s) left behind when you shave your head, many of us have "imperfections" on our scalp, but that's the things that make our heads uniquely ours. This coming from a guy that had 30+ stitches in various spots on his scalp due to cysts/boils/scar tissue (I'm wearing 24 stitches right now across the base of my neck). If (when) you shave your head, and the HT scar(s) are still bothering you, I would see a dermatologist who can recommend some treatment and/or surgery to minimize the appearance. Sorry for the oversized welcome, but if there's a group that understands, it's this one.....Keep your head up and stay strong, we're pulling for you!

marty22:
Hang in there!

Mikekoz13:
I'm going to blunt here....

I had a lot of problems in my marriages when I was younger. I fucked up my first marriage by being a dumb ass. It took me years to get over that failure. After a second failed marriage I sought happiness thru a beer bottle and one night stands. My life was a fucking mess.
And then one day I looked in the mirror at myself and didn't like what I saw... at all. I vowed that day to change my life forever. I promised my self that for one full year there would be no relationships with women and the beer bottle had to stay n the 'frig on weekdays.
Almost exactly one year later to the day... I met the woman that changedd my life forever. I've always believed that the one year I took to get my life in order was the only reason I met that amazing woman. I had to get myself right before my life ccould be right.

And that very year that I decided to change my life..................... I was 33 years old.

IllinoisBaldy:
I had one ht when I was 19 and I've been Sly over 2 years now.  I'd be lying if I said I don't struggle with the scar, but in my experience, shaving my head and ending the burden of hairloss outweights the embarrasment of the ht scar. 

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