Heading for a midlife crisis

[JesseN]

Hi, everyone.  I found this site via Google search and thought that it might be a good place to get some support. I'm turning 40 in May and the closer I get to it the closer I get to panic mode. My hairline is rapdily receeding. Rogaine did not work. I can't afford a transplant and don't want to wear a wig. My beard is turning gray, has been for a few years now but I suddenly developed a bad reaction to Just for Men and im currently looking for an alternative product. There doesn't seem to be many choices available except for womans hair dye which i'm afraid will look fake but i guess I'll have to try it because I don't want to shave my beard that I've had for 15 years.

Iknow everyone says we should be proud of our age but the truth is I'm not.  In fact I feel a deep sense of shame not only about getting older but looking it. I'm trying hard not to turn into a middle age man but Im losing the battle. I know I shouldnt feel that way but I do. I know i'm going to have to shave my head soon in light of the rogaine failure but I'm not happy about it. Its better than a bozo ring I guess. Can somebody at least recommend a good beard dye to use instead of Just for Men because I just can't cope with a bald head AND a gray beard.

[LatinCoffee]

Welcome...Im new here too!

[marty22]

welcome!

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Get a grip, this is mpb and gray hair, it's not cancer, ALS, or any disease, you're getting older--and to borrow the thoughts of Mark Twain in response to a question how it felt to be 90 or 91, something in there, he remarked, "Better than the alternative."  Your balding head and gray hair are genetic traits they have nothing to do with your value as a person, they don't detract from the services you can render your fellow man. 
Stop looking in the mirror right after you shave it down and start looking at the future.  That's just how it is. 

[Mikekoz13]

When you shave your head, shave your beard too...... grey is gone!!!! Come on man... middle age is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm 50 and life has never been better. It's all about your attitude. Positive energy will bring good things to you and bad energy will just bring misery.

Get off the "Woe is Me" wagon and get on the "Man I can't wait to see what today brings" train!!

[TheSlyBear]

Dude, if gray and bald were a real issue, I'd be in sad shape! You really need some perspective!

Ashamed? Of getting old? Seriously, WTF? Is it somehow a personal failing that you cannot stop the hands of time?

It's hair. Just hair. Time to concentrate on what's important, and stop fretting over things that are not, and that you are powerless to change even if they were important.

You've made some good decisions -- notably avoiding mutilating yourself with transplants. Now follow it up with better decisions.

You've also found the best support group you could ever hope to find! Welcome.

And just 40! Phhhppp! Whippersnapper!

[Chromeo]

Welcome to SBG!  Believe it or not, thousands of other guys are going through the same dilemma as you.  I'm sure that it is devastating that things aren't working out the way you want them to.  So, you can sit around and dwell about it or accept it and move on to the next phase of life.  I say move on and be happy.  One suggestion though, when you shave the noggin, reduce the beard down to a goatee.  Lots of SBG dudes carry the look well.

[buddha]

The secret for me is to know that in the end I will be nothing but a corpse and, in light of that, the rest of it becomes just an ordinary pain in the a$$.
As far as being proud of age that is an empty concept. If I live to be 80 and have been nothing but a weight for those around me to carry then I have NOTHING to be proud of. If I have led a life where I have carried my share of the burden and occasionally helped others with theirs then I at least I have nothing to be ashamed of. Being gray and bald and fat has nothing to do with that because it does not indicate worth.
Shame regarding age, for me, would take the form of knowing that I have not shown kindness to those around me. I'm lucky to have a job in a field that encourages this. Think about volunteering at a children's cancer ward, you won't be able to get rid of your hair fast enough.

[BuzzKC]

Buddha, you nailed it!

[Arnie]

Welcome to SBGs!!!

You've come to the right place for shared experience and advice.

I'm your age...going SLY made me look younger and has been very liberating for me!!!  Wish I did it sooner!!!

I'm seeing some gray in my goatee...I tried the Just for Men Beard/Moustache in my color and have been happy with it.

For some reason, lately people have been thinking I'm more like approaching 30 than 40...

You will see once you get your SLY routine down...it's not just an appearance...it's an attitude...a GREAT ATTITUDE!!!

[deman]

I don't know of anyone that has ever gotten younger with age. At least you can shave it and let it grow back if you have objections to it. Look, everyone on here has had some sort of cross to carry with their mpb....take their advice, you'll be happy you did!

[wpruitt]

Welcome Jesse

[karlman84]

Welcome, I am new to SBG too. I am 27 and far ahead of my peers in receding hair line  mine started when I was 18! Just imagine being in highschool and being mocked of you thinning hair.

I will say this, when I did accept it, and rolled with it I felt much better. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. One day I realized, why am I feeling depressed about this? Its just hair.

There are lots of people in this world who have much worse medical conditions and pain to deal with, and they have only smiles and happy thoughts.

I do think you took the right step and came here for support as you are definitly not the only one!

[BaldHDbiker]

Welcome Jesse.

I don't know what would work on your beard but gray and bald look well together.

If you really want to keep the beard I'd suggest going to a hair salon and see what they recommend to color it. I know Supercuts will dye hair and beards so if you have one nearby check in with them and good luck.