Fatherly Advice

[jusbnme]

I echo pretty much what others have said.  The first few months you are probably going to feel a little overwhelmed by the new "situation" and schedules you have.  But it all does get better as you go along.  Just keep that in mind.  Patience is a big thing.  I've never really had much patience for anything and I can have a quick temper at times.  I had heard all the different kinds of advice going into it but nothing could prepare me for the reality of it.  Not to make it sound like a bad thing.  It's wonderful but you are going to have your moments where you feel you just want to bang your head off a wall.  My advice is to take a breath, get alone, and remind yourself of the miracle you have created.  Also remember as a baby coming into the world they have no clue of how to let you know about anything that is going on with them.  All they can do is whine and cry and hope that you can figure it out.  And that's exactly what you have to do...You have to figure out what all those different cries mean.  I hope I haven't made it sound like a horror story.  I just wanted to be straight up with you.  One thing my wife and I have always said is we can't stand those people that have had kids and try to get all dramatic and tell you, "Oh it's the most wonderful thing in the world.  Children are a blessing.  There's nothing like having a baby."  That's all true...It is a wonderful and joyful experience but let's not leave out the reality of it either.  In my experience so far it is a joy that I could never describe to someone unless they have experienced it.  The most important thing is to enjoy it while you can because it does fly by.  My son is only a little over a year old now but it seemed like yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital.  Congrats again. 

[Shiny]

Leather is just a by-product of eating meat.  Meat is good on the table and leather is good on the couch. 

Congrats Tyler!  I hope you have an easy one for your first.  I lucked out and didn't have the one my Mom was hoping for.  You know, the one "just like me".  My Melissa has been easy right from the moment she was surgically removed from her temporary life support system.

But there are two things that you MUST DO!
First to insure your child's successfull development, make sure that your wife and you are on the same page on every subject that comes up.  You two MUST be a united front!
Second to insure YOUR sanity stays intact, you'll need to learn to worry gracefully because worry is something you're going to do a lot of.  You'll worry that the little tike is going to choke on a toy or pull a heavy knick knack off of a low shelf onto his/her head.  You'll worry that they'll ride their bike out into traffic without looking and then you'll worry about pregnancy, drugs, alcohol, cars, grades, universities, career choices, and so on.  Get used it to man!
It's all worth it though.  I'll never forget the feeling that took over my entire being when the nurse handed me my daughter and she was still just turning pink.   

[Tyler]

Thanks for all of the advice guys!  From what it sounds like, I'm lucky to be a pretty patient and mellow guy right now, but we'll see how that's tested with the little one comes along.

[Robmeister]

.....leather furniture cleans up a heck of a lot easier than fabric....get darker carpets and tile floors as opposed to hardwood.

AMEN!!

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling your driveway during a snowstorm".

AMEN!!

[Tyler]

.....leather furniture cleans up a heck of a lot easier than fabric....get darker carpets and tile floors as opposed to hardwood.

AMEN!!

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling your driveway during a snowstorm".

AMEN!!

Are you saying you agree with him?   

 

[PBurke]

my two cents:

Kids are the greatest thing that can ever happen to you. BUT, I understand more and more eveeryday, why some animals eat their young at birth. and no that does not mean i would ever wish harm on a child. it just means that parenthood is the most difficult, yet rewarding, job you will ever have.

[Robmeister]

Kids are the greatest thing that can ever happen to you...parenthood is the most difficult, yet rewarding, job you will ever have.

AMEN!!

[Blagadan]

Best proper advice I can give is...

1. Boundaries.  Set rules and stick to them but be fair and consistent.  Kids respond well to rules, they know where they stand, it gives them a sense of stability and comfort.

2. Good cop, bad cop - bad idea.  You and your partner need to be on the same page and back each other up. Don't contradict each other.

3. Ignore bad behaviour but reward good behaviour.  By that I don't mean "ignore" as in "excuse" but don't give a child attention if it is being naughty, give it attention when it is being good.

4. Play with your child.  Very good for the child, they learn a lot from parents that way.

5. Bad habits.  Don't get into bad habits like letting the child play with toys during dinner etc.

My friends always thought I was far too strict on my son, they were much more easy going and gave the child anything it wanted. Who's laughing now? Me, I tell ya!

[Paul]

Best proper advice I can give is...

1. Boundaries.  Set rules and stick to them but be fair and consistent.  Kids respond well to rules, they know where they stand, it gives them a sense of stability and comfort.

2. Good cop, bad cop - bad idea.  You and your partner need to be on the same page and back each other up. Don't contradict each other.

3. Ignore bad behaviour but reward good behaviour.  By that I don't mean "ignore" as in "excuse" but don't give a child attention if it is being naughty, give it attention when it is being good.

4. Play with your child.  Very good for the child, they learn a lot from parents that way.

5. Bad habits.  Don't get into bad habits like letting the child play with toys during dinner etc.

My friends always thought I was far too strict on my son, they were much more easy going and gave the child anything it wanted. Who's laughing now? Me, I tell ya!

Great advice.  The vast majority of students I have to deal with in a BD classroom did not have such clear cut guidelines in their lives.

[Blagadan]

...

6 Being positive.
  6.1 I never caution my child when he goes places, telling him not to misbehave, instead I tell him to have fun.
  6.2 Always tell your child well done when they try to do something, no matter how bad they may have done.

There's more in my head, just can't get em out.

p.s.
Go raibh maith agat a Phól!

[BALDANDRE]

Ok Tyler...here's a good one...TAKE ADVANTAGE of the parental leave of absence...california has a great plan for fathers who want time off to "bond"...

you can use it up to a full year of the childs birth (it's up to 6 weeks)...

It's a great thing to use...you've been putting into your whole time working, take advantage and use it!

[BALDANDRE]

Oh, another one....

start working out the back and "guns"...heavy...you'll need them both...surprising how much endurance and strength you need for the long 'holds" and eventually the "play"...

our little dude is a monkey and climbs all over my arms, usually just one foot on an arm (especially the forearms)..it's a nice boost to the workout I do on my arms...they KILL by the end of the night...

START working out (even more on those parts) , now!

[jusbnme]

Oh, another one....

start working out the back and "guns"...heavy...you'll need them both...surprising how much endurance and strength you need for the long 'holds" and eventually the "play"...

our little dude is a monkey and climbs all over my arms, usually just one foot on an arm (especially the forearms)..it's a nice boost to the workout I do on my arms...they KILL by the end of the night...

START working out (even more on those parts) , now!

Yes, be ready for some long holdings.  It also wouldn't hurt to practice doing just about everything with one arm. 

[BALDANDRE]

[

Yes, be ready for some long holdings.  It also wouldn't hurt to practice doing just about everything with one arm. 
[/quote]

...or just carry around a twenty pound sack of flour and do everything around the house, while your still carrying it!

[jusbnme]

[

Yes, be ready for some long holdings.  It also wouldn't hurt to practice doing just about everything with one arm. 

...or just carry around a twenty pound sack of flour and do everything around the house, while your still carrying it!
[/quote]

That's the truth bro.  I've been home with my son since he was born so I'm pretty much "Mr. Mom."  I have done the laundry, gotten mail, gotten the paper, fed my cats, made food, fixed bottles for my son, etc...All holding him in one arm or the other.  What really sucks is when I go out with him, forget his stroller, then get to where I was going and they don't have carts to put him in.  Talk about some long holding time....