Ex girlfriend told me she doesn't feel attracted to me

[Delancey]

Hey all! As many fellow posters, I decided to join because I am going bald. I'm in my mid 20s, and my ex girlfriend told me last night that she isnt physically attracted to me anymore, for I am going bald. I feel insecure as it it, with few girls rarely ever paying any attention to me. I am in my sexual prime and just feel so pathetic that I can't attract a cute girl. And now the one girl who I was together with for 4 years essentially called me ugly. I don't even know why I let my self worth be determined by my lack of good looks. ? I just feel really low today, and if she is of that opinion, many other girls feel the same way.

I don't really blame women for not being into me just because I am going bald. After all, I am trying to attract pretty girls, and value someone who takes care of her physical appearance. So it's fair game, I suppose. Nonetheless it really sucks.

I guess I am just feeling down tonight. She essentially disqualified me cause I don't have a lot of her hair, saying that she feels shallow, but sexual attraction is very important to her.

I am really considering shaving my head but I am afraid ill look like Shrek or at best have very few girls who are attracted to me. Kind of sad that I only care about losing my hair because it disqualifies me as a partner for women. But I am being straight up, it really bothers me, and how I look does matter for I want to be attractive to women (at least a few) and feel desirable.

[Razor X]

Was she an "ex" girlfriend prior to this conversation? If so, then her opinion is totally irrelevant. Either way you are better off without her.

Being bald in no way disqualifies you from being a partner for women -- just the superficial ones. A good-looking guy with hair will still be good-looking if he goes bald, provided that he doesn't do something silly like grow a combover. And an ugly bald guy was once an ugly guy with hair. Hair is not the deal breaker you seem to think it is.

[Delancey]

She was an ex gf before we had the conversation. Then she called me up last night and told me straight up, "I am not attracted to bald guys."
I think a lot of men look better with hair, but a lot also look great with a shaved head. I am so pale and have a raised mole on my head. I guess I am just looking to feel comfortable with how I look, and one part of that has to do with feeling sexually attractive to women, rather than being lambasted for going bald.
She bought me 3 months of rogaine, but I have tried it before, and it doesn't work for me.

[Mikekoz13]

Dude ... you're problem isn't your hair or lack of it... your problem is twofold..... 1) your lack of self esteem, 2) the people you hang with
Problem 1 can be fixed with a mirror..... find one, look into it, and tell yourself taht you're done letting the world walk on you..... that it's YOUR time.
Problem 2 can be fixed by telling all those dumb asses to take a hike and then you can start hanging with better people that appreciate you for who YOU are and what you bring to the table.

[Razor X]

She was an ex gf before we had the conversation. Then she called me up last night and told me straight up, "I am not attracted to bald guys."

And you care what an ex thinks because ... ??   

[Delancey]

Thanks buddy. I suppose I only feel a bit insecure as a result of going bald. Does it look very obvious in the photos?

[Razor X]

Thanks buddy. I suppose I only feel a bit insecure as a result of going bald. Does it look very obvious in the photos?

Yes, it's obvious. It's time to do something about it. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but I have to be honest.

[Delancey]

No I appreciate your honesty. Do I have a face for it? I guess that's my only hesitation at the moment: will I be able to pull it off? I am pretty tall and thin, should I start lifting weights (to get a thicker neck)? Also, I am soooo pale. Any recommendations besides tanning?

[TheSlyBear]

Do I have a face for it?

There's only one way to find out. Do it.

In the very unlikely event that you don't think it's a vast improvement, it grows back! No downside to giving it a try.

Also, I am soooo pale. Any recommendations besides tanning?

Yeah. Stop obsessing about silly crap. My heritage is French Canadian -- I give  whole new meaning to the word "white". So what?

[Razor X]

Also, I am soooo pale. Any recommendations besides tanning?

Pale? Have you taken a good look at my photo? 

[Delancey]

Haha ok I'll give it a try soon. In the meantime, I'll do p90x, and prepare mentally for the change. I'll post pictures whence a few months.


Thanks guys:-)

[schro]

F*ck Her. She's not worth it.

[chgobuzzbald]

You would look great shaved. At least go for a no. 2 buzz right away. You will attract girls that ONLY like bald guys. Didnt you ever consider that ?  If you are hanging with 20 year olds thats the problem. Try late 20's, professional types. Totally different regarding how much they like shaved heads.

[Paul the Headblader]

hey and welcome. I did not read your whole post, but based on the post title I'd say: let her go, feel free, shave your head and girls will come, oh, trust me, they will.

[mrzed]

Several comments, Delancey.

1. When I was courting my wife, she repeatedly reminded me that "I'm not interested in men with beards". I had a beard then. I still have a beard today. She has never seen me without a beard!  We've been married almost 30 years now.

2. This goes both ways. The kind of woman that you want is one with beautiful inner qualities. A beautiful spirit about her. The kind of man that a good woman wants is a man with good inner qualities.  Look around, you'll find plenty of couples who are downright 'ugly', but have a beautiful relationship.  Looks are external. The hair thing is external.  If someone is hung up on looks, they are not worth it. 

3. As for your picture, It takes a special guy to shave his head bald before nature pulls your hair out for you.  You'd be a good candidate to assist nature with a razor.  Again, look around you. The bald guys have confidence.  Shave your head. And work on some good inner qualities.