Hey everyone.
I have a kinda a rant/vent I need to go on and I hope you guys can help with this predicament I'm in.
So last summer I started to get involved with this girl that I had known for quite some time through a police training program I'm in. I don't know what it was but I had been friends with her for a while and I generally like her but didn't think of her as someone I wanted to date. Then I started to get to know her better. As we talked and kept talking we found out we had a whole lot of stuff in common and that we really got a long. I gotta say for the first time I think I was in love.
Yeah as corny as it sounds I was, and still am. There is so much I love about her, she isn't shallow, she likes the same music as I do, she plays video games, she's caring, sweet, independent, and just so much more. She made moves on me, get that. While I kinda hinted towards wanting a relationship with her, she pushed it. Then I think everything went to sh*t and it was probably my fault. I told her a big word, that I loved her. While I thought it would be mutual it wasn't. She quote "I really really like you but I'm just not ready to say I love you, and I don't want to date yet I'm starting school and I need to do great this school year and I'm afraid a boyfriend would stop that." It was like someone ripped my heart out and stepped on it repeatedly.
However I told her I understood and that it was cool if she didn't want to date there was no rush and that I was sorry for throwing that upon her at this time. Then one day I took her to work, I dropped her off hugged her goodbye.
The next day she started school. I'm in College, she's in High School still. Within 3 days. She's talking to this other guy and she has a date for homecoming. It was a very depressing moment for me, it was like someone had ran over my dog or something. It was bad. I moped about for the next two weeks. Then she started dating this guy. When she did that, I stopped talking to her. She didn't text me or call me either, because I also told her when she said she didn't want to date, "Don't say this and start dating another guy if you really like me I'll stick with you and I hope you'll do the same."
Fast forward a month. I meet up with her again, where I met her in the first place the police training program. The first thing she does when she comes into the meeting is sits in the back, at the break we had she didn't talk to me, during the meeting we moved rooms and when she was working on something she looks at me like kinda sadly then went back to doing work.
When the meeting was over me and a couple of my buddies were talking, and I noticed she was sitting alone calling I guess her parents trying to get a ride. My friends and I were all riding in the same car, and I couldn't just leave her there all alone. So I went over to her and sat down next to her and we talked for awhile. I gave her a ride home along with my friends.
After that we seemed to be back to normal. She told me "Thanks for being so understanding." Now I started to hang out with her like I would one of my other friends but at the same time, I still love this girl. I know she still really likes me for a couple of reasons, one she says something about her and this boy she's with not working out to me quite a bit, two she's still flirty with me and I'm a sucker for that. I think she might just be dating this guy because she wants to date a guy that goes to her school, but I don't really know. She told me "To be there for her." prior to our break down of communication. So far I've done a hell of a job doing that, I've been there for her more than her boyfriend has.
I don't know what to do, I don't know if I should just not have that much to do with her or what. Like I said, she's special to me. I have never felt this connected to any girl before and I've had a girls in my life before. So I guess my real question is should I wait this out? She's keeps saying her boyfriend is a sweetheart, but then she's already having problems with him letting her hang out with me just because I'm a guy and I know she doesn't like someone trying to control her like that.
Tell me what you guys think. Sorry for such a long story... I just need to vent I guess. lol
