I can't get used to this new look HELP!!!! - page 1 -

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I can't get used to this new look HELP!!!! by jdome on 19 Jul, 2011 10:05
Hey everyone,

I first off want to say that this forum and community is great for someone going through mpb and needs somewhere to turn. I am 33 and just went sly again about a week ago for the third time. Just for some history on me, I have always had great hair and was able to do the cool spikes and highlights. At around 25 I started to only get a receding hairline which I could have dealt with but then gradually it started to thin out in the front and a bit on the top in the front as well. It got to the point that I couldn't wear my hair the way I wanted to. You see I am a musician and always liked being able to wear a rocked out hair style. It got to the point where I just couldn't spike it in the front anymore and could really only wear it down (kind of flat and forward). Even wearing it this way when under light you could still see through to my scalp a bit in the front and it just didn't look cool to me anymore. When I buzzed it I think it looked even worse because it was thick all over but the front.

This just really took a toll on me confidence wise becuase I didn't feel as cool anymore. I knew I was still a great looking guy but just had no edge now. Like I said before I tried shaving my head a couple times before. The first time I did it, it didn't look as good on me becuase I was starting to get pudgy so I grew it back. I then tried it a second time after I got down to 10% body fat and into really great shape. Nerves and paranoia got the best of me and I again grew it back. It is now at the point where my hair loss has gotten worse and I don't know what else to do. I have looked into that micro pigmentation scalp tattoo as well as meeting with hair transplant doctors but I am just to scared that the results will not be what I want. I would probably be happy with a couple hair transplants so I can get the desired thickness but I just don't have the funds for that.

So I took the plunge again and went sly. I just can't seem to get used to it though. Every time I look in the mirror I think my ears ]are to big or that I look like a cancer patient. I am thinner in the face so that probably doesn't help. I have asked the opinions of friends and such and they say I can pull it off but I am still unsure. My biggest fear is that I will not be as attractive to women anymore. I do play in a band and fear that women will not be attracted to me now becuase I am bald. The only good thing is that I can pull it off better than before becuase I am great physical shape now. I just don't know what to do anymore and although I feel somewhat better bald because I don't have to worry about trying to style my hair or hide thin spots, I still feel less attractive when it comes to appealing to chicks.

Any help or advice here would be much appreciated and I would love to hear from some of you on how ladies have reacted to your sly look. Have you gotten more attention and been hit on more? The other thing to is I am 33 yet I feel that the sly look makes me look older becuase I did still have a good deal of hair left and now have none. It wasn't that I felt my hair made made me look older but rather the way I had to wear my hair would be that of someone older. I look forward to hearing from you soon and let me know how to post pics on here. Once I know how to do that I will post a few so you can see what it looks like on me.
#1 by kayaker on 19 Jul, 2011 10:16
I sorta had the same concerns as you. I would start laughing whenever I saw my reflection in a mirror. Then, after about a week there was a change and I saw it as normal.

I'm getting mostly positive feedback, which helps.
#2 by The Noggin on 19 Jul, 2011 12:24
See this info about posting pics.

Please follow the 30 days rule. Try to avoid looking into mirrors all the time - I know it's hard. Do you like the smooth feeling of your scalp? If that's the case then give yourself a good head rub from time to time and enjoy the sensation. Perhaps that'll help you.
#3 by sailor61 on 19 Jul, 2011 13:41
it's easier said than done but STOP OBSESSING on this. Relax an accept it for what it is, a new hair style. It's not gone permanently, it's just microscopically short. It takes a few days/weeks for most of us to really learn to appreciate the change. I'm heading onto 6 months and still startle on occasion when I inadvertently catch my reflection in a mirror. At first I thought it was because sly looked bad on me - now I know that's just a dramatic change after a lifetime of medium to short length hair.

#4 by TheSlyBear on 19 Jul, 2011 14:20
And there's nothing wrong with being a little pudgy!
#5 by D.A.L.U.I. on 19 Jul, 2011 15:01
Okay, you have a genetic predisposition to baldness, androgenic alopecia, that’s a fact based upon what you say. Nothing can be done to change your genetics. You say you’ve considered tattoos and other “permanent” solutions—the only problem what’s permanent about them isn’t the solution, only the lasting evidence that you’ve done it, scars and dots—that is what will be permanent. Rest assured that you are also correct that the results will not be what you want. That’s where you are.
Where are you going? Well, you’re going to be bald to one degree or another at a speed that could be rapid or it could continue at the current rate—but you are a balding man and that’s what the future holds for you. You’re just like most of us here at SBG.
So, what do you do? SBG obviously supports the safe and sane response of shaving. You will be bald, shaving puts you in control and hides the “going bald” part in plain sight. It’s not whether you’ll be bald, that is a fact. It’s how you handle and control the situation. Believe me, a shaved head is the easiest way to deal with the situation and on 99.99% of guys is a better look. Balding sucks, but bald can rock. 30 days will tell the tale—so get sly, get on with your life!
#6 by Razor X on 19 Jul, 2011 15:33
I went back and forth like you're doing several times before finally settling into the sly look, so I speak from experience when I say that the fact that you've shaved your head three times now means that deep down you realize that it's the only viable solution. I kicked myself every time I grew my hair back, because once it was all grown in, I remembered why I shaved it in the first place and regretted not sticking with it.

The 30 day rule is imperative, and makes all the difference in the world. There were days when I really had to force myself to keep shaving but when the 30 days were up, I was really glad I did. You'll never feel confident if you keep switching back and forth. If you stick with it for the 30 days, there's a tremendous feeling of satisfaction at having met that goal. The confidence will come; until it does, fake it and listen to those of us who preceded you down this path.
#7 by jdome on 19 Jul, 2011 18:38
Hey Guys,

I just wanted to thank all of you for the support I agree Razor X I guess I really have never given it a fair shot and really just need to complete the 30 days. By going back and forth with shaving and growing it back it's like I'm making myself go through the initial shock all over again.

And TheSlyBear I know there is nothing wrong with being pudgy and I am sorry if that offended you. I was fit my whole life until I got lazy around 29 and let myself go. I just want happy with what I had let myself become that's all. But after a lot of hard work and discipline I dropped 40lbs and am in the best shape of my life right now.

Like you said saintc I just have to accept the cards that I have been dealt right now. Even thought those other methods could work, there is also a good chance they could not, in which that case I would be permanently scarred and never be able to shave my head again. Even though if a lot of you saw my hair you might say "what are you worried about now?" But it is at point that I am not happy with the state my hair has gotten to and I know that down the road it will get worse, so I guess why not go sly now and enjoy it. Like I said when I go sly, I do like the feeling of the weight being lifted off my shoulders and not worrying about how my hair looks. It's just in social situations I am still worried. I guess I will be able to test it out this weekend. I have a trip I have to take to Pittsburgh and me and a couple buddies will be hitting the town. I will let you know how it goes.

Thanks again for all your support and I look forward to getting to know you all more on here. Oh yeah and my profile pic is a pic I just took of my newly sly dome!

Please let me know what you all think and if you think it suits me well.
#8 by D.A.L.U.I. on 19 Jul, 2011 18:52
#9 by Razor X on 19 Jul, 2011 18:52
It suits you very well ... you've got no reason to have confidence issues.
#10 by chgobuzzbald on 20 Jul, 2011 00:41
Please dont forget that there are women who PREFER sly bald guys. Everyone always assumes women never prefer sly guys. Thats not true at all. But NO woman ever prefers a guy with NO confidence in himself. You look great, be confident in that and you will succeed.
#11 by Laser Man on 20 Jul, 2011 06:35
It's how you act in social situations that will matter. I know I felt nervous when I first went sly, however it really was easier than I anticipated. Expect to get a few comments (good and bad) from people who know you, but if you are in a room full of strangers, realize 1) none of them knew you before you were sly, 2) their opinions don't matter, 3) people will react postively to you if you put forth a good image (how you behave, not just how you look.) The worst thing is to think people won't like you because you're sly - that's letting other people dictate how you look and how you feel about yourself.

From your picture, you look good sly. People will notice and comment positively. As far as how women will react, some women find the bald look irresistable. I've had only one negative comment from a woman who simply said, "I really don't like the bald look". As I've noted in other threads, I've had a number of women ask me if they could touch and rub my head. My answer is always, "yes".

So rather than be nervous, look forward to the experience knowing that it can be very good!

#12 by MikeyK on 20 Jul, 2011 07:49
I think the look actually suits you well. You just need the confidence to carry it off. From my experience, most people will focus on you the person and not your hair. Society may make a big deal about hair sometimes, but I think it's really just a way for the corporations to prey on our insecurities and make bigger profits. I took mine off a week ago and it's been pretty much a non-event for people I interact with. My hair is part of my past identity and it's gone now, and that's fine. In the same way that "you can't go home again" I would never try to resurrect it by chemical or artificial means.
#13 by mangosink12572 on 20 Jul, 2011 08:31
It sure does suit you - - -you have a great shaped dome - - -now enjoy the smooth bald head
#14 by kayaker on 20 Jul, 2011 08:55
Quote from: chgobuzzbald on 20 Jul, 2011 00:41
Please dont forget that there are women who PREFER sly bald guys. Everyone always assumes women never prefer sly guys. Thats not true at all. But NO woman ever prefers a guy with NO confidence in himself. You look great, be confident in that and you will succeed.

I'll second that. I'm in a committed relationship, not looking for anything. But there have been a few situations recently that have made me laugh.