Seemed like the perfect place to post this:
The wife came home early - found her husband in their bedroom making
love to a very attractive young woman. She was very upset - "You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me -a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you - I want a divorce straight away !"
The husband replied, "Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can
tell you what happened." "Fine, go ahead," she sobbed, " but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
The husband began -- "Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and
this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out- so defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night- the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was
doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but won't use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary ! present, which you won't use because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you won't use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and won't use because someone at work has a pair the same."
The husband took a quick breath and continued - "She was so grateful for
my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
" Please ... do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?"
that sounds way too familiar.
Schro laughs.....Schro cries.
ahahaha man i guess ill understand that some day.
It is all true. When it came time to have a baby, it was like she was alive again. Now the kids are 6 and 5 and we're back to the dead zone! I told her I was tired of soaking my hand in beer to get my date drunk. She didn't think that was funny at all. I told her I didn't think celbacy was funny either. LOL
Lets end this and just say women are always horny!!
They are until they take their first bite of wedding cake.
So true............ for you guys getting married in the future try this:
From the day of your wedding until your first Anniversary, every time you and the new bride have sex put a penny in a jar. From the day after your first Anniversary every time you and the wife have sex remove a penny from the jar........ you will never empty that jar...........
Just another reason I remain single....
I get more than you guys and have variety
Champ - you are absolutely right. But i wouldn't trade being married for anything. Yeah, we tease and fuss and complain but at the same time we wouldn't know what to do without each other.
I think all the married guys in here have struck the balance between togetherness and "man time". Red meat, beer and trash talkin'.