You Know You`re Getting " Marvelously Mature " When . . . . . . .
1. You and your teeth don`t sleep together .
2. You try to staighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you are`nt wearing any .
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap,crackle,pop and you`re not eating cereal .
4. Your back goes out but you stay home .
5. When you wake up looking like your drivers license picture .
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch .
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio .
8. When happy hour is a nap .
9. When you say something to your kids that you mother said to you and you always hated it .
10. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired .
11. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
12. You sit in a rocking chair and can`t get it going .
13. Getting ' lucky " means you found your car in the parking lot .
14. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals .
15. It takes twice as long to look half as good .
16. Everything hurts , and what does`nt hurt - does`nt work .
17. You have more patience , but it is actually that you just don`t care anymore .
18. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart .
19. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don`t even remember being on top of it .
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