Author Topic: "self" acceptance was easy but...  (Read 3248 times)

Offline loner742

  • Learning the way of Sly
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"self" acceptance was easy but...
« on: May 06, 2011, 06:42:08 AM »
Self-acceptance is easy for me but that doesn't change how other people look at me. Look, I know that sounds really angsty, but it's important to point out this is not depressed ramble. Not everybody can relate to me and I don't expect anyone to. I am twenty-three and have been balding since my sophomore year of high school. I am also literally deformed. It's an incurable condition similar to scoliosis. I'm only looking for some advice, and maybe some stories of how you dealt with balding and mistreatment from others.
But no pity, please, I'm not a victim.

I'm comfortable with myself and my masculinity. Shaving my hair just isn't that big of a deal for me. Last year I went sly just to see how it felt.
My social life was completely miserable.
First it was bad because of my deformity. When people look at me they don't see a health problem. They only see a guy with poor posture whose, "Some scrawny loser." Squats are impossible for me. I cannot work out at the gym. When I was sly it only got worse. You need to be buff in order for this appearance work, right? Being scrawny while bald just doesn't cut it. Nobody would want to be around someone like that. Even store clerks asked if I was dying from cancer. All of the self-acceptance in the world doesn't stop complete strangers from shouting profanities out their car window at me. That's how bad it really was.

Today my hair is grown out and it's not so terrible. But it continues to recede and eventually it'll look awful. Shaving hair isn't some kind of fashion statement its a part of life and growing old. I am perfectly content with myself but being isolated like this is suffocating. Hormone therapy will only slow down the recession and permanently destroy my libido. Implants will leave scars everywhere and you'll look like an idiot. But the worst thing about "treatments" for me- admitting to myself that I should feel ashamed for something I cannot help. That just isn't who I am. Right now my self-esteem is fine but I think it will be ruined forever if I went through with it. The risks might be worth it though. Right now I'm just considering my options very carefully. I just don't know what I should be doing differently. Any ideas?
« Last Edit: May 06, 2011, 07:01:33 AM by loner742 »

Offline alza

  • Learning the way of Sly
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Re: "self" acceptance was easy but...
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2011, 03:14:15 PM »
Hey Guy! Hope all is well. First of all - I empathize with your condition. But you did mention that you have accepted it. And that is a step in the right direction my friend. The unfortunate part of all this is that we have A-holes running around this world that need to give their heads a shake. I'm not sure what to suggest to you however I can tell you this, this is a great site for support. I am sure that you will find emotional support from the members here.

On the hair loss, you will have to find a happy medium. If your not totally comfortable going sly, than shave it down really close - a buzz cut if you will. Once you've tried various lengths you will now what works best for you and stick with it.

Just try to remember that you need to enjoy life, for it is precious and limited.


Offline Timmer

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  • And it harm none, do what you will.
Re: "self" acceptance was easy but...
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2011, 04:06:29 PM »
Welcome to SBG!

The thing is to figure out what YOU'RE comfortable with.  The cool thing about going sly is that if you don't like it, stop shaving it, in a couple months you're back to something resembling what you used to look like.

Take the 30 day challenge.  Shave it.  Keep it slick for 30 days.  If you don't like it after that, let it grow back.  But make a commitment to stick it out for 30 days.  That way you'll know.

One definition of "surrender" is, "To join the winning side."


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