Fred's
Funeral
Fred works hard at the office
but spends two nights each week bowling,
and plays golf every
Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing
himself too hard, so for his birthday she
takes him to a local strip
club.
The doorman at the club
greets them and says,
""Hey, Fred! How ya
doin?"
His wife is puzzled and asks
if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Fred. "He's in
my bowling league."
When they are seated, a
waitress asks Fred if he'd like his usual and
brings over a
Budweiser.
His wife is becoming
increasingly uncomfortable and says,
"How did she know that you
drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the
waitress from the golf club. I always have
a Bud at the end of the 1st
nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to
their table, throws her arms around Fred,
starts to rub herself all
over him and says, "Hi Freddie.
Want your usual table dance,
big boy?"
Fred's wife, now furious,
grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Fred follows and spots her
getting into a taxi.
Before she can slam the door,
he jumps in beside her.
Fred tries desperately to
explain how the stripper must have mistaken
him for someone else, but his
wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him
at the top of her lungs, calling him every four
letter word in the
book.
The cabby turns around and
says,
"Geez Fred, you
picked up a real bitch this time."
Fred's funeral will be on
Saturday.
