MPB + AA. Need help accepting it and going sly

[Nik]

Hi everyone. Firstly I would like to thank you guys for all the great posts on this site. I have been spending quite alot of time over the past couple of weeks, reading posts on this site, and if anything it has really helped me. I am still struggling to come to terms with all that's happening but I definitely feel like things are improving.

So let me give a bit of background to my situation. I am 26 yo and back in December, after experiencing sudden shedding, I visited my dermatologist and was diagnosed with aggressive mpb (although there is no history of hair loss in the family) and diffuse alopecia areata all along the front of the scalp. This was not the first time I had experienced alopecia areata. Stress over a number of incidents (traumatic break up, father being diagnosed with cancer, stress at work due to redundancies), over the last 2 years led to a series of alopecia areata cases. I have naturally always had extremely thick hair with no receding hairline and that was the case up until 4-5 months ago, however, things are very different now. The diffuse alopecia areata has caused the hairline to recede by almost an inch literally overnight, while the mpb has been causing shedding non-stop since December. I also still have a patch, 2cm in diameter on the side of my head. Now despite the receding hairline, patch and the fact that I only have 50-60% of the density, I had 4 months ago, I am still able to cover these areas up and it is only now starting to become slightly noticeable.

Now I know that this is no long term solution though and the more I think about it the more I feel I should accept it, take back control of my life and go sly, like all you great people here have decided to do. There is one side of me still thinking rationally that really wants to get this over and done with. At the same time though there is another part of me that is just extremely scared. Although I've been through some pretty rough situations in the past 2 years, this is by far what has scared me the most. And what is scaring me is the speed at which this is progressing and the fact that if I choose to go sly there is no turning back for me. Its not as if I will be able to let it grow back, given I have the alopecia areata patches.

I know this is not an alopecia areata forum and sorry for having hijacked this space but I feel that maybe the challenge I am facing is similar to what alot of you have faced in the past, the difference being that mine has taken shape and form in only a few months time.

Any feedback or piece of advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Nik

[Razor X]

Now I know that this is no long term solution though and the more I think about it the more I feel I should accept it, take back control of my life and go sly, like all you great people here have decided to do. There is one side of me still thinking rationally that really wants to get this over and done with. At the same time though there is another part of me that is just extremely scared. Although I've been through some pretty rough situations in the past 2 years, this is by far what has scared me the most. And what is scaring me is the speed at which this is progressing and the fact that if I choose to go sly there is no turning back for me. Its not as if I will be able to let it grow back, given I have the alopecia areata patches.

I don't have alopecia areata but I can relate to how you're feeling.  I was afraid to shave my head because I knew my MPB had gotten to a point where it would be difficult, if not impossible, to grow it back.  It was as much of a one-way street for me as it is for you.  But eventually I came to terms with the fact that what was going to happen was going to happen.  One way or another I was going to end up bald.  My choices were a shaved head or a horseshoe.  I wasn't sure I wanted a shaved head, but I was sure that I didn't want a horseshoe.  And that's when I realized that the decision had been made for me.  I wasted a lot of time agonizing over it and being afraid.  Don't do that.  It sounds like you know what needs to be done, but you need a little push.  Do it. You will feel better immediately.  I promise.

I know this is not an alopecia areata forum and sorry for having hijacked this space but I feel that maybe the challenge I am facing is similar to what alot of you have faced in the past, the difference being that mine has taken shape and form in only a few months time.

No need to apologize; we're here to offer support, regardless of the reason behind your hair loss.  I don't mean to make light of your situation, but one of the worst things about MPB is that it is a long, drawn out process.  Eventually you get to an awkward stage where your hair isn't going to look good no matter what you do, but you think you aren't "bald enough" to shave yet (newsflash: it is time to shave when you start feeling this way).  I know I got to the point where I just wanted to be bald and have it over with.  If the rest of my hair had fallen out overnight, I'd have welcomed it. 

Luckily, relief is just a razor blade and a can of shaving cream away.  Balding is not a choice; bald is a choice.  And bald is infinitely preferable to balding. 

[TheSlyBear]

Luckily, relief is just a razor blade and a can of shaving cream away.  Balding is not a choice; bald is a choice.  And bald is infinitely preferable to balding. 

Well said, Razor!

[sailor61]

Yeah, what Razor said.

[mangosink12572]

Razor  - - -You sure are sharp - - -

[Nik]

Thank you Razor for the advice. I have taken the first small step and ordered the headblade, should be receiving it today. I am sure it will take me a while to take the plunge but I guess at least its the first small step. Last night was also the first night in 3 months that I've been able to sleep properly. Can't say I'm not stressing over it but I am starting to come to terms with the fact that this is the only route for me moving forward.

Meanwhile I had quite an experience yesterday evening. About a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine from work had a skiing accident, injuring his spine, and for which he had to undergo surgery to stabilise it. He was brought back to the country only 3-4 days ago so yesterday was the first time I visited him in the rehabilitation clinic. At the moment he is still in bed and still has no sensation or movement beneath his chest. The next 4-6 weeks will be crucial given the spinal shock is subsiding. What blew my mind was his positive attitude about all that is happening. He mentioned that the worst case scenario for him would be to remain as he is today and then he would still be able to lead a normal life. And that one phrase of his, was a wake up call that set things in perspective. I felt ashamed, if you like that I have spent so much of my days, in the past 3 months, stressing over my hair loss. I am confident that his positive mind frame and will power, will do wonders for him and that we will see great improvement over the next few weeks.

I just thought I should share my experience with you guys

[Mikekoz13]

Welcome Nik! That's a great story about your Friend.

[deman]

Nik, take Razor's advice....we can all relate to shedding hair at some point and it is very stressful for someone in their 20's. But your story about your friend should put some perspective on things for you and all of us. I'm very new here so I can't give you full insight to being sly, but the way I motivated myself was by reading online about the childrens cancer charity St Baldrick's. It's a great way to help out kids with cancer and to go about shaving your head as I'm sure you can find an event happening nearby. You can make a donation and get your head shaved all at the same time! There's nothing better than the feeling of helping kids out who are in need but a close second is going sly! Good luck to you!

[Arnie]

Welcome to SBGs!!!

[Razor X]

Thank you Razor for the advice. I have taken the first small step and ordered the headblade, should be receiving it today. I am sure it will take me a while to take the plunge but I guess at least its the first small step.

It may not be such a small step. I had been thinking about shaving my head for a long time when one day I got a free sample Mach III razor in the mail.  I kind of took it as a sign.  I didn't use it right away, but every time I went into the bathroom, there it was on the counter, calling out to me ...   

Last night was also the first night in 3 months that I've been able to sleep properly. Can't say I'm not stressing over it but I am starting to come to terms with the fact that this is the only route for me moving forward.

You'll be surprised at how relieved you feel once you've done the deed. Even if you don't like the way it looks (which is unlikely), you'll feel like a huge burden has been lifted from you.  It's the same feeling of accomplishment that comes with succeeding with anything you previously thought you couldn't do.  That's where the increased confidence comes from.

Meanwhile I had quite an experience yesterday evening. About a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine from work had a skiing accident, injuring his spine, and for which he had to undergo surgery to stabilise it. He was brought back to the country only 3-4 days ago so yesterday was the first time I visited him in the rehabilitation clinic. At the moment he is still in bed and still has no sensation or movement beneath his chest. The next 4-6 weeks will be crucial given the spinal shock is subsiding. What blew my mind was his positive attitude about all that is happening. He mentioned that the worst case scenario for him would be to remain as he is today and then he would still be able to lead a normal life. And that one phrase of his, was a wake up call that set things in perspective. I felt ashamed, if you like that I have spent so much of my days, in the past 3 months, stressing over my hair loss.

Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn't it?   I hope your friend will be OK. 

[karlman84]

Nik,

I am the same age as you and noticed my thin hair at 18.  Going SLY is a big step, it seems like such a huge decision, I understand this.

My going sly was because of Halloween!  It was in 2007.  I was asked to be Charlie Brown for Halloween as I already had daily short hair with a bald crown.  I said sure why not, I shaved my head with the clippers on Oct 30 as close as I could get it, then had a shower and shaved the rest with a fresh Mock 3 razor.  I was shocked to see that it actually looked good! I decided to keep my Sly look from that point on.

I do find that shaving my head completely is too time consuming and typically go with the shortest setting on normal buzzers that you can by at Wal-Mart.

Before joining this site today, I did not even know there was a "head blade" and will look into seeing if I can shave my head more easily now.

The only other advise I can offer from my own experience is that once I finally accepted MPB, I was ok with it.  For me it helped to make small jokes about it.  My ongoing story at work is that my hair and I are going through a long and nasty divorce...   I have won rights over my head, but my hair is still taking its time to move out!